We hold immense respect and love for mothers; from being pregnant to giving birth to raising a child is a miracle in its own right. It takes a toll on most mothers, but they still struggle and do it all with a smile on their faces. Keeping that in mind, we think childbirth and its process is ultimately a mother’s right, she should have it the way she wants, and her husband should support her.
Today’s story comes from Mumsnet – the largest parenting forum online where mothers, fathers, and single parents from all over the world come and discuss the hardships & struggles of parenting. A distraught expecting mother spoke about how her husband disagrees with her wanting water birth and says “pain is bonding.”
The Story
Expecting mother with the username soshnomore posted her situation on Mumsnet AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable?) sub-forum. Here it is, in her own words:
“So I’m not pregnant but hoping to be in the next few months. I have previously told OH I would ideally like a water birth, which he was totally against. He is very much of the opinion that a ‘normal birth on land’ has worked for 1000s of years so why should I want to do something different.
“Last night I brought it up again after reading a study that showed water births can decrease tearing and generally improve a mother’s wellbeing during childbirth.
“He believes that the more pain you go through, the better your bond with your baby, and cites statistics about mothers who have c-sections being more likely to develop PTSD or PND.
“It’s like debating with a child. He doesn’t listen to my point of view or really take my feelings into consideration at all in the situation.
“I’d rather we find a woman who will carry your egg and give a normal birth than choosing to “lay my eggs in water when they should be laid in a nest”.”
“I mean come on… He basically said if I had a water birth he would never forgive me.
“I’ve said we can speak to a doctor or a midwife and seek their advice but he is dead set against it and has “had his last word on it”.
“Am I being unreasonable to think that ultimately the way I give birth is my decision, and he should have more consideration for how I will feel in this whole thing?”
The Responses & Massive Support
This expecting mother got nothing but positive and supportive responses from parents on Mumsnet for holding her ground and not giving in.
Mumnset user areyouafraidofthedark said:
“Oh ffs tell him to grow up, your body your decision. If he has such twaty views about birth what else does he have stupid views on. Do you really want a child with this man?”
dazzlingdeborahrose said:
“Not his decision. Just tell him you’re having a water-birth. If he can’t support your decision you need a different birth partner.”
KenDodd chimed in:
“I didn’t even finish reading about what he was saying.
Your body, your decision, end of.”
pinkyredrose had this to say:
“Do you really want children with this man? What kind of father do you think he’ll be?”
This thread has over 600 comments & messages you can read them on Mumsnet here.
Our Take
We support mothers and their decisions; they know what’s best for them and their children. It’s a simple thing to grasp, let women have birth the way they’re comfortable with. If a husband can’t understand what kind of ordeal it is for his wife to go through, he’s not a good or supportive husband in any form.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this woman’s situation? Talk to us in the comments below and share your take.
