Love is probably the single most beautiful experience we could possibly ever share with another human being. It might be the most amazing experience we could ever have in this life. Period. And that’s true. There is a lot of beauty and joy to be had in love. However, love also has another face – it’s uglier side.
The truth is that love in itself isn’t going to be perfect. Love can often be a really big pain in the butt. Love can be a lot of hard work. Love can be a source of a lot of disappointment and heartache. And that’s just part of what makes love so valuable. The fact that it’s so hard to attain is what makes it so desirable.
And no, get your head out of your ass. Love isn’t going to be like some kind of romance novel or film. Love isn’t going to have perfect conditions with perfect leading men and women who deliver the best lines. Love isn’t always going to work out in the end.
And that’s why you always have to be trying your hardest to make it work. If you take love for granted, then you risk losing it entirely. But how exactly do you go about such a thing? How do you make love last? What do you really have to do to make sure that your love stands the test of time? Well, if you’re interested in gaining more perspective on the matter, just continue to read on.
The author of books like Imagine, How We Decide, and A Book About Love, Jonah Lehrer actually has some very interesting things to say about the matter. But before we delve any deeper into it, you have to brace yourself. A lot of what you are going to read here is going to go against a lot of beliefs that you may have clung on to in the past.
In fact, a bulk of the things that Lehrer has to say is actually going to be very unromantic and unappealing – it’s stuff that isn’t going to be good enough for the Hollywood blockbusters. It’s not going to be a fairy tale. You are going to get a healthy dose of reality and you might not necessarily like what reality has to say about love. This is all science that has been backed by research and it has a lot of revealing points to make about love and relationships as a whole.
We always like to ask couples about how they met or how they got married. But we never really ask couples how they made everything last. And that’s the question that we’re going to try to get to the bottom of in this article.
1. Online dating doesn’t typically work.
A lot of people resort to online dating almost as a form of desperation. They are so tired of striking out in real life that they think they need an algorithm to help them find true love. These people think that there is actually some merit in inputting their likes and dislikes so that they can find people they share similar personalities with. However, just because two people share similar interests doesn’t necessarily guarantee relationship success. It turns out that compatibility has nothing to do with two people liking the same music or movies.
2. Arguments in a relationship can actually be good.
Just because a couple has arguments a lot doesn’t mean that their relationship is not healthy. In fact, a couple that is able to thrive in spite of having lots of arguments means that that is a very strong couple. Arguments in relationships are actually healthy because they help bring two people close to one another. It’s just a matter of being able to argue and disagree in a very healthy and mature manner. Couples who avoid arguments tend to be the ones who feel insecure about the strength of their relationship.
3. Arranged marriages are likely to succeed.
A lot of people get sucked into the whole “soulmate” idea to a point that is just plain unhealthy. These people get into relationships and they think that they don’t have to work hard since they’re already “meant to be.” But that’s rarely ever the case. These relationships end up crumbling because they take one another for granted. Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are more likely to succeed. Why? It’s because these two people are put in a position wherein they are forced to make things work. They are actually forced to make the most of the situation that they’re in.
4. Couples who embrace the struggle are the couples who last.
No relationship is ever going to be easy. All relationships are going to go through their fair share of struggles and hard times. And it’s the couples who embrace the grind of the relationship who often end up making their love last. They understand the work that is required of them and they don’t shy away from that effort.