We all have our own techniques and methods when it comes to trying to overcome heartbreak from a breakup. Breakups are always difficult, and we all deal with these difficulties the best way we can. I know a few people who actually think that the best way to really move on from an ex is to get into a new relationship with someone else.
There are other people I know who think that the best way to get over an ex would be to just focus on the self in order to become whole again. It can all seem a little contradictory and confusing, yes. That’s the problem with diversity in the world. We are all too unique and different that some methods don’t always work for all people who go through a certain struggle.
Fortunately for you, science is always working on providing answers to life’s unanswerable questions. A new study on breakups has recently revealed some definitive methods on how you can really get over your ex.
The study in question was published by the Journal of Experimental Psychology, and they found that there is one particular method that is proven to be quite effective in getting over a breakup.
The researches pooled together a group of 24 people who were undergoing heartbreak at the time. These people were all between the ages of 20 and 37. All of the people in this study had been in long-term relationships as well. And on average, they were with their partners for around 2 and a half years. The nature of the breakups varied from a case to case basis. Some people in the study claimed that they were the ones who got broken up with. And others claimed that they were the ones who broke up with their partners. The unifying denominator here was that all of them happened to be going through some form of heartbreak at the time of the study.
The way that the researches conducted the study was quite comprehensive and complex so as to yield the most accurate results possible. There were four very distinct strategies and methodologies that were employed to carry out the entire study:
The first strategy that was employed was to try to get the people in the study to see their exes in a negative light. So the participants were implored to just focus on all the aspects of the relationship that annoyed them the most. They were forced to really think about all the things of the relationship that made them the most irritable. It could be little habits or even huge personality issues.
The second strategy involved was a more positive approach to moving on from the heartbreak. Participants were encouraged to really confront their feelings and emotions, and accept the fact that they weren’t particularly happy at that time. In this strategy, participants were really forced to come to terms with their feelings and the reality of the situation.
The third strategy that was used by the researchers in their study was to distract the participants from what they were feeling. In this particular strategy, the participants were requested to think about things that didn’t concern their exes or their relationships. They were asked to really focus a lot of their time and energy on other aspects of life such as pop culture, careers, hobbies, and interests. For instance, when participants would start to think about their exes, they were immediately asked to shift their thoughts to other things such as a book or a TV show.
And lastly, the fourth strategy was more liberal and freeing. Participants weren’t really asked to think about anything in particular at all – and this is where things started to get really interesting.
In order to determine which of the strategies was most effective, the conductors of the study decided to place the participants in a compromising position by showing them pictures of their exes. And that can be a very vulnerable spot to be in. It would be the same feeling that you might get if you see a picture of your ex pop up on your news feed being all happy and joyous without you. It can be a very heart-wrenching and stomach pumping experience. And research showed that the participants were greatly responding to the stimulus in this scenario.
So, the researchers concluded that the first three strategies that were employed were the most effective in minimizing the emotional effects of heartbreak on people. When people aren’t told to do anything; that’s when their thoughts and feelings will tend to linger on how sad they are. However, when participants are told to do something; to focus on a specific task, they responded in a more positive and healthy manner.