Well, if you’re looking for a definitive answer, you should know that you aren’t going to find it here. The real truth is that all relationships are going to be different. And that’s why it’s hard to give a definitive answer. It all really depends on the types of personalities that you have and what kind of relationship that you have. The real answer could span from anywhere between a few dates to a few months after you’ve started dating.
One of the major reasons why it’s so hard to determine the proper time to start having sex in a relationship is because there really hasn’t been that much research that has been conducted on the matter. On top of that, the whatever studies that may have been conducted surrounding this question have been very limiting. A lot of them are focused on certain age groups or sexual orientations. There are very few studies that have taken a look at the state of the relationship when it relates to when a couple first decides to have sex. And all of the research that you can find out there may show conflicting results.
In the earlier parts of this millennium, Illinois State University professor Sandra Metts decided to conduct a study to find out if the level of emotional communication in a relationship when two people have sex for the first time could influence the longevity of the relationship as a whole. Her research spanned more than 300 college-aged men and women – and her findings are astonishing. Metts found out that couples who have sex prior to pronouncing their love for one another had very negative experiences as compared to those who made their love known beforehand.
However, there isn’t really any clear indicator as to when you should have sex with your partner for the first time based on Mett’s research. However, she was able to provide a list of basic steps and stages that relationships should undertake before choosing to get physically intimate. For one, Metts found that it was important for two people to get to know each other first. And then it was important to pave the way for the first kiss. And ultimately, this all builds up to a certain mutual understanding of commitment and loyalty to one another in a relationship. Once that emotional connection has been forged and established, it then paves the way for higher levels of physical intimacy in a relationship. Other leading experts in the field of relationships and psychotherapy affirm the fact that establishing an emotional connection with your partner is always going to be key in any kind of relationship.
The experts found that you always need to have a strong level of communication in your relationship. You need to be able to express your thoughts and feelings to one another in a very open and effective way. That is the only way you are both going to understand one another and be on the same page in your relationship. And when two people are on the same page in a relationship, it is at the advice of leading experts that couples are ready to engage in sexual intercourse with one another. There isn’t really a specific timetable for when two people can forge a solid emotional connection with one another. Some couples take weeks and others take months.
To put it simply, it’s always essential that you have a kind of emotional bond with your partner before you have sex with one another. And given that premise, there are 3 options that you can undertake to answer this question.
Option 1: Wait for as long as you can
There are those who believe that the longer you wait to have sex, the more stable and satisfying your relationship is going to be. When you refrain from having sex, then you are giving yourselves as a couple to really focus on the emotional aspects of your relationship rather than the physical – and that is somehow believed to strengthen your bond as a couple which will help you in the long run.
Option 2: Wait for a few months
Some other experts believe that at least three months would serve as ample time for couples to emerge from their honeymoon phase and get right into the thick of things in the relationship. It’s during this stage where couples are believed to have really strong emotional bonds that transcend physical attraction – and that makes it safe for them to engage in sexual intercourse without making it all about that.
Option 3: Wait for a few weeks
But then there are also those who believe that you shouldn’t wait too long to explore your partner’s body in a sexual manner. Sometimes, sexual intercourse can be a good gauge of the sexual chemistry between two people. And this is something that has to be found out early on before things progress any deeper.