Are they in it for the sex?
In the age of social media dating, it’s all about the image. There’s just no denying that. We have evolved (or regressed; depending on how you look at things) into a world of aesthetics. How we look matters so much more at the start than what’s inside of us these days and that’s just a fact of life. People who meet the universal standards of aesthetic beauty just have better chances at finding success in life. That’s practically common knowledge at this point. That’s why the objectification of people is such a hot commodity these days. Too often, men will treat men as objects and possessions and not as people.
The sheer power of commercialism has somehow seeped into relationships and it’s infecting the minds of lots of men. These men will go into relationships for the pure pleasure of the aesthetic experience. They will want to be with hot women for the love of sexual pleasure, but not really for love or companionship. There are numerous instances of women just being used by men as sexual objects. These women are deceived and are led to believe that they are caught in a genuine love affair even when they’re not. It will take a while for these ladies to realize that they are only victims or prey in the game of sexual scoring; and by then, it will be too late. The men will have had their fun and the women will have nothing good to show for it.
Not to say that casual sex is wrong. Of course there’s nothing wrong with having two adults engage in consensual sex with one another. It’s an innate carnal need in all human beings to engage in pleasure. What’s wrong in this equation is the deception factor. Men shouldn’t be manipulating and treating women as objects without feelings. Men shouldn’t be in the business of deceiving women and abusing their emotions for their own personal gain. However, the fact remains that there are a lot of shameless guys out there who just don’t care about the universal rules of human decency. There will be a lot of men who will deceive their women just to get them in the sack. And in the end, it’s only the woman who ends up feeling used, abused, and emotionally dejected.
That’s why it’s important for women to always stay vigilant. You have to make sure to guard your heart from these kinds of men. If the only kinds of relationships that you’re looking for are ones that are based on love, and not lust, then you have to stay away from these abusive men who only want sex. You have to be able to spot them out in the crowd and avoid them like the plague. So how do you know whether a man’s feelings are real? How do you know if all he wants is to have you in his bedroom? Well, there are some signs that you can be on the lookout for.
1. He rushes into saying that he loves you.
He wants you to believe that he’s being vulnerable to you so that you can be vulnerable to him in return. He wants to trick you into thinking that he has genuine feelings for you right off the bat even though he hasn’t had the proper time to let those feelings develop into something real at all. It’s all an act that he’s trying to put on just to get you in the sack.
2. He’s a little too touchy a little too early in the relationship.
You can tell just how much a man wants you sexually with how touchy he is. Ordinarily, at the start of the relationship, he would keep his hands to himself out of respect for any boundaries you may have. He would only be touching you if you expressed or let it be known that you’re okay with it.
3. He doesn’t make an effort to find out more about your life.
If he doesn’t express an interest beyond how you look, then it’s all about the aesthetics for him. He only finds you hot and he couldn’t care less about what your soul or personality is made of.
4. He doesn’t make any efforts to make his life better.
If a person were truly in love with you, he would be inspired to actually make himself a better man. If it seems like he’s still stuck where he was when you first started dating, then you can bet that he really isn’t as in love with you as you think. He doesn’t see a future in the relationship with you and that’s why he isn’t really trying too hard to make himself better.
5. He tells you that all he wants is sex.
At least he’s being honest, right? At least he’s not trying to deceive you or manipulate you into anything. He’s being upfront about his intentions with you and here’s where you have to make a decision. Are you open to this kind of casual relationship with him that is founded on lust and on sex? Or do you want something more? Only you have the answer to these questions.
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Have you been in this situation? What did you do about it? Talk to me in the comments below!