People who are married are likely to know that a marriage can go through some very serious rough patches every now and then. And whenever these rough patches take place early in a marriage, it can definitely be a cause for alarm. This isn’t something that you can just choose to gloss over in your relationship.
More and more research is done every day regarding the successes of marriage and the likelihood of divorce. And what the research shows us is that however a married couple weathers the storms that come within the first two years of their marriage can say a lot about their relationship.
1. The First Two Years Of A Marriage Can Often Determine Its Fate
Dr. Ted Hudston is a relationship expert from the University of Texas and he has provided some substantial commentary on the studies involving predictors of marital success and failure.
“This study showed that couples’ newlywed marriages and changes in their union over the first two years foreshadow their long-term marital fate after thirteen years – disillusionment—as reflected in an abatement of love, a decline in overt affection, a lessening of the conviction that one’s spouse is responsive, and an increase in ambivalence—distinguishes couples headed for divorce from those who establish a stable marital bond.”
The researchers of the study also found that “differences between the happily married and unhappily married groups were apparent right after they tied the knot.”
The study conducted by Hudston actually took a look at 156 couples who got married for the first time in 1981. And after 13 years, the researchers were able to come to the following realizations:
Out of the 156 couples who took part in the study, only 68 couples had remained happily married after 13 years. 32 couples were unhappy but remained married. And 56 couples had ended up in divorce.
The couples who ended up divorcing had already shown signs of disillusionment and had negative outlooks on the marriage even as early as the first two months of their marriage. It is a very big sign of trouble whenever a newlywed couple has disillusionment within the initial year of the marriage.
The couples who remained happily married were the ones who had very positive feelings about their spouse early on in the marriage.
2. The Issue Of The Honeymoon Crash
It’s perfectly normal to feel a slight depression right after your wedding day. It’s something that happens to a lot of married couples. They are called the honeymoon blues or the honeymoon crash.
A wedding is a big deal. You get so lost in all of the preparations that go into it. You are so excited and anxious for the day to come. The anticipation builds up all of this excitement inside of you. And finally, when the day comes and everything is carried into execution, you feel a sense of loss.
However, even though this kind of mild depression can be normal, it isn’t something that you should just ignore. You have to prepare for the honeymoon crash so that you are better equipped to move past them.
You need to be able to set the marital stage for your relationship. Based on the recommendations of Dr. Huston, newlyweds should always be doing whatever it takes to keep the romance and the passion in a relationship alive.
Of course, there are also going to be other priorities that a couple will need to concern themselves with. There are a lot of major goals that need to be accomplished within the first year of marriage.
Couples need to talk about financial management, chore assignment, sexual intimacy, social responsibility, conflict resolution, time management, expectation fulfillment, and so much more. However, the problem is that a lot of couples avoid topics that have a tendency to become intense and heated.
And when that’s the case, the relationship ends up suffering as a result. to do
3. These are some serious red flags in an early marriage:
- A lack of general romance, passion, and intimacy
- The inability to have a good time together
- Selfishness and conceitedness
- A deliberate avoidance of conflict
- A lack of respect
- A failure to prioritize the relationship above other aspects of life
- Financial mismanagement
- Sexual unfulfillment
- A failure to become independent from one’s parents
- Mental health issues
- Substance abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Physical abuse
4. How to Build the Foundation for a Strong Marriage
Yes, the first couple of years in the marriage might be the most difficult. But they also have the potential to be remembered as the most joyous parts as well. They can be a great time for enhancing your intimacy and your connection with one another. You still have so much you have to learn about each other.
There are so many experiences that you can share as a couple. It’s during the newlywed stage of a marriage wherein the two of you are really able to build a strong foundation on which you can have a long-lasting romance with your life partner.