What exactly does a happy couple look like? We live in a very fast-paced world nowadays, and that means that so much of our time is being consumed on a vast array of endeavors and activities. How much time can we really dedicate to propagating a healthy and happy relationship environment for ourselves? Is it even possible to do so nowadays? Of course, it is.
There are so many healthy and happy couples out there who are mature enough to understand that happiness isn’t something that just comes naturally in a relationship. It’s something that you work hard and make an effort for. It’s something that you really have to commit yourselves to as a couple.
These couples are the ones who understand that they only have so much time in the day, and so whatever they do for one another must always have a sense of structure and purpose.
So even something as simple as having some pre-bedtime habits and rituals as a couple can go a really long way in strengthening the love and intimacy that you have for one another. Yes, you only ever really spend a few minutes together as you’re getting ready for bed.
But those few minutes that you spend with one another when practiced religiously throughout the course of your time together, can really go a long way. As has been previously mentioned. You want to be making the most of whatever time you might have together as a couple. And that includes the night time. Here are some healthy habits that the happiest and strongest couples practice just before bedtime
1. Leave all worries and stresses about work outside of the bedroom.
Studies have shown that couples who don’t talk about their stressful individual lives while within the confines of the bedroom are proven to use that time to get closer and be more intimate with one another. And it makes sense. While you should always be able to rely on your partner to give you emotional support, at least keep all of your stresses away from your bedroom. Your bedroom should only be a place for love and positivity.
2. Come to a resolution on any lingering conflicts or arguments you might have.
It’s true when they say that you should never go to sleep harboring ill feelings for one another. You always have to make it a point to come to a compromise, or to meet each other halfway on an issue that you might have been arguing over throughout the course of the day. You don’t want to let those negative feelings linger on for too long.
3. Keep all distractions at a minimum.
Turn off the TV. Put those cellphones on silent mode. Just focus on each other. Be in each other’s company and be fully present in the moment.
4. Go to bed at the same time.
It’s always nice to go to sleep together with someone else. There are a certain comfort and intimacy that comes with being able to fall asleep with the person you love most in the world. So as much as possible, synchronize your schedules in ways that allow you to go to sleep together every night.
5. Give compliments to one another.
Again, the bedroom should always be a sanctuary for love, romance, and positivity. So don’t be afraid to throw each other compliments to serve as your pillow talk. Make it a regular practice. Remind yourselves of why you’re just so in love with your partner. And let your partner know that you are always attracted to them.
6. Develop a bedtime routine that the two of you can follow religiously.
That routine can be anything – so as long as you make it your own. It gives both of you something to look forward to every night. And you also get a chance to bond just before you drift off into your slumber.
7. Have deep and intimate talks with one another.
Sometimes, the bedroom is the one place where both of you can feel most secure. And in that spirit, don’t be afraid to really go deep with your conversations. Really put everything out there. Allow yourselves to be vulnerable in your safe space.
8. Just cuddle with one another without having to say anything.
Physical intimacy can do wonders for emotional intimacy. The bedroom doesn’t always have to be a place of excitement. Even something as simple as cuddling your partner as you lay in bed together can be really good for your love.
9. Avoid having any disagreements or arguments before you go to sleep.
Just avoid any points of conflict during your pre-bedtime conversations. Any confrontational or controversial topics can wait until the morning.
10. Refrain from smoking or drinking in the bedroom.
Science has proven that taking in nicotine or alcohol just before you sleep can disrupt your sleeping patterns. If you’re looking to have a long and good sleep at night, then you better lay off the cigarettes and alcohol for a bit.
I totally agree! Unfortunately, oast partners would not accept ir respect those long proven boundaries.
Seems sensible observations and advice.
Excellent article, I honestly belive a lot of relationships and marriages fail due to couples not putting the required amount of effort into making the type of relationship that’s worth fighting for and worth making last and I do think the older generations had far more enjoyable, solid, love filled happy relationship and marriages because real deep connections and bonds were forged through spending time talking with each other being in the moment with each other paying attention to each other and not being distracted by the TV, their phone, lap top ect so many have become addicted to games on the phone, scrolling social media ect that the enery and effort to connect with the person on the room beside them has become just that EFFORT obviously a couple don’t always have to be talking or having deep and meaningful conversations 24/7 keep that for the bedroom and pillow talk time it’s a lovely idea to make the bedroom that special place for love and romance, of course romance if kept alive that’s going to keep the relationship alive too, I honestly think so many relationships and marriages fail because all the above is not adhered to, I think if both couples were given the above as a manual to a long and lasting very happy love filled relationship and they lived by it divorce rates would decrease and there would be a lot more happy couples and a lot less people on dating sites going from one bad short lived encounter to the next making all the same mistakes over and over no change or improvements made on how to maintain a happy relationship.
Thank you for writing such a super piece I am going to share it with my almost 18yr old son.