Relationships are rarely ever easy. In fact, for the most part, they can really be a big pain in the butt. But it’s always different whenever you are fortunate enough to be with someone who you truly love. They always make it seem like all of the difficulties and challenges are worth it. And that’s something that all of the best and strongest relationships recognize – the challenges are never going to go away. It’s just a matter of being with someone who you know you would be able to overcome all of the difficulties with.
The earliest stages of the relationship are always seen as the fun parts – the honeymoon period. Some people say that this is where couples get to really enjoy and have fun with one another because the problems and the reality of the situation won’t really sink in until later on. But what most people don’t realize is that you should always stay mindful of the way that you conduct yourself in your relationship even if it is still in the honeymoon stage.
Sure, it might feel like everything is still perfect in your relationship but that’s mostly just due to your rose-colored lenses. You’re just not seeing the ways in which the two of you might potentially be killing your relationship even if you’re just starting out. And that’s always a bad thing. You always want to be maintaining a sense of self-awareness in your relationship – especially in the early parts.
If you find yourself being guilty of the following things, then you might want to make a change in the way that you conduct yourself in early relationships.
1. You are too open and transparent.
Always make sure that you don’t give him too much information right away. For one, it’s going to be information overload on his part and he might get overwhelmed. And two, you take away the allure of mystery. Give him a reason to keep on chasing after you.
2. You play too hard to get.
But just because he loves the chase doesn’t mean that you should be playing hard to get. A man is always going to want to be with a woman who responds to his efforts and his advances. Don’t be acting like you’re uninterested in being with him.
3. You text him every chance you can get.
Yes, it can be very tempting to text him all day when things are just starting out. But you don’t want to be disregarding the other aspects of your life just so you can text him. Also, save some topics for when you actually converse with one another for real.
4. You try to control the whole situation.
Never try to be too controlling of the situation. There are very few things in the world that would make a man run away faster than having a woman try and control him to be a certain way.
5. You don’t take the time to see him.
You must always make it a point to carve time out from your schedule to see him. It can’t just always be him who makes the adjustments and the effort in the relationship. You have to show initiative and a willingness to adjust as well.
6. You shy away from defining the relationship.
Whenever he’s ready to define the relationship, you need to be able to have that talk with him. If you keep putting it off, then you risk losing him altogether.
7. You fail to respect boundaries.
This should be pretty self-explanatory. You always want to make sure that you stay respectful of him, his boundaries, and his dignity if you want to keep him in your life.
8. You get other people involved in your relationship.
You never want to be sharing what you have with other people right away. When things are fresh and new in the relationship, just keep it for yourselves. Keep things intimate. Only once you have built on that intimacy can you start gradually sharing it with others.
9. You take the positive gestures and traits for granted.
One thing that you would never want to do at any stage of your relationship takes your partner for granted. You always want to make sure that they know just how appreciative you can be for everything that they are and do.
10. You rush through the early stages of the relationship.
And of course, you never want to be rushing through the stages in your relationship. Love is a process. And it’s definitely going to take substantial time before love is actually built up to be something strong and real. You can’t have perfect love in just a matter of days.
Remember that when you’re just starting out, you are essentially setting up the foundations and pillars on which the two of you can build your relationship. That is why you don’t want to be guilty of committing any mistakes or bad habits so early on. You always want to be policing your own behavior if you want what is best for the relationship.
You forgot…. you sleep with him too quickly! Way to many women do this and think it will secure the relationship. Why would a man want the broccoli if they already had the cherry! Sex does not build the foundation. It deepens it when the foundation is already there.
HahahahahHhH
Not true…if a man is ready to commit that doesn’t matter….at all.
Seemed to forget cheating, kinda a huge deal breaker for most guys……..
We didn’t talk about a relationship he just assumed that’s what I wanted when I explained that I wasn’t into a relationship. I have been single and on my own for over 20 years and jumping into a relationship was not on my agenda. He needed to give me time, well that went over really well cause now he doesn’t want to see me
I hels my man down for 4 years in prison in the beginning of our relationship, Which was a HUGE sacrifice on my end. Thousands of dollars later, making sure he ate good, making sure he had money on his books ALWAYS, writing him novels (like 40-50 page letters, which he absolutely loved) even though we talked on the phone all day every day, LITERALLY. From time he woke up til time they cut the phones off at 9 pm we talked. I drove 5 1/2 hours one way to go visit him for 6 hours Fri, then again Saturday then Sunday. If his pod had visiting that week I’d stay in hotel and see him again 6 hours Tuesday and 6 hours Thursday before drivijg 5 1/2 hours back home. I picked him up when he finally got out. I was already ao in love with him, he was literally the best man I had ever been with, literally. I never had felt so loved, so cared for and so protected until I met my baby. I love him still to this day almost 7 years later more than anything in this world besides my son of course. But bout 6 months after getting out of prison he relapsed on meth and became the DEVIL. He beat my ass every day for nothing, I can honestly say not one time he beat my ass did I do what he was accusing me of which really has me so mentally n emotionally fucked. I’m so broken over this, because not once dis he apologize either, but if Ibring up him hurting me or whopping my ass he unleashes this mean, paranoid side it’s not worth it. He even left me for a bitch that lived in the complex we lived at which only lasted 3 months because he was the devil to her and still in love with me. but you dont love someone that you can hurt physically, emotionally and mentally.No I’m not perfect but I can honestly say even him cheating leaving me those few months, I have REMAINed faithful and loyal to him, I have not been with no other man. he thinks I’ve been WITh every man alive and don’t ever believe my truth while he’s high. I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks and last night I had to find him to get my debit card and he was in her car and acting like he’s all that I know he’s upset I didn’t see him on his birthday or last three weeks automatically in his head I’ve been with some nigga when truly I’ve not been with any dude just myself or my homegirl n her man. why did he do all this to me when I’ve been so good to him, always putting him first, taking care of him giving him 900-1300$ every time I get paid, I give him my last just to make him happy, for what to walk around with black eyes for three months, never to hear a I’m sorry. but I can’t let him go, I’m so in love with him. I love this man with all my heart. he says he loves me. but he don’t show it. he got my name and my lips on his neck tatted in prison and so I got his. for what though. ugh why is he doing this to me? what. did I do wrong?
Leslie Burgeson…I work at a jail, I watch the videos, read the mail etc..trust me when I say, they say whatever they can, to whomever they can, to get what they want while they are in jail/prison. they even teach each other how to do it, if one gets found out, they pass the girl over to another friend that starts with hey I know he never treated you right and it’s messed up, I would never do that to a girl as fine as you…and they proceed to use them. sometimes just one girl sometimes multiple girls. trust me when I say the guy he is that beats you is the real him, no love is gonna fix that. walk away now before he kills you. he is a user first and foremost. I see the aftermath of when they get busted again, the girls that are crying etc trying to take care of him yet again because she lives him, and he again is sorry, but only cuz he knows she can be used…quit giving him money, quit letting him hurt you, he does not love you it is just a word,he does not respect you…honey none of this is love!! move with your next paycheck and get a life where you can love yourself.