Let’s bust the dating myths.
There is just so much pressure on people to succeed at dating. Well, it’s understandable in the sense that dating could potentially lead to two people spending the rest of their lives together. But that also means that people have a tendency to oversimplify the dating phenomenon by attaching rules and guidelines to it. While yes, it can be good to have some structure in your approach to dating, that doesn’t mean that you can create a general blueprint for success in your dating life. Remember that all human beings are inherently different and not everyone’s reactions and preferences could ever be generalized.
It’s always going to be a case-to-case approach to dating, and a lot of times, you are just going to have to learn as you go. You are going to get a better understanding of things the more experienced you become, but you still won’t get all the answers upfront. That’s why it’s foolish to uncompromisingly go about dating with an unbreakable set of rules. And there are even some rules out there that are just plain myths that you shouldn’t have to give much mind to. Here are 10 dating rules that are actually myths.
1. You should always wear make-up and fancy clothes to impress someone.
You really don’t. While it can be good to pretty yourself up and make yourself presentable to someone when you’re dating, it’s not an absolute necessity. Sure, getting all dolled up can be good for grabbing a person’s attention. But once you have their attention, it’s all about your personality from then on out.
2. You should watch what you eat on your dates.
No. You don’t have to order a salad every time you’re out on a date. If you feel like having a cheeseburger with a side of fries and a large Coke, then go ahead and have that. If you truly had a real emotional connection, then it shouldn’t matter what either of you eat on a date.
3. You should always let your partner think that you are independent and/or weak.
It isn’t true that you constantly have to present yourself as a strong individual just to earn the respect of the person you’re dating. It isn’t true that you have to dumb yourself down and make yourself weak so you don’t threaten their sense of pride. Just be yourself. Get your tasks done on your own, and ask for help when you need it.
4. You should have to put a pause on your career if you want to date.
Love and career shouldn’t have to be mutually exclusive things in life. You can have a flourishing romantic life with someone while still staying competitive in your job. You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. You just have to be adaptable and mature about it.
5. There are some conversations that you shouldn’t be having.
There are no conversations that you shouldn’t be having. Remember that when you’re dating, you are really getting to know one another. You can’t possibly get to know one another well if you keep on avoiding inconvenient and uncomfortable conversations with each other. You have to be ready to discuss anything.
6. You shouldn’t let them know just how much you miss them.
If you miss them, then you shouldn’t be ashamed about letting them know it. There’s no point in trying to act cold and indifferent. There’s something very endearing about just allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone. You don’t have to fake your hardness.
7. You should be concerned whenever they ask for space.
Sometimes, a person just wants to be alone because of who they are and it’s not necessarily your fault. So if your partner wants some time and space without you, let them have it. You aren’t the boss of their life. Once they’re ready, they’ll come back to you.
8. You should always use sex as a tool for intimacy.
Sex should never be used as a tool in any relationship whatsoever. It should never be a means to an end. Sex should always be an end in itself. To use sex as something in part of a bigger agenda only compromises the integrity and the sanctity of the experience. It would be disrespectful to have sex with someone while carrying ulterior motives.
9. You shouldn’t be openly honest all the time.
You should always be honest with one another. There is no point in hiding your true selves from each other. The whole concept of dating lies in two people who are allowing themselves to connect and share their lives together. If you close yourself off, it only becomes counterproductive.
10. You should play hard to get.
You shouldn’t play hard to get. Be real with your feelings. Don’t make anyone chase after you just for the sake of the chase. Confront your feelings and just be real about them. Be honest and always stay genuine. People don’t like those who are fake.
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