A lot of us will make the mistake of thinking that we’re destined to gain the kind of love that we see on the movies and television screens. We think that that we’re all entitled to the fairytale endings that we have read about in books and novels. But real life doesn’t always work that way. Real life doesn’t always give us what we want.
We have to be able to understand that real-life romantic relationships are rarely ever like we see in the movies. We’re not going to have perfect narratives as if written by the world’s best authors. You have to stop expecting to gain a fairytale romance because you’re always going to end up disappointed that way. You have to accept the fact that real-life love is very much different from fantasy love – it’s so much better and so much worse all at the same time.
You aren’t going to end up with a “perfect” partner in a perfect relationship where nothing goes wrong. But part of what makes love so beautiful is that it is imperfect. And the sooner you realize that, the better your perspective on life and love becomes. It gets to a point in life where you just really have to grow up and understand that real love – the love that you are desperately searching for is flawed.
But knowing that love is flawed doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be working hard to make it as flawless as possible. There are certain keys that you need to keep in mind if you want to maintain a strong and intimate relationship with your partner.
You have to note that the longer that you stay together, the more difficult it will be to sustain your love and romance in the relationship. You will be posed with great challenges that will really test the strength of your love – and you have to make sure that you’re ready for it. Otherwise, you risk losing a very special love.
1. Let your relationship teach you about the importance of being able to complete yourself.
You have to already have a sense of identity that is independent from your relationship. Your sense of fulfilment and self-worth can’t be tied to whether you are in a relationship or not. You have to be able to complete yourself.
2. Don’t idealize or romanticize who your partner really is.
See your partner for who they really are. Don’t be idealizing them in your head. Accept that you are in a relationship with a flawed individual who has imperfections and blemishes. Don’t turn a blind eye to each other’s flaws – and love one another in a genuine way.
3. Always keep an open mind and express a willingness to learn from one another.
Never shut the other off. Always express a willingness to learn and grow with one another. Always be willing to learn from each other.
4. Be okay with being alone every once in a while.
You can’t afford to be needy and clingy in your relationship if you want to have a healthy romance. Learn to be okay with solitude and isolation every once in a while. Get over your fears of being alone – and nothing will hold you back from really enjoying your love.
5. Handle fights and arguments in a mature manner.
Keep things mature. Don’t say anything that you will end up regretting. Always keep your emotions in check and be smart about handling your disagreements.
6. Be who you really are at all times.
Always portray your true and authentic self at all times. You should never have to feel like you have to be someone you’re not when you’re in a happy and healthy relationship. You can’t deceive your partner by refusing to be who you really are.
7. Accept the fact that relationships aren’t always going to be fireworks and thrills.
Be okay with the fact that a bulk of the time, it’s going to feel very ordinary and simple. And that’s okay. Relationships aren’t always going to be rollercoaster rides after all. Stability is good.
8. Practice kindness always.
Kindness can really go a long way in all sorts of social situations. So even when you’re fuming and you’re incredibly upset about something, always try to treat your partner with utmost kindness and respect.
9. Never be withholding of the love that you have.
Don’t withhold love. Whatever love you have to give to your partner is love that must be given. Let it flow.
10. Learn to detach yourself from expectations.
It’s okay to have expectations in your relationship – but gradually, over the course of time, you will come to learn that the less expectations you have for each other, the more room there is for your love to grow and prosper. Remember that attachment is the exact opposite of love. And true love is only ever manifested when we are able to love a person without attaching ourselves to them.
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