10 Lessons You Need To Learn As A Single Person Who Wants A Relationship
If you’re single, you need to read this.
1. It’s more important for you to love yourself first before you accept love from another person.
Not to say that no one will ever love you unless you love yourself first. It’s perfectly possible for another person to love you and help you realize how much you love yourself as well. But that’s not the point. The point here is that it’s much more important for you to focus on loving yourself than it is for you to rely on the love of another person. You can’t place your sense of fulfilment and joy on whether someone else loves you or not. You have to be able to rely on the love that you give yourself first.
2. You don’t have to put so much pressure on every single person you date.
Approach dating casually and manage your expectations effectively. The truth is that the chances that you are actually dating the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with are very slim. So just take things as they come. Don’t be cynical, but don’t be blindly optimistic either.
3. Don’t treat the people you date like personal projects that you can mold and manipulate to your liking.
When you date someone, it can be difficult for you to not have overblown expectations about everything. But it’s very important for you to stay realistic and reasonable. You are dating a human being, not an idea. And while you may have plenty ideas of what your perfect partner may look like, reality has a way of knocking you back to the ground. So stay grounded. Keep your expectations realistic. And stop trying to change your partner into the idealized versions that you have of them in your head.
4. Don’t think that you can find relationship success by employing the same bad habits.
Don’t be afraid to change and evolve. Learn from your mistakes and grow from them. You can’t be employing the same techniques while expecting different results.
5. Embrace the free time that you have as a single person.
When you get into a relationship with someone, you will be forced to share a whole bunch of what makes up your life to this person. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, you have to realize that you are going to be giving up a lot of the freedom that you enjoy as a single person. So while you’re still single, enjoy the selfishness that you’re allowed to have for yourself. Live your life selfishly and use all of your extra time to do great things.
6. Don’t fight to keep people in your life if they don’t even deserve to be there.
You can only accommodate so many special people in your life. And if you keep allotting space in your heart for the wrong people, then you’re not giving the right people the chance to love you the way that you deserve to be loved. So that’s why it’s important for you to realize that it’s okay to drop the people who add no value to your life. You just have to make room for the people who actually matter.
7. Learn to take things gradually in your relationship.
You can never force things if it’s not the proper time yet. You can never rush through the necessary phases of your relationship if you want things to turn out right. Yes, you want to fall in love the way that you see it in the movies. But you have to be able to separate fiction from reality. You don’t have to force things in a relationship. You have to let things take their natural course.
8. Love and lust are two very different things.
Make that distinction. You are after someone who will want to love you and shower you with affection. You aren’t after someone who wants to use you for the physical pleasures that you can provide them.
9. True love isn’t achieved in one day.
Love at first sight isn’t real. And you have to get that through your head right now. Yes, it’s possible for you to be smitten by someone when you first see them. But to say that you gain the kind of true love that a lot of happy couples have in just a matter of seconds is totally naГЇve. True love isn’t achieved in a matter of seconds. It isn’t even achieved in a day, a week, or maybe even a month. True love really takes time to reveal itself and once it does, you know for sure that you’re doing things right.
10. Stick to your own pace and personal timeline.
Just because your friends are getting married and engaged left and right doesn’t mean that you have to be as well. Everyone has to march to the beat of their own drums. Just keep on doing you. Move at your own pace. Don’t pressure yourself to fall in love just because everyone around you is doing the same.
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