Not gonna lie, sometimes it feels impossible to tell if someone’s into you or just being polite.
It’s like… you’re talking, joking, sharing memes maybe, and still, there’s this feeling like you’re orbiting, never landing. No clear signs. No green lights. Just vibes, and uncertainty.
But I’ve been down this rabbit hole of psychology tricks and let me tell you, some of it actually helps. Like, not in a manipulative way, just… ways to connect better. To be seen more fully. To show up as someone she could really feel something with.
So. Here’s what I’ve learned, in no particular order, in the most human way I can pour it out:
1. Mirror her energy
Seriously. People like people who feel familiar. Not to the point of copying, that’s weird — but watch how she talks, how she sits, her pace. If she’s animated, don’t stay stone-faced. If she’s calm, don’t shout over her. It’s about harmony, not pretending.
2. Use her name
Feels small, right? But there’s something personal, something reflexively warm about hearing your own name. Like, “I see you.” Not just “hey” or “dude” — her actual name. Sparingly. Genuinely.
3. Eye contact, but the good kind
Not intense, not creepy. Just soft, steady, curious. Look at her like you actually care what she’s saying, not like you’re waiting for your turn to talk. Trust me, that lands.
4. Ask her why, not just what
“What do you do?” is a job interview. “Why’d you choose that?” gets human. It shows you wanna know her story, what moves her — not her resume. That shift? Wildly underrated.
Nothing crazy. Just like, “I used to write poetry in high school and hide it in my sock drawer,” kinda stuff. Vulnerability makes people feel safe to open up too. And suddenly, you’re not strangers anymore.
6. Find tiny ways to be useful
Not in a white-knighty way. Just like, “Hey, here’s that playlist you mentioned,” or “I found that snack you said you missed.” Small acts, big impact. Memory + thoughtfulness = she feels seen.
7. Laugh when she laughs
Even if the joke’s mid. It’s about connection, not comedy. Think about it — we lean into people who match our moods. Who hold our moments with us. Laughter’s like glue sometimes.
8. Talk about emotions, not just facts
It’s scary, I know. But saying “that kinda hurt” or “I actually felt proud” hits different than just stating events. It gives people something real to hold onto. Something true.
9. Be okay with silence
You know those moments where no one speaks but it’s not awkward? That’s rare. If you can sit in that with her, without rushing to fill it — that’s trust. That’s something.
10. Look at her like she’s magic
You can’t fake this one. But if you mean it, if she makes your brain spark or your chest ache a little or your heart just, I don’t know, stretch, and you let that soften your eyes? She’ll feel it. We all feel it when someone sees us like that.
And yeah… none of these guarantee love. That’s the whole thing.
But they matter. They’re little ways of showing up… realer, warmer, more open.
So maybe it’s not about “getting her to like you,” but letting her see you — the version of you that actually gives a damn.
The rest kinda happens. Or it doesn’t. But it’s better that way.
You don’t wanna win someone with a trick.
You want them to choose you with their whole heart, not just their curiosity.
