“Why do you consider your best friend to be your best friend?”
A lot of people are going to scoff at the idea of Emotional Intelligence or EQ. It most usually takes a backseat to standardized tests that measure a person’s IQ levels in schools and other academic settings. While having a high IQ is very important to make it big in this world, having a strong EQ is just as important. A person’s EQ is directly tied into a person’s ability to analyze, reflect on, and understand one’s feelings and emotions. A person with a strong EQ is also likely able to understand and read another individual’s mood at any given time which makes it easier for them to get along. A strong EQ is also a good indicator for having an open mind, empathy, and sensitivity.
So if you are in the market for a boyfriend, it’s not enough that you pursue someone who is smart and intelligent. It’s good if he’s ambitious and goal-oriented. But it’s also just as good if he is emotionally intelligent as well. He has to be able to espouse the kind of emotional maturity and poise that you need to really sustain a relationship. So make sure to always add emotional intelligence to the list of standards which you hold all potential boyfriends to.
But how do you know if a person is emotionally intelligent? It’s not like you can compel them to take standardized tests to accurately measure their emotional intelligence. Fortunately, there are some signs that you can be on the lookout for that can help you determine if they are emotionally intelligent or not. Here are a few guide questions that you can ask your potential boyfriend and his answers are going to tell you if he has a strong EQ.
1. Why do you consider your best friend to be your best friend?
Be very observant of how he chooses to go about answering this question. A man who is deeply in touch with his relationships to other people will be able to answer this question without hesitation. If he finds it difficult, then maybe he has low EQ.
2. Where did you think you lacked in your previous relationship and what could you have done to make things better?
This is another question that really tests a person’s skills in analyzing a relationship and the dynamics that two people share with one another. If he is able to confidently tell you where things went wrong and how he could have made things better, then that’s a good sign.
3. What life changes have you gone through since you were last in a relationship?
Any emotionally intelligent man will always take a major life setback or tragedy and use it as a reference point for him to learn from. If he tells you that he is essentially the same guy since his last relationship, then it may mean that he has minimal potential for growth and development as a person.
4. What makes you cry and how often do you let those tears flow?
Crying is such a taboo thing for men. A lot of men will falsely believe that they shouldn’t be crying because it signifies weakness. But an emotionally intelligent man knows that crying is a healthy way to cope with emotional stress and trauma.
5. What do you look for in a girlfriend?
An emotionally intelligent man will always know what to look for in a potential girlfriend and in a relationship. Men who seem like they are lost and unsure of what they want are likely to be ones who lack substantial EQ.
6. What is your stance on non-committal and open relationships?
A man who knows how to answer taboo questions like these are emotionally intelligent men. It doesn’t matter what answer he’s going to give or what stance he has on this issue. It only matters how he chooses to approach this question.
7. What kind of high school kid were you?
A good way to get to know where a man is currently at in life is to take a look at his past. If he is able to tell you what he was like in his youth, then that shows that he is a deep and reflective person who knows where never forgot where he came from.
8. What are the things that you fear most in this world?
An emotionally intelligent man will always be fully aware of his fears and limitations. He should be willing to come to terms with the fact that he is imperfect and that he has limits. A man who ignores his fears is likely someone who isn’t emotionally strong.
9. What was the most difficult day in your life?
This is a great question to ask because it gives you a good idea of what a difficult day for him looks like. It will also give you a good idea of what he’s like whenever he is faced with challenging situations.
10. What legacy are you looking to leave behind in this world.
Lastly, you have to ask him about his dreams and his goals. An emotional man will care deeply about the impact that he has on other peoples’ lives and that’s why this question is going to be very important in determining his emotional intelligence.
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