Words to live by.
If only people came with a rule book of relationships, life would be so much easier and happier!
I guess we all have to go through the ups and downs of a relationship to be able to learn some great lessons. The ones who take it like a sport, take it positively and work on them, succeed. Others, who lose hope too quickly, lose their partners as well.
I am no expert, but I have faced many things in the relationships I have faced and have learned some amazing lessons and, honestly, I couldn’t have understood these lessons if they wouldn’t have happened to me. So, yes! Somewhere in my heart, I am glad I went through hell so I could cherish and truly embrace the peace and love I have in my life now.
I am sure a lot of you are going through that hard time as well and that is the way to give you hope and a possible solution to your relationship, here is the gold I have earned from all the heartache and heart breaks.
1. Be consistent and constant in your effort to appreciate your partner
No one likes to stay in a relationship where they don’t feel needed or appreciated. It is important that you continuously make an effort to make your partner feel special. As the relationship grows older, we think to ourselves that we have done enough to prove our love to our partners, but remember, it isn’t about performing one big stunt, it is about being consistent with small efforts!
Consistency is the key to any and every relationship. Treasure every moment you spend with them. If you genuinely feel this way, it will start to show through your actions.
2. Strike A Balance, you both are equals
Throwing yourself at someone’s feet will get you nowhere with them. Or expecting them to do the same for you will end up you being alone, sooner or later. Do not learn this lesson too late in you relationship. This one leaves you broken. Either it will make you regret the way you completely gave yourself away to someone or it will make you regret your ego and your arrogance.
You can’t put either one of you in second place all the time. Soon, one of you will be the only one trying to make things work till you cannot anymore. Don’t reach that point because from then onwards, the only way to survive is to part ways.
3. Stop working against each other, start working together, towards something
Unnecessary criticism, taunts and fights spell ‘breakup!’. Take all of that energy, that you would waste otherwise, and put it to a good use. Save the taunts and criticism and try and understand your partner’s point of you.
Be constructive and less sarcastic, which we all tend to get when faced with something utterly despicable. Make your partner feel comfortable so they know you both are on one side. Talk it out, don’t scream and don hurt each other’s egos.
4. Your past might hurt but your love is greater than that
It is a common problem of a relationship, we all get jealous, super-insecure and often jealous of our partner’s exes. Stop involving your pasts in every fight you both have. They tend to cause many more misunderstandings. Don’t forget that you met them this way, only. You had the option to continue or to let them go, if you chose to continue it then you are responsible for not eliminating it from your own thoughts.
We forget that we all have baggage, we all have a past and we all have to let go of it to be able to love freely. Your relationship is going nowhere if you can’t let your partner’s past go.
5. Forgiving is a favor you can do to yourself
Don’t hold grudges and don’t let all that anger and hate destroy the love you both have worked so hard for. Let go and forgive things. Trust me, opening your heart and forgiving someone will only make you happier.
Sometimes people make mistakes that they don’t mean to. Sometimes they don’t realize the effect of their action, they don’t realize their actions will hurt you so much. Sometimes, they are just down right stupid. But that’s called being human. We all make mistakes and in the end, if you really see them learning a lesson, forgive them and accept them, if you can.
6. No relationship is perfect
I can’t stress on this enough, some people think relationships are supposed to just be happy, not true! A relationship isn’t true unless it has its fair share of ups and downs. If you’re too happy in your relationship and you guys don’t argue at all, something is wrong and you need to find out what it is.
No two people can stay together without having a few disagreements every now and then, you aren’t your partner’s clone, you two are different individuals and you both have different mindsets, this difference is what makes the relationship so beautiful and real.
7. Hope is your best friend
No matter how bad it seems, DO NOT give up hope. Hope is all we have, it’s what we live for and it’s what drives us towards happiness and stability. Without hope, we wouldn’t get too far ahead in life, we would just be stranded on an island of sorrow and heartbreak.
If it seems like you’re going through an insanely difficult time in your relationship, keep the hope going strong. Hold on to it as firmly as you can and see it through, see through the rough times together. The happiest of couples are those who have seen a tremendous amount of bad times together and still managed to smile in the end, together.
8. To err is human
We are all human, we make mistakes. What sets us apart from the bad people is how we own up to our mistakes and make up for our mistakes. If your partner makes a mistake and is genuinely sorry for it, you need to understand that it’s okay and they have learned their lesson.
You need to put yourself in their shoes and realize the fact that even you aren’t immune to making mistakes, you too shall make mistakes in your life. Forgive and forget, it’s how we grow as individuals and it’s how we make our relationships stronger.
9. Second chances aren’t for everyone
I used to be a firm believer in second chances. Until my last relationship happened. My ex cheated on me and it was horrible, HORRIBLE! I was broken for a few months and I kept thinking about my life’s choices. But she kept on apologizing to me and she kept asking me for another chance. I loved her so insanely that I gave her that chance. She broke my trust (along with my heart) but I was willing to give her another chance, to make up for what she did.
We were going fine, none of us were talking about what happened. Three months later, I found out that she was cheating on me again, all that time. The pain I felt during that moment was something I can never describe in words.
Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t give anyone second chances, just be very careful.
10. Personal space is equally important
I’ve been seeing a lot of “young relationships” nowadays. People who like to snoop in each other’s phones as if it was okay to do that. I have one question for those people, “have you ever heard of something called personal space?”. I mean, come on. Be a little mature. Keeping an eye on your partner will only make them not trust you in return, you’re not staying safe by keeping an eye on their actions or by asking them about every single detail of their day.
Personal space is very important for everyone and it also adds a LOT of trust to the relationship. I love my girlfriend more than anything, but we both still have our “me time” where we hang out with friends or indulge in hobbies where we don’t bother each other. Personal space plays a vital role in keeping people sane, keeping them stay in touch with their inner selves and it also makes the relationship THAT much stronger!
Talk to me
Is there anything you’d like to add to this? Let me know in the comments below. What’s your take on relationship truths?
