When you’re young and in love with someone, is there really anything better in the world? You’re in a relationship with someone you’re helplessly in love with; and hopefully, this person loves you in return. And ideally, your relationship empowers you and makes you both better individuals overall.
However, not all relationships exist in ideal states. There are just some relationships that prey on insecurities and highlight vulnerabilities. There are just some relationships with environments so toxic that they can often break the people in them.
It’s very unfortunate, but the truth is that there are just so many relationships that destroy our self-esteem. Instead of giving us the courage and bravery to pursue a happy and healthy life, we are left devoid of confidence because the relationship has completely stripped us bare.
When you know that your relationship is just killing your self-esteem, it is highly likely that your partner is to blame. He’s probably the culprit. He could be acting and behaving in such a way that just diminishes your self-belief. But there is also a chance that it isn’t his fault; that maybe you just have a weak personality and that your self-esteem is continually diminishing because you have done nothing to correct it.
But how do you know exactly if your partner is in fact the one who is destroying your self-esteem? It’s important for you to know because you need to take action. You can’t allow yourself to become a doormat that always gets stepped on. You need to stand up for yourself. You need to fight for what you want but you first need to believe that you are worthy of those things. And you won’t be able to do that if you have an extremely lowered sense of self-esteem.
1. He doesn’t do anything to make you feel important.
He really doesn’t go all out for you the way that a genuine partner should in a relationship. He doesn’t make an effort to make you feel like you matter to him at all. He doesn’t do anything special for you to make you feel special to him.
2. He takes full control and calls all the shots in the relationship.
He doesn’t make you feel like he trusts you. He wants to steer the ship of the relationship all of the time. He doesn’t want to relinquish control because he doesn’t think you have what it takes to be a leader.
3. He never makes you feel like he understands you.
It’s like you are talking different languages with him. He just never does or says anything to make you feel like you are operating on the same wavelengths. And as a result, he makes you feel like your thoughts and opinions are invalid. He makes you feel like you should just keep quiet because no one is going to understand you anyway.
4. He is always stirring up the drama pot.
He likes to stir up drama; and by doing so, he creates an environment of anxiety and worry all the time. He always likes to create something out of nothing. He likes to blow little things out of proportion just to keep you on your toes.
5. He makes you feel less than you really are.
He badmouths you. He doesn’t treat you like an equal. He is always belittling you. He is treating you like someone who is beneath him; as if you aren’t worthy of his time or attention. He doesn’t see you as a partner at all. He makes you feel like a burden.
6. He gives you the sense that his love for you comes with conditions.
He makes you feel like he’s going to leave you at a moment’s notice. He makes you feel like you want to walk on eggshells because even the slightest mistake will lead to him abandoning you. It’s as if his presence in your life comes with strict conditions.
7. You become tempted to test how much you mean to him.
You really don’t know how much you mean to him because he never does or says anything about it. And so you are constantly tempted to test out just how much he really means to you.
8. He criticizes you too much.
There should always be room for criticism in a relationship; but it should always be done in a tasteful and graceful manner. And it must always come from a place of love. Otherwise, the criticism is just counterproductive and hurtful. It’s only designed to cause pain.
9. Whenever something goes wrong, you automatically assume that you are to blame.
You just think that whenever a screw-up is involved in the relationship, it’s always your fault. You think that lowly of yourself – as if you’re incapable of doing anything right.
10. You feel like being unhappy in this relationship is something you need to settle for.
You should never have to settle for a love. You should never have to settle for an unhappy relationship. You must always believe that you are worthy of finding a love that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. You need to demand the love that you think you deserve.
Talk to me
Have you been through this? Talk to me in the comments below!