Equal effort.
In an ideal world, the person you love would also love you in the ways that you love them. However, we live in a world that is far from ideal. We live in reality and well, reality has other plans for us a lot of the time. There is no denying that balance is always going to be a very important aspect of any relationship. No relationship is ever going to survive if one person is giving substantially much more than the other as far as love and care are concerned. And when that happens, the relationship tends to become dysfunctional because of the imbalance. And so that’s why it’s important for you to always make sure that you don’t get stuck in this kind of relationship.
But how do you know for sure? Well, here are a few signs that you could be on the lookout for.
1. You are the one who is putting in all of the effort in the relationship.
You should never have to be the only one who is putting in the effort in a relationship. You should have a partner who is willing to take on some of the workload for the both of you. You can’t be the only one who picks up after yourselves. You can’t be the one who plans dates, who does household chores, who earns the money. These are efforts that have to be shared equally.
2. You are the only one who seems interested in defining the relationship.
Defining the relationship is important. When you add a label to things, you are establishing a social contract with one another. You are essentially committing yourselves to each other. And so if you find that your partner is hesitant, perhaps it’s because they aren’t as invested in the relationship as you are.
3. Your partner never makes you a priority in their life.
You constantly find yourself having to compete for second place, but you never get a shot at first. There’s always something that manages to pull ahead of you in the eyes of your partner. You always have to play second fiddle to their careers, their hobbies, or their friends, and it’s sad how you never come out on top.
4. You are always the initiator of physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy is always important in a relationship and it takes two willing participants for intimacy to work. Obviously, you are into it because you are the one who always initiates things. But also, you know that there’s a problem there because without your efforts, you know your intimacy levels would eventually crumble.
5. You are the one who always reaches out first.
You are always the one who sends out the first text message. You are the one who always has to dial for a phone call. You know that there’s an imbalance there when you are the one who always initiates the conversation.
6. You willingly drop whatever you’re doing just for them.
This particular symptom is your own fault. You have to remember that you have your own life that you have a responsibility of living for yourself. You can’t just willingly drop your individuality for the sake of the relationship. Save some dignity for yourself.
7. You are scared to demand more from your partner.
You should never be afraid to communicate your needs and your wants to your partner especially when it concerns the relationship. You know that there is an unhealthy imbalance there when you are practically killing yourself as you try to make your partner happy and they can’t seem to do the same for you. You have to be able to demand more from your partner. You should never have to settle for mediocre relationship behavior and terrible treatment.
8. You are always at the giving but never at the receiving end of questions.
You always ask your partner questions about how their days are like, or what their plans for the future are. You take an interest in their life because you love them. But it seems, they never reciprocate this interest towards you.
9. Your partner tends to cancel on dates with you.
You know that your partner doesn’t really value you or your time much when they cancel on you or when they make you wait. You have to know that time is valuable and if you truly loved someone, you would also value that person’s time. But if your partner doesn’t really make it seem like they care much, then it’s probably because they really don’t.
10. You engage yourself in your partner’s hobbies but they don’t do the same for you.
When you fall in love with a person, you will want to immerse yourself in the life of that person as much as possible. And it’s evident with how willing you are to engage yourself in your partner’s passions and hobbies. But if you happen to find that they’re not willing to do the same for you, then that’s a definite problem that you need to address.
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