Don’t be with a financially-irresponsible person.
You manage to find yourself in a seemingly ideal relationship. You have found yourself in love with someone who happens to love you in return. There’s a nice synergy there and you’re really starting to think that there’s some serious potential here. You think that you and your partner actually have what it takes to make things last. However, the longer that you stay together, the more you start to discover the bad aspects of their personality.
And one of the more unfortunate traits that you could find in a partner is financial irresponsibility. Money issues are a big deal in relationships and it would be very foolish and immature of either of you two to believe otherwise. A lot of people say that money doesn’t matter in love and in relationships. They are wrong. Money matters. It just might not matter as much as love, compatibility, effort, compassion, and others. But it’s still something that matters and it can never be taken lightly.
So if you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone who is financially irresponsible, you have to make sure that you are able to call them out on it. You have to make sure that you protect yourself and your relationship by trying to fix those bad financial habits that you find in your partner. But how do you do that? Well first, you have to be able to spot those signs. You have to be able to figure out what habits are actually making your partner a financially irresponsible person. So you just have to make sure that you stay vigilant. Be on the lookout for some of these signs:
1. They act very secretive about how they use their money.
If they don’t really like to tell you about their spending habits, it’s probably because they are ashamed. They are too shy to open up about how they’re using their money because they know that they are definitely being irresponsible.
2. They don’t open up to you about their debt.
Debt is always going to be a tricky situation for a lot of individuals. But it just gets even more complicated once someone gets into a relationship. Whenever you find out that your partner has debt that they’re not telling you about, then it’s probably because it’s big and they don’t want you to freak out about how serious it is.
3. They can’t stop using their credit cards.
Credit cards are the financial devil’s ultimate device. On the one hand, it can be practical to have a credit card on hand especially when you just need to make a purchase and you’re short on cash. But if you notice that your partner is just being reckless with credit card usage.
4. They seem unable to stick to a budget plan.
Financial plans that are designed to keep spending and budget management on track are a great tool for mature individuals to use when they want to keep their money in check. So if your find that your partner doesn’t seem to stick to any sort of budget plan, then you should be worried.
5. They always find themselves behind on their bills.
Bills are a regular part of adult life. As much as we hate getting them in the mail, we have to pay them. It’s normal. What isn’t normal is when we constantly find ourselves lagging behind on our bill payments. You don’t want to be with someone who might be the reason you just lose electricity all of a sudden.
6. They don’t really have any savings or smart investments.
One sign of a person who is financially responsible is when they don’t just leave their money lying around gathering dust. They actually use their savings and invest them into something that can give them some more fiscal security.
7. They have a tendency to loan money from their friends a lot.
That’s absolutely embarrassing. You don’t want to be known as the person who’s with that one individual who is constantly borrowing money.
8. They make it a point to try and control how you use your money.
They are so fiscally irresponsible, they will want to use you as a financial safeguard. They will force you to be financially conservative so that they can afford to be reckless with their own money. They see you as something of a fallback for when they run out of money themselves.
9. They just don’t feel comfortable talking about money in general.
A financially irresponsible person is someone who doesn’t know how to discuss finances. This is a person who only likes to get money and spend it. Talking about money is important because you learn how to manage it better as a result.
10. Their principles on fiscal responsibility don’t match with yours.
And lastly, you have to share the same money values. You have to be able to discuss what things are worth splurging on and what things are worth passing on. You have to be on the same page with regards to how you are going to spend your cash.
Talk to me
Have you been with a person like this? Talk to me in the comments below!
Thats my issue with my husband. He constantly needs to borrow money, we are always struggling to make ends meet. He doesnt hold a full time job. Wishes never to discuss money yet always needs a hand. Hedges when i try to discuss. 15 years of this behaviour and i have learnt its not the life i want. So yesterday i sat him and told him i will be moving out unless i see some changes. Its not an emoty threat either. It has suck all the joy out of our relationship.
Sahira, it’s always important to let your feelings known and heard. This should make your husband see your stress and actually sit and talk about it with you.
All the best! 🙂
I’ve been struggling with this with my significant other for years. He’s soon to be 48 has $100,000+ in student loans and NO he isn’t a doctor, a lawyer or anything that took this many years of schooling, nor did he attend an Ivy League school. We both graduated 12 years ago with our masters.
He took a job paying $20k less per year then went and bought a $60-$65k truck financing it for over 6 years. He bought a 4 wheeler and financed that. He consolidated his credit cards into a $1k+ monthly loan while he still uses his credit cards. All of his paychecks are tied up in debt. I’ve told him that just because someone can make the monthly payments doesn’t mean they can actually afford something.
I’ve asked him on countless occasions if we can sit down and discuss finances – he either blows up or commits to a date when we can and as you may have already guessed the day comes and goes and no discussion.
His kids are no better. They don’t work (18 and 22yo) and expect everything handed to them. When they don’t get their way they bully him, make false promises that they’ll pay him back – which they never do, or they hound him until he gives in. Cars, spring break trips, rent money, you name it.
I’ve had enough – I’m dealing with a 48 yo child, not a man.
I got out of a very bad marriage my ex-husband was very careless with money. Nearly destroyed me financially he kept all his money problems away from me. I nearly had to pay all the bills in the house when it was time for him pay something like rent or car insurance he couldn’t make any payments on time and he’d like to call me at work at the last-minute so I can bail both of us out. When we split I found out he didn’t pay his car payments for 4 months he was behind on child support payments from a child of a previous relationship over 15000 to be exact he had the IRS after him and try to take me down with them by doing a fake tax return I had repo companies looking for him as well he promised he pay the cable bill and then I got a notice that he didn’t pay it for 5 months and I had to pay a huge chunk keep us out of trouble the worst thing I ever did was lend him $3,000 for his court case to get custody of his daughter but I think the money was used to keep him out of prison and he couldn’t be man enough to tell me that.
I found out he owe people money all over the place he ruined to women’s other credits and he has bad credit. He blamed the whole marriage failing because of me and that I expected too much out of him the only thing I needed was someone to be honest and open I would have found a way to help him out and he loved spending my money he was threatening me if I didn’t give him what he wanted financially and I was getting sick of it he’s a sociopath and I can’t believe right now he’s a loan officer for a major Bank and has the nerve to tell people how to save their money he’s a goddamn fraud one call to this Bank he be fired immediately for fraud one of my friends who’s a pastor had him on his Facebook page doing a podcast I immediately called this pastor and told him to get my ex-husband off his Facebook page when I told the pastor everything my ex-husband has did to me he immediately took him off. He went left me for a piece of trash and I heard was living in her house and not paying any bills like an idiot she would brag 24/7 about him on Facebook until he destroyed her financially now he’s with somebody else and I don’t think this woman knows what kind of person he really is I’d give anything to warn her but what good would it do I really get angry at women mostly women who think that in order to hang on to a man you have to help him out 24/7 financially I’ve seen women do this in my family that makes me sick. I’m been with another man for 10 years and he is opposite of my ex-husband never asked me for money has had the same job for 27 years has his own house and that’s healthy to me but I feel sorry for him sometimes because he has siblings back try to borrow money from him all the time and they don’t pay him back as well and these people are 40 years old and over so he’s sympathetic of what I went through thank goodness I had no children with my ex-husband but if you get involved with someone who’s financially irresponsible you are asking for trouble and tell the person to get going counseling wouldn’t help much either trust me on that took me a long time to get over what my ex-husband did to me but I’m safe now and happier thanks for reading