Unhealthy love – don’t.
It’s always bad to have too much of a good thing even love. We’ve always been taught that true love is the absolute best thing we could aspire to have in life. But even love should be dealt out and received in moderation. Excess love no longer stays true to the real essence of love. True love always has to be effortless and natural. Excess love is inorganic and forced. You should never really love anyone to the point wherein you are unhealthily obsessed with that person. If you do, there is a good chance that you will act controlling, overbearing, and dependent on the person you’re in love with; and that could spell possible dysfunction for your relationship. So how can you tell if you are too much in love with a person to a point where it’s unhealthy? That can be tricky. You have always been told to love wholeheartedly. And that’s true. You should always love wholeheartedly. But there is a substantial difference between loving someone wholeheartedly and loving someone unhealthily. One is good while the other is bad. How can you tell which is which? Well, here are a few signs that you need to be on the lookout for:
1. You are obsessive with your love.
There is a very fine line between loving someone unconditionally and loving someone obsessively. When you love someone unconditionally, you are essentially choosing to love a person in spite of that person’s flaws and imperfections. But when you love someone obsessively, you are loving a person blindly and you should never be blind when you walk into love.
2. You are constantly making sacrifices in the relationship.
It’s important to make compromises and sacrifices in a relationship. So good for you for being willing to put the needs of the relationship above your own. But it’s never healthy for a romance if you find that you’re the only one who is constantly making sacrifices in a relationship. They should always be balanced to promote the harmony of a relationship.
3. You get jealous so easily.
It’s okay to be acting jealous in a relationship. Naturally, you would have a tendency to be territorial towards the people who mean the most to you. But that doesn’t give you the entitlement to act jealous and possessive. You can’t dictate whenever your partner chooses to spend time with other people.
4. You act way too lenient and forgiving even when you shouldn’t.
In a relationship, you should always be forgiving and understanding. You should always make sure that you maintain a healthy level of tolerance for the imperfections and mistakes that your partner is going to make. But that doesn’t mean that you should be letting your partner get away unscathed on everything. You have to be able to put your partner in their place.
5. You always think of your partner as a superior.
You can’t ever allow yourself to think that your partner is the superior being in the relationship. When you’re in a relationship together, it should always be because you see each other as people who love one another equally. When there is an imbalance there in how you see one another, then that could mean that your relationship is dysfunctional.
6. You baby and pamper your partner excessively.
You know that you’re crossing the line whenever you act like your partner’s parent. You are romantic partners. This isn’t a parent-child relationship and you shouldn’t be feeding into that dynamic. You should never be looking to baby your partner to the point that they become dependent on you.
7. You don’t call them out whenever they’re wrong.
You should always be willing to call your partner up whenever they are screwing up. It’s the only way they can ever really learn from their mistakes. If you act too lenient, then they will see their inappropriate behavior as something that is acceptable. You have to be able to let them know whenever they’re screwing up.
8. You feel like you wouldn’t survive without your partner.
The same way how you wouldn’t want your partner to be dependent on you for babying and pampering, you shouldn’t be acting too dependent on your partner. You shouldn’t love them to the point where you feel you would crumble if they just happened to vanish from your life.
9. You give up all of your friendships for your relationship.
It’s acceptable for you to have friends outside of your relationship. Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you should give up all of your friendly relations. You should still be able to maintain healthy friendships while being in love.
10. You stalk your partner on social media.
It’s really unhealthy to be stalking anyone on social media in general especially when that someone is your partner. Typically speaking, you should already be content with the time that you spend together in a day. You don’t have to be monitoring every single thing that your partner is doing on social media. It’s important to give your partner space every so often both in the real world and the digital world.
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