That time when you met them for the first time ever, it felt magical. You were so full of admiration and certainty. You just knew it in you bones that person is just the right one for you. like you’ve finally crossed paths with the soulmate you’ve been searching for. They made you swoon with everything they did. They made it look so easy and you fell for them, right on your face.
Everything you ever wanted in your significant other was shining in their eyes. You thought “okay, this is it I’ve found you.” That first date, the first time you went to the movies with them, the first time they came over, the first time you both spent the night together, they made you feel like your love life was finally making sense. Everything looked right and it felt event better, like the fairy tale you were always meant to be a part of until that feeling of ecstatic happiness and hopefulness started to vanish into thin air. You begin to wonder why and how you even started to feel like that to begin with.
What happens is, when these feelings of blinding infatuation fade away, they leave one desperately trying to just keep holding onto them no matter how hard that may prove to be for them. so many of us are guilty of confusing infatuation, obsession and literally countless other things for love. Once it all goes away like it never even existed, we try to come up stuff we could blame it all on.
Well, there’s a lot that we could blame for that effervescent obsession with someone. Raging hormones, desperation for a relationship, peer pressure, sheer flawed judgement and lots of other factors. there’s always this raging dialogue about falling out of love but no one really talks the aftermath that comes with this realization: you don’t love someone as much you thought you did. It’s a process that takes up a ton of mental energy because we’re bound to spend a lot of time thinking of why it happened and what to do about it.
It’s bad enough to realize you’re not as much in love with a person as you thought, and you’re probably think there’s nothing worse than that. Except, there is. What’s even worse is when you don’t seem realize that you’re with someone for the wrong reasons or that you don’t actually love them as much as you keep telling yourself you do. Because things in the relationship will keep falling apart but you will not be able to tell the reason behind it. You’ll need a bit of help to get there. Here are a few signs that will tell you you’re as crazy about him/her as you might’ve thought:
1. Their needs and wants make things harder for you
Everyone has their own needs and the needs and wants of your significant other inconvenience you. they even annoy. You don’t want to be doing the things it takes to fulfill their needs. You feel like you’re they’re asking for too much. Well, if you loved them you would go an extra mile and many more to see them satisfied and happy.
2. You’ve already prepared a list of “breaking points”
In your head, you’ve already decided on thing that will break the relationship. You’ve set boundaries and if the are crossed you will not bother making it work. You’re waiting on them to give you a reason to leave. That’s not what a person truly in love does in a relationship. While you’re trying to grope in the dark for reasons to validate you dumping the, you might just accept that its really because you’re as emotionally attached to them as you once thought you were.
3. You have no plans of making your parents meet this person
Months have gone by and you’re still in rush to make your parents meet them. worse: you’re totally avoiding it. You have no desire to involve your family into this because you’re obviously not serious about them. You’re not ready, you don’t see it going anywhere with them and most of all, you’re not really all that in love with them despite of what you keep telling yourself.
4. You’re too busy for them and for the relationship
You can’t seem to find time for them. You find yourself regularly making excuses for why you’re always busy for them. You ultimately believe that you have many more important things to do than to attend to the relationship you’re in. You can’t find the passion in your heart for them that would push you into prioritizing them over other things in your life. You’re lying to yourself about how much you love them, because you sort of don’t.
5. Their issues are unacceptable but yours are understandable, always.
When they happen to cause any inconvenience, you think it’s irritating, it’s stupid and just plain inexcusable. Whereas, every single problem that has to do with you is entirely human and it’s okay. If that’s how it is then your love for them is conditional. It depends on how easy they make things for you, the moment it gets tough with them, you want out. You would never do that if you truly loved them.
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