Don’t force things to last.
Relationships are hard to maintain, some work out till the end and some fail no matter how two people work on them. This one is for those of you who think you’re living a lie, those of you who think you’re “dragging the relationship” or are “being dragged with someone”. This is about the harsh realities that all of us have to face at least once in our lives, the harsh realities of the fact that we don’t always get what we want no matter how badly we may want it. If your relationships match more than three signs, you need to sit and talk about it and see where it goes.
1. You fight constantly over measly and petty issues
Two people who care about each other and respect each other tend to ignore measly problems and small issues for the love of their partners. They have a lot of patience for their partners and they don’t want them to get into any arguments with them, they try to avoid arguments with everything they have. But when a relationship is dying, people lose their level of patience and they don’t think twice before fighting over the smallest of things.
2. You don’t think of them before taking big steps anymore
When two people are in love with each other, they make sure that their love plays a big part in the important steps of their lives, they make sure that their partners are involved in every big decision they take and every big life plan they make. But when love starts dying, we start thinking for ourselves without keeping our partners in mind because they don’t have the same position in our minds anymore. This leads to a lot of fights and a lot of taunts like “You don’t even think of me anymore”.
3. You consume your time in other things more
When two people are in love and are happy with each other, they tend to take out as much time as they can for each other regardless of how busy they are, because love cannot be bothered with busy schedules and no one is busy when it comes to sentiments and feelings. When people start falling out of love, they tend to occupy themselves in other activities more, they tend to do more things that would make them busy and keep them at a distance with their partners. It feels like even the smallest of activities is more important than trying to plan a meetup with your partner.
4. The future doesn’t matter to you anymore
When people are in love, their main motive and goal are to spend a life together; spending a happy life together is the ultimate goal of every relationship. But when love fades away, the future doesn’t really matter anymore because you aren’t as hopeful about it as you once were. So you don’t plan things anymore, you don’t save anymore and you just live life each day as it comes.
5. You find yourself taking an interest in other people
It’s natural to be charmed by someone even when you’re in a relationship, but it’s a completely different thing when you can sometimes imagine a life with those people and think of how different things would have been had it been them. This happens because your heart isn’t completely a hundred percent in that relationship anymore and it’s looking for happiness and peace elsewhere.
6. You start remembering their mistakes
People in love tend to let things go for the sake of their relationships. They let go of the fights and forget the arguments and continue working for a better and happier future. But when love fades away, even the smallest of the fight is remembered and you may use it against them during another fight. This is a very destructive thing to do because the fights never end and the couple is found stuck within a vicious cycle of fights and heated arguments and they can’t remember the last time they were “just okay” with each other.
7. You can’t discuss your feelings without having an argument
This is a continuation to my last point when two people start falling out of love, they tend to develop a fear of sentimental discussions. They don’t want to talk about their feelings because every little topic leads to a fight. This is highly destructive because open communication is a vital part of every long-lasting and happy relationship and people can’t be happy with each other without having complete transparency when it comes to letting the feelings out.
8. “Emotional Silence”
People who are truly in love are very emotional and affectionate with each other. Their actions and their words are filled with emotions and affection. But when love falls out of place, the affection starts dying and the emotions start fading away. You think twice before saying anything sweet because you think your feelings aren’t being cherished and you’re just wasting your emotions on someone who’d just ignore them. This leads to a condition I call “Emotional Silence”.
9. You’re not proud of having them anymore
When someone asks me about my girlfriend, I very happily and proudly tell them about how happy I am to have her in my life. This is because that’s what love does to you, it gives you a very different feeling of pride because of your partner and the love you share together. You don’t think twice before putting up nice pictures with them and talking about them with family and friends. But when love starts dying, people don’t feel the same pride anymore and they tend to ignore the topic of their relationships. They usually say “it’s complicated” or “we are working on it.”.
10. You don’t get scared at the thought of a breakup
The thought of a breakup makes me shiver, it has the same effect on people who are madly in love with each other and are in a happy relationship together. If you’re at a stage in your relationship where you just don’t fear a breakup happening, you’re completely damaged in that relationship and it doesn’t really matter to you.
Talk about it
Do you feel any of these signs in your relationship? Talk about it in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
I definitely had all of these signs in my last relationship. Even though she was the mother of my child i chose to buy a home and move out of the home we rented together. Fights were non stop, and there’s wasn’t any emotional or physical touch anymore. For the next 9 months she tried to keep us together. We were off and on throughout. One day i gave her my phone to look at a takeout menu and she saw the messages i had with other women. Even though we were not in a relationship we were still spending time together and it broke her heart. She cut me off out of her life completely other then exchanging our son. After 2 weeks i couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like i had lost my Best friend. I saw all the little things she used to do that i used to take for granted. Long story short i fought to get her back and for the past month everything changed. These signs have completely reversed and we now love, appreciate, and care for each. I realized I couldn’t live without her and we are now making plans for the future!
That’s so sweet and awesome for you to admit, good luck and I hope things work out👍
Well said
I needed to read this. I love my mate but everything is so bad right now.
I think your relationship is one sided. when you talk to that person and you have to listen negative things about your screen shots because he shared it with others. you have to face alot of things from your family alone.. and you always have to listen that he is not interested in you. and you are teasing him. on the other side he shows his interest in you. she received abusive behaviour from his friends circle when she tries to know what is happening in his life she forgives you on that because she knows that it is not your fault. but i think its one sided and its time to end this because he want to get you on that basis and want to show the world that she loves you and you are not interested.and he knows that he started this and invovled her in this . but i think it has to over. he always want that you talk to him so, he share your screen shots, prove himself right and take any step on the basis of yours not him.
she always tried to clear things without any disturbance but it was useless because he didn’t understand her. he always considered her a toxic person. she deserve this and how you can continue this relation? and i think its important to move on. right?
And she dont want to live a life where she has to face alot of problem from his partner family and from other family who are not in favour of this relation. She wants to live a happy life with his partner and may be its not possible with that person. Because she is considered a toxic person and liar. because she is tired from one sided game. she didn’t receive any msg from other family in these years time that she wasted on that person who have courage to announce relationship but not have courage to clear with that person. So, plz move on without any hesitation. you deserve the best. i want to said this to unknow person may possible he read this.
I have read all of your replies and it seems that you suggest moving on in EVERY situation, which to me sounds like commitment issues! NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECTN! The point of communication is to work through these issues and build a stronger, more secure foundation with one another to face Whatever the future may throw at you. I’ve been with my wife for over 16 years and I am experiencing a vast majority of these signs, but that DOES NOT mean that I’m just going to “move on”, as you do eloquently stated so many times. NO, the idea is to put ALL these feelings on the table and to ALSO REMEMBER To LISTEN!!! You cannot hear what the other is trying to say if you are always talking, or at least that is the motto I try to abide by. It is hard, but I can STILL SEE that Future is that we’d planned and it STILL MAKES SENSE, and is STILL WORTH FIGHTING FOR, especially when the mere thought of Never holding her in my arms again, Never kissing her beautiful lips, Never singing her to sleep again as I caress her, these thoughts bring many a sleepless night. . . . . So if you are still in love with the other, and they still feel that rebuilding/rekindling the blaze is worth the risk and worth their efforts as well, DONT GIVE UP!! -Thank you for listening. Doubt Angela will ever read this, but YOU ARE WORTH IT, TO ME! -always, forever n a day
She also loves you she is not a cheater but what about you?
If you ask anyone who has been married for a long time if they ever felt any of these about their partner they would answer of course. Yes, some relationships should never be and staying for the sake of the kids is just child abuse. But just giving up on a relationship because you’re bored or that new salesclerk at the minimart is looking mighty fine is the easy way out. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence is now the grass is greener where you water it. If you pay attention to your grass and treat it right it will be greener than any other. But if you are lazy and expect grass to stay green and lush by itself I guarantee that as soon as you jump the fence that beautiful green will start to dry up and turn brown. If a relationship involves infidelity or abuse then get out. But a relationship that is temporarily experiencing any pro cms lens on the lust needs attention not abandonment.
Talking of infidelity, my ex and I dated for 1year 2months and he cheated on me with 5 women
Yeah this is true, once exprienced it
I feel refected by my partner any time I talk about having fun time with her she tells me she has stress and more so she tries to keep me a secret to her friends, am just in misery no matter how much I love her
I am currently experiencing this signs
One hobby before our marriage eventually became 5 of his nightly hobbies in 20 years of marriage. There is no time for a marriage if you can’t strike a balance. When my needs and feelings are expressed he doesn’t acknowledge them, gets defensive, and starts gas lighting me. Right now, I’m just going with the daily motions and becoming resentful. The marriage in my opinion has been over for a long time.
I think the last of it is what am going through for some time now.thoug we are still together but she is always asking for break-up.this is some one I truly love
I slept with my daughters father and now husband, his best friend, 13 years ago, and again, 5 years ago I think he still loves me, but he doesn’t trust me. What can I do to show him that I am very sorry for what I’ve done. Also, I like to him from the beginning of our relationship and he’s finding things out from social media and basically I am screwed. Any suggestions on what I should do? ?