Understanding the dynamics of a relationship involving a narcissist and an empath can be quite challenging. It’s like riding a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. In this article, we will look at the ten different stages that define these relationships.
It’s essential to keep in mind that a narcissist lacks empathy and is self-centered, while an empath is known for their strong sense of empathy and their desire to help others.
Stage 1: The Charmer and the Empathic Magnet
At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist is often charming and magnetic, drawing the empath in with their charisma. The empath’s empathic nature makes them highly receptive to the narcissist’s initial facade, which is carefully constructed to mirror the empath’s desires.
Stage 2: Emotional Attachment
As the relationship progresses, the empath forms a deep emotional connection with the narcissist. They genuinely believe they can help the narcissist overcome their insecurities and provide the love and understanding they need.
Stage 3: The Cracks Begin to Show
Over time, the narcissist’s facade begins to crack, revealing their true self. They may exhibit manipulative behavior, selfishness, and a lack of empathy. The empath, however, often makes excuses for the narcissist’s behavior, blaming external factors.
Stage 4: Emotional Drain
The empath starts to feel emotionally drained as they continually give more than they receive. The narcissist exploits the empath’s willingness to care and support, leaving them feeling depleted and unappreciated.
Stage 5: Manipulation and Control
The narcissist becomes even more manipulative, using tactics like making the empath feel guilty, distorting reality, or emotionally blackmailing them to stay in control. The empath, who always seeks to keep things peaceful, becomes more submissive as a result.
Stage 6: The Breaking Point
The empath reaches a breaking point. They begin to recognize the destructive nature of the relationship and question their own worth. This stage can be emotionally painful for the empath, but it’s a turning point.
Stage 7: Struggling to Break Free
Escaping from the narcissist is a tough task. The empath’s wish to assist and make things better conflicts with the understanding that the narcissist may never change. They might try to leave the relationship multiple times but struggle to actually go through with it.
Stage 8: Healing and Self-Discovery
The empath eventually makes the choice to end the harmful relationship. During this stage, they embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing. They discover how to establish boundaries and make their own well-being a top priority.
Stage 9: Recovery and Growth
After the relationship ends, the empath starts to put their life back together. They pay attention to self-care, work on personal growth, and build healthier relationships. This stage is essential for regaining emotional strength.
Stage 10: Empowerment and Resilience
In the last stage, the empath gains a sense of empowerment and resilience. They come out of the experience stronger and wiser. They discover how to shield themselves from harmful people and develop a higher sense of self-worth.
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Conclusion:
The relationship between a narcissist and an empath is a complicated journey with several stages. It starts with charm and emotional closeness, but as time passes, the narcissist’s real character is revealed. The empath goes through emotional exhaustion, manipulation, and control before hitting a breaking point. Breaking free from the narcissist is a challenge, but it paves the way for healing, self-discovery, and personal growth. Eventually, the empath comes out of the experience more robust and more resilient.
This journey teaches us important lessons about the dynamics of toxic relationships and the need for empathy toward ourselves. It reminds us that self-care and setting boundaries are essential for our emotional well-being. Whether you are an empath or know someone in a similar situation, understanding these stages can be a crucial step toward healing and personal growth.
Share Your Thoughts:
What are the stages of a relationship between a narcissist and an empath? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section!
You didn’t say anything about the narcissist I think they break harder than the empath because they don’t see the truth until the break up happens
…. and he stood in the living room crying as I carried my belongings to my car saying .. please don’t leave me … Me: I have to go ….I’m not thriving here … bye
🖤🖤🖤🖤
The narcissist know who they are and they’ll deny it, accuse everyone else of being one. The only reason they “break harder” is because they are losing the one that they are controlling.
You’re correct. They never accept constructive criticism. Instead, they will blame you for the wrong doings. Hayyyy!!
Good isn’t it
The reality is often a lot more complicated than that unfortunately.
The couple have a child or children together.
The empath stays in the relationship as long as possible, despite knowing it is unsatisfactory, because they want the best for the child(ren), for them to grow up in a “normal” family and have stability. And deep down, they still love the narcissist.
The empath stays longer than is wise, whilst the narcissist makes things worse and worse, breaking down the empath’s mental stability and health. The empath finds the narcissist turning the children against them by indulging the children and triangulating them against him/her.
By the time they do split up, the empath is deeply traumatised and barely holding on to their sanity.
After the split, the narcissist tries to get the empath back in their life, whilst trashing them to anybody they can, including their family. If they fail, all hell lets loose.
if the narcissist is the woman, she does everything possible to prevent her ex from having contact with his beloved children. If it’s a man, then he makes life hell with all sorts of accusations and demands and even lawsuits and tries to wrest the children from her, saying that she is mentally unfit for the task.
With all the stress and trauma both past and present, the empath struggles to keep going from one day to the next, whilst the narcissist enjoys their next relationship and even gets their new beau/belle to work with them against the empath.
Eventually life settles down, but the empath’s health is permanently damaged and their life diminished severely.
Well, that’s my own experience.
Hi Peter – you make some valid points that resonate with me here. The injustice eats away at the empath and clouds future judgement as their entire axis has been challenged as they would expect injustice to be rectified and it has not even been acknowledged in many cases.
Quite well said.
Hopefully the empath has found a way out before kids etc.
Nevertheless as a victim myself, this is a wake up call to look inside oneself. Why did you not see the red flags. Why did you not have clear boundaries, or did not keep them. Why did you not confront when you were gaslighted or manipulated. Why did you not take a timeout to see things more clearly. Why you did not trust yourself and your feeling.
Narcissist is a victim of horrendous childhood trauma. Now you were a victim of that victim. It is good to see the bigger picture.
Still no one should be treated in these ways. But as an empath it is an opportunity to become a healthy/healthier person yourself. Focus on you, and become more aware of yourself, improve and love yourself as you would love someone else on your place.
Don’t wait the time to heal the wounds, work, so you will become more whole. Therapy, friends, prayer.
And remember; This too shall pass…
Beautiful message 🤗indeed, this too shall pass
Omg this is so true. When your the victim and you feel no one understands and you start to actually go down into the ground to the point of wanted to end it all. Been their done that, had my child taken from me. The most traumatising thing I have ever had to go through and the hurt and pain my child went through with everyone aswelm being told I’m the mad one. So sick and I’m actually surprised I made it through and am still here. What kept me going was the fight to get my child back and the tables turned in the end, 5 years it took. I would never wish it on my worst enemy. Sick world that’s all I can say x
As an empath myself, with 2 children, I have found myself to retaliate and say to my husband that I will not accept his behavior anymore. That I refuse to be afraid of him. Although I am due to his threatening and violent tendencies. But I have to stay strong. Unfortunately, me staying ‘strong’ can have a negative effect as one of my children would prefer me to not speak out as he is afraid of his father becoming more,agitated. There is no easy way out. My children would be heartbroken if we separate. I moved to a foreign country for this man. I cannot leave to stay with my family. I wish that my children had a kinder, more sensitive father. They continue to try to make him proud of them 😪
Hi Stacey
I have moved to a different country to be with father of my child. After 17 years I have left him las year .
You don’t know how strong you are …
I am going through a lot of therapy and it’s not always candy and unicorns kind of days .
I’m incredibly proud of myself for breaking this circle.
I know that my son will not grow up witnessing very toxic interactions that he would most likely repeat in the future.
All the best love x
They are being raised rightfully even under such circumstances 👍🏾
Exactly my story, and I still don’t understand while I know all of this, I have been in the stage that I want to leave, I asked for divorce 4 times, the first 2 times he told me he will change, he assured me, ofxourse not even a day passed and he broke promises that I knew as a fact that won’t happen. Our 4 sons grew up, and they asked me to divorce him because they knew I was another person when he was not around. I can’t explain to myself why I can’t leave him, sometimes I entertain myself with the idea if I leve him he will become a heavy load to my sons. The last time I asked for divorce he told me he didn’t want to divorce me, and the reason was that he can’t deal with his business by himself. That business I built from scratch, I believed in himself more than he believed in himself, he became successful, I left him with my boys away from him to a city 4 hrs away. We saw him feom Thursday to Monday 4am he got back to the city he has the business. I asked to move, I had everything in the new city, after 2 years that my boys and I settled. He told me he won’t move, I felt relaxed and I enjoyed life with my boys from Monday to Thursday mid day. I want to believe I am in the last stage since long ago, I am not afraid of being divorced. I dream of being free from this relationship. I reached resilience. I don’t depend on him anymore, why I can’t leave him? Because I don’t want to cross the bridge to deal with him. He’s the only person in the whole world that takes out the worst in me. I don’t like to fight or discuss specially silly nonsense things. How can someone brake free from this? I have all the reasons to leave, my sons are grown, they even asked me to divorce him. I know as a fact I will be better without him. I can be financially free from him. My administration to him is not there from many years ago. I have been in teraphy for years. I feel tired of trying to end this many times during 28 years .
What do these “boundaries” consist of? This sounds like valuable information that I need.
love this,🖤
So so true..sad to read ones life from anothers
Same experience!
This is exactly mine too! I was with a male narc. The accusations have been unreal. Nearly finished in court after 3 years. He got married and his new supply has been on his side from the start. Thankfully the professionals have seen through him and his ludicrous behaviour, he refuses to see he’s done anything wrong and is still projecting the blame on to me and everyone else.
Everything you described is what I’m currently living. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this it’s left me a broken man. She knows those kids are my world as I raised them both because she wasn’t maternal in the slightest. Now she’s using them against me, getting them to lie when she leaves them alone to go out with her enablers and drink/take drugs! The social services even believe her bs but I have proof of it. Unfortunately my mental health isn’t great atm so the last thing I’d want is for them to go into the care system. I need to focus on getting well and being in a position where I can provide them with a stable home and provide everything they need. Man these narcissists are something else entirely!
God my life story in a nutshell
🙏🙏
You just literally explained my current life! 43 year old Mom of 3. Married to a narcissist who I’ve been with since I was 15, just coming to terms with the fact this isn’t best for my children and is causing me mental and physical distress, it’s fine but, I know the road to get there is not going to be easy!
No, it’s definitely not easy but I promise you, it’s worth it! I just left my bf of 15 years in July 2023 because of all of the reasons everyone has talked about. I am STILL not over everything! It gets a little easier every day and I definitely see my stress level has dramatically dropped! keep your head up and your eyes forward and you can get through anything to be happy again! Good luck!
EXACTLY MY EXPERIENCE TO THE TEE!
So true I have found this is the case with me and my kids also..
Exactly what happened to me. You said it perfectly!
I’m right here with my feet out the door but 1 toe still in because I cannot get out with my kids. Help me
From here please. I don’t know what to do. I cannot stay, but I cannot go. I feel like
I’m dead either way.
Similar here
This right here ^. My life has been literal chaos. I don’t wish this on anyone. You can forget any resemblance of peace on earth.
I feel that’s how my situation is going to turn out. We have a baby on the way. He’s already told me that he’ll take them away from me, saying he worried about my living situation. Meanwhile he has a drug problem and is so careless with it. He tells me he hopes the baby doesn’t make full term bc he doesn’t wanna be stuck me forever.. I’m no saint, I say my fair share a crap n sometimes I do say things that’s below the belt but I’m so hurt n mad at him that honestly it just comes out… I stayed with him for too long, giving excuses of why he does or doesn’t do something, hoping that one day he would see n actually try. I gave him so many more chances then he should’ve had. So many lies n red flags I let him get away with, turning a blind eye to his bs. Now I feel stuck, like I’m never going to be out.
What u said, I felt that to my core.
Relatable, it’s an absolutely horror to live.
boundaries …consist of not allowing the narc to disrespect you. he has zero boundaries as far as cheating goes. he will sleep with anyone
I completely agree cause that’s my life except I just haven’t been able to leave yet
you nailed.
I am so sorry.
It felt like I had wrote this while I was reading it. It’s scary how they are all the same.
Agreeeee 10000% I am living this now I’m the empath he’s the narcissist he’s turned his children that I raised as my own against me and now is even turning my own children against me it’s a sick game I can’t break free from it’s totally destroyed my mental health
So sorry. I hope you’re healing
I agree having been in a 12 year relationship with a narcissist. I came out of it battered and broken with an inability to let anyone get too close to me emotionally or physically. whenever someone tries to get too close I shut them down and walk away. it is a very lonely existence.
I’m so sorry 😞 I was married to a narc for 25 years. Did not let anyone near me for 18 years. Finally I thought I had met the perfect man ….Not!! After 2 yrs , He changed drastically. He is a narc …. after 3 years is over. He told everyone I’m a terrible person . Typical narcissist!!!! Please be on alert ‼️ But don’t give up on love !!
Great Article by the way ❤️
That has been my case for the past years now I fell in love with a narcissistic lady who has messed up my life now I realise myself and wish to break up with I found out she’s pregnant for me and she doesn’t want to abort the child but I don’t wish to marry her because we were just in a relationship but she’s insisting I will take care of her to put to birth what can I do pls your advice will help
It’s interesting, even as everyone know’s, women are the biggest narcissistic and self centered beings on this planet. But they are taff to hide it for example with the vulnerable narcissm. That’s not so easy to uncover. Instead to blame some one other they should take full responsibility for their decisions. Than they are able to avoid “toxic” relationships. Further they have to ask the question: “For what suits me this bad relationship?” or “What allows me this relationship NOT to do?”
Think about that.
I have done a lot of research on this. The majority of narcissists are male.
Spoken by a true narcissist
Adding to hoomooji comment about the narcissist hitting hard and realising there error (or just cooing the empathetic person back)
The empathetic feeling stronger and listening and seeing some kind of change in the narcissist considers going back.
Don’t! ! Don’t be fooled again
Hello,
I’ve been in relationships where I’ve experienced this narcissistic personality. It can from many things like early trauma or combined with mental health disease. I wonder is it possible to have a narcissist heal & turn themselves into a better human with many hours, days & years of therapy? New support structure? Healthier relationships? I have never gone back to those people or in this case the person I had our daughter with. It’s been 16 years & I have seen minimal change. I’m no Saint myself but do feel more emotionally empathetic towards that situation & other relationships I have been in since. Very interested to know if narcissistic personality can change. Can it? I have yet to see it.
Only if the realize that they are one and want to change, go through counceling… There is no medication
Absolutely spot on. My daughter is an empath and spent 4 years believing she could mend her narcissistic partner. She married him and then the abuse really started and it nearly destroyed her emotionally. She lost all confidence and still felt she had to keep trying. When their baby was being traumatised by all the shouting and crying she left and after 2 and a half years is about back to her old self and son is a happy little boy. His dad virtually never asks to see him but makes a lot of noise to anybody who will listen that she keeps him from his son. These people are totally destructive and always believe that they are the victim.
Well…. That describes my second marriage to the dot. The result – yes, I am stronger. But could not build any relationship after that. Just happy in my own skin and leave my life.
Live even 😅
I spent 4 years with a narcissist hoping everything would change.. In the beginning like all narcissists… Simply wonderful.. then slowly removing the mask. My breaking point was that… I ended up in the hospital, a matter of life or death… For his comment to be: “Fool, you have nothing, don’t pretend.”. I’m still fighting.. I left him right after that.. But of course, like in the beginning, now he’s ‘lovely’ again.. May the force be with us..
Well right now I am an empath
I want to break free from my relationship but every time I do I keep going back thinking he would change to be better
Can a narcissist not know tgey are one.
Was going to say the same about children but also when you have to have an on-going relationship with a narcissist (in my case because of a child), there’s also the stage where they want to destroy you because you have left. Or was this more of a psychopath behaviour!? 😢
This reads in a manner that the male is the narcissist… And therefore misses some very distinct nuances that are prevelant to a still strong minded male empath.
For me it is the gaslighting. No matter what the issue you raise they leave you feeling like it was all in your mind and your fault some how. Even after leaving I second guessed myself but by the time I got out I was filled with so much relief I was in no doubt it was the right decision and now I am so peaceful and happy 😊
I’m a male empath in a relationship with a female narcissist. It’s not always the guy that is the bad one!
I am with one and already on stage 8. Hoping this time I can break free.
The Narcissist intentions is to destroy your life after the break up. Do not allow the narcissist to have control over your destiny. They had control when you were dating, now they no longer have that control. It will seem near impossible to recover emotionally and spiritually after a break up from a relationship with a narcissistic, however with time and being kind to yourself, acknowledging that you are an empath and cared for someone that cares about nobody but himself / herself, you will eventually make peace with the unfortunate relationship and move on. You are not wrong for having genuine intentions in any friendship or relationship. You are a human being not an object.
On the whole, this is very good generalization, but of course there are more variables that can also vary from case to case.
In my case, it took 21 years and two children before I gave up, even though I am perceived as a strong and independent woman with a good career as HR director.
In hindsight, the fact that I didn’t left already after the 2nd week was due to him treating me the same way my mother has always treated me, but I couldn’t see that.
Lots of elements of physical and mental abuse. Always compared to others who are always better, etc. My mom has broken up with me 4 times since I was an adult and it’s always because of things she makes up that I said or did.
Since 10 years ago we have no contact.
My ex often accused me of things that he “felt” and because he believes his intuition is incredibly good, he assumed his paranoia was the truth. I have defended myself, explained myself and apologized for hours, days and months for things that never happened. Both against my mother and my ex.
Even though it’s been 2.5 years since I left him, he doesn’t let go. He still goes out of his way to control and destroy me psychologically and financially and often uses the children as pawns in the game.
According to him, however, everything is my fault. I am both a narcissist and a psychopath. It is also my fault that he had to beat me, that he became an alcoholic and that our relationship did not work. Unfortunately we have 2 children together so I have to deal with him as long as he lives.
The constant accusations that are completely unfounded is one of the worst parts, because as you said, if he has a “feeling” that makes it true and that I’m a habitual liar
I believe that I combine some traits of narcissist resulted from my childhood while being a real empath too. This is very painful sometimes because these sub personalities fight each other.
Why there are so many articles about how to be heal from relationships with narcissists but so little material how for narcissists to heal from narcissism?
That is a very good point. My ex is a narcissist and gaslighting was his favorite activity along with pushing me down, wiping out my credibility, self-esteem and personality.
I left him officially about 2 years ago. We have a 7 yo son together. I know he yearns for a relationship and still keeps hope to be back with me.
I will never ever go that road since he has proven me over and over that as soon as he feels safe in the relationship in turns into some sort of psychopath.
But I want him no harm and he is still the father of my son. Where could he find some help to break the patterns and figure out fixing his childhood traumas? How can a narcissist change? After all, we cannot just eliminate them from the question, they stay around, particularly if there are children involved.
Great observation, this could help me as an empath to understand why I’m not getting though to my wife, she’s just left walked out away from a 19yrs relationship. She’s a 48 yr old lady that 2.5 yrs ago she started her own spiritual journey that I’ve tried my best to support, she’s also going through the perimenopause and has tried material mushroom remedies and now very much in to the cacao in the morning,
I totally believe that she is trying to heal but because of how o let her behave towards me I have become nothing but an emotional punch bag
I have been kicked out and left like a bad smell to forgive her so many times and I have, but this time she told me to not come home and left herself.
I’m left trying to talk to her while being totally blanked. I’m wanting her back and I mean the lady I meet not this person that thinks I’m against her and only sees or focuses on twisting something to make out on something I’m not. I forget and forget, all my own failing and I do try but I’m not prefect. But when she’s in the wrong (no apologies or anything just a giggle that I’ve had to learn to except and see as her way of apologising, but now she’s left and it is hard I’m starts to see how many fences ( my boundaries I have let her push over in this time) I have to start to rebuild.
I have really am starting to feel like I can do this and efforts made are starting to stop with being ignored, I’ve even asked my children to stop letting her in my space as I don’t encroach into her and believe I deserve the same respect as she demands.
Can anyone help guild me !! Thought this awkward time.
I am sorry to inform you that there is NO CURE for the Narc. Therapy may facilitate smoothing out the sharp edges but only temporarily. It is a known personality disorder that is rooted in a lack of healthy mother and child bonding during infancy. The missed development building blocks can never be saved or acquired. A Narc is a Narc for te rest of their lives.
Thank you for your words. My experience also. But I started to remember who I was before him and I am comming back. Not to my old self, but new, stronger and wiser. Why they cannot change – because they have no selfreflection. They see themself as a perfect human being. The rest are the ones who need therapy. They cannot want to fix something, that is not broken. They simply cannot change.
As an empath , that has been in that situation, and now is on the outside looking in at my how my ex narc acts with his current partner .. ( I’m still married to him with 2 children) but separated for 8years )he still checks I’m not with anyone else , but if I am , his attention turns back from her to me.. however if I’m alone and he’s satisfied with knowing hes not missing anything , so I guess, although estranged from the cycle, I’m still somewhat enmeshed in the void somewhere
I have been in this kind of relationship for years and a few times he has almost broken me. Now, after thirty odd years I have realised I am the strong one and called him on all the bullshit. I no longer get drawn into fights I just simply ignore the gripes he has always used to make me stay down. Our relationship has stayed quite good because he – mostly – realised that I don’t care anymore and am looking after myself now. I have freed myself within the marriage and started again. I have rediscovered my strength and confidence. . I won’t walk on eggshells again for anyone. I do what I want and if it doesn’t fit him, too bad. If only I had realised it can be changed a long time ago but it’s happened now and it’s good.
I’ve been through the whole experience . It was a roller coaster ride and after 12 years I finally had to let go . It hurt ..i felt broken .
I’m going through the healing process now .
If narcism does not come with self esteem but with an extreme lack of conficence, stage 1 can be en extreem appeal for compassion. The rest of the story fits mine, except that I did not end the relationship. I just stopped expecting real partnershipt.
He is a victim of childhood traumas. I am empathic and helping family and strangers too. I have experienced living with psykopath from before. That makes me wiser and stronger.
But when I am reading this, I see myself in stage 3. He began to emotionally drain me and I am making excuses for him and trying to show him positiveness and believing in us. This behavior came at the same time as remodeling the house we bought together. Is it possible that it’s just because of his stress from work, moving and remodeling with too little sleeping and resting? Or is it just an excuse?
Best regards
V.
Spot on. This is pretty much exactly what I went through.
He even told me months later that he tried so hard to get me and that he couldn’t keep “that up”, but I felt sorry for him and he kept tearing me down. I am so thankful my friends didn’t let me loose sight of who i am and would openly say I would be against them doing what I was allowing for myself. Truth. So thankful for a massive blow up due to drinking where I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t drink anymore – now I don’t need to. I felt like I needed to to justify him and us. I’ve since repaired myself but it wasn’t and isn’t easy. But we can!
There should be a number 11 and 12 for after the relationship ends. Because from what I’ve witnessed there really Is never an end to a relationship with a true narcissist, just an alteration to the carnage they create in the empaths life. And that is an understatement… a narcissist won’t let go until your destroyed!
Never lose . Keep trying , try the utmost best in every aspects and then leave the rest with God .
I ended my relationship with my narcissist ex partner in July and have managed to stay strong so far, I feel I’m currently in-between stages 8 and 9. He’s backed off and given me space since I made it clear however because he has some boxes of my things, I had to recently make contact to arrange to collect them. I have thoughts of missing him, the parts where he treated me so nice, but have to keep reminding myself of all the horrible ways he treated me and how the 6 year relationship has been such an emotional roller coaster for me, I was so drained and suffer from low energy as a result of everything. How do I stop myself from being drawn back to him when I meet him to collect my things as he’s made it clear he still has feelings for me.
Be strong, really strong and take your belongings back from him. After you have your things, say nothing and walk away. It will be hard, but you have to do this. Don’t dwell on the good times, the good memories or the times he was good to you. Remember how he hurt you, stole your life, your soul. Learn who you are..be yourself. Maybe one day you will find someone who will treasure you, not own you. But allow yourself to heal first. You deserve to be safe, loved and happy and he will never give you any of that. He will continue to suck the life out of you if you let him. Don’t go back to him..ever.🙏❤️
This is actually what is happening right now. Unfortunately we’re now married and baby no 2 is on the way. Now that makes it harder. I wish i could go back to time. I wish i knew this before.
I think i was in a relationship like this. We were already engaged and were supposed to get married, but she broke off everything via WhatsApp! It was a long distance relationship and I still lover after all these months .. we reconnected recently only to let me know that she is dating someone else. I always wanted to safe the relationship as I believe it was worth saving.
Is there a chance to ever reconnect on a proper way with my ex and start a new relationship or is everything lost?!
I was also married to a narcissist for 6 years and I have known him for 24 years, never in my life I would have thought he is one, until we were married and he started showing his true colors. We have a daughter together and she was 10 at the time I moved to another city, she came with, but was struggling to adapt to the new school and missed her friends, so she moved back. Currently she is living with him and his parents. As time went by she started talking about his verbal abusive and selfish behavior and how it makes her feel. She now understands why I left and speaks more openly about it. The sad part about it is I could never truly explain to her what he is, because he is her dad and she loves him. Now she wants to come back, but doesn’t want to abandon her grandmother, whom she adores, and is her best friend and comfort in her current situation. I’m supporting her and want her to realize that her grandmother would not love her any less if she decided to move here. Her concern is what will happen to grandma if she is gone, she is the reason grandma gets up. In the mean while I got stuck in a relationship with a narcissist again and ended it after 4 years. Couldn’t take the controlling again, the condescension and the guilt game. Now I am at a stage in my life where I want to make new friends, male and female, but I am totally not interested in a romantic relationship. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous.
Im not perfect but I want fix an willing do all takes if u are moe plz I love u an not self without u an kids in my life.
Yes, this is true for me.
Although my narc ex wife got an intervention order to remove me from the kids and then 3.5 years of family courts to get her supply. Even after finalising the dispute she tries to get her supply by taking out another intervention order after I confronted her to stop telling our children lies.
No mention of the poor narcissist issues. An empath is someone who has been able to face life’s challenges with love and remain in love, the narcissist has had more troubling messages relayed to them and do not have the tools to remain dealing with the world through love. They deal with the world by slipping into darkness. A narcissist is an empath without any training.
I am currently leaving a narcissist. He knows I am leaving and after 12 years of verbal abuse, not being allowed to see my friends unless he was with me, not being allowed to see my children from my first marriage or my grandchildren, not being able to get my haircut, sex when he wanted it, which was all the time, whether I did or not, the fights because I did or said something he didn’t like..it’s time for me to leave. This relationship has broken me and the only way I can face anymore of life’s challenges is to build up courage and go. I still love him, I’ll always care about him and worry about him. Why is his life more important than mine? I begged him to seek counseling and he went to talk to someone for 4 visits. He came back and told me the councilor he was seeing said there was nothing wrong with him…I was the problem. He has reminded me of this every chance he gets. We have no friends as a couple..only his friends. Everyone I know is racist towards him. He took what I told him about my childhood, my past and my marriage and uses that information against me all the time. Yes, he has been traumatized. He lost his mother, his sister and his father. It’s just him and his brother left. His relationship with his brother is almost non existant as he is jealous of his brother, but I can’t make him see that. I have been with him for 12 years..the longest relationship he has ever had before me lasted 2 months. I have given him my all and he tells me I’m not a good housewife, that I’m a c**t, that I’m just like my mother…whom he only met 3 times before she passed away 3 years ago. Poor narcissist. Yeah, he’s got it rough..it’s been tough for him. Pfft. When someone loves a narcissist, we can only do so much to help them. If they deny or refuse that they need to see someone to talk things out, that’s their choice. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change, someone who doesn’t think they are doing anything wrong, that they are hurting the one person who truly loves them. They are dominant and the empath will never be an equal. An empath can only give so much, try so hard before they just die because the life is being tucked out of them to feed the narcissist. The narcissist has to want to trust, to love the empath and themselves enough to want to get help and change. Then they need to ask for forgiveness.
I’m going through this right now, right on this moment
Read the manipulation part of him again.
OM another note
So interesting that people always think of men as one but reality is female ones are even worse.
Let them…
Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory? I’ll tell you friends the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships.
This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because I didn’t want to lose people. But I learned the hard way if they were really my people they would never treat me like that. *Don’t make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you’re being repeatedly disrespected.*
Let them be upset.
Let them judge you.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them gossip about you, Let them ignore you.
Let them be “right.”
Let them doubt you.
Let them not like you.
Let them not speak to you.
Let them run your name in the ground.
Let them make you out to be the villain.
Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!
Kindly step aside and LET THEM.
*The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. And they just simply don’t care. *They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you.*
And they did it anyway. People that love you care about how they make you feel. The end.
Let them go.
There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they’ve done to you.
Let them go.
The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of acountability was the closure. The lack of honesty was the closure.
Let them go.
Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go.
You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with.
Let them go.
You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows. Let God fight the battle for you.
Let them go.
It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection, self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.
If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves. Because healed people do in fact heal people.
Don’t you dare let them steal your joy.
Don’t you dare let them steal your light.
Don’t you dare let them steal your peace.
You are in control of that.
Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.
Let them. 🖤
Thank You ! I needed this today….
After a couple of long term relationships married to narcissists … I’ve finally broken free & over the past 20 years I’ve learned to love & respect myself 1st while also holding love for them by seeing the part of them I fell in love with. I had to heal over many years & see myself as a loving person to be able to let go of the hatred I felt towards them. It wasn’t an easy journey & I still have days I stumble back but never to the point I’d fall for another! 💗
Me: Please stop insulting, bearing, and belittling me
Him: It’s not an insult if it’s the truth.
Me: This marriage cannot continue. I will be seeking a divorce.
Him: I haven’t been mean.
I am passing through the 8th stage of a narc-empath relationship. I am an empath whereas my husband is a narc !! Though I haven’t ended my marriage yet I have set myself free. We are living as strangers under one roof. He has gotten a very clear message from me “I am not allowing him to damage me any further.” I am still struggling with other issues BUT they are in no way related to him. As I emerged strong after all the traumas and mental tortures I have gone through in past 29 years I find him a very weak man lying there gasping for his life. To all ladies who are struggling with a narcissist my advice is “STOP REACTING TO THEIR PROVOCATIVE BEHAVIOUR & MENTAL ASSAULTS. DON’T GIVE THEM THE POWER TO AGITATE YOU LET ALONE BREAK U DOWN.. Your peaceful demeanor is enough to agitate following breaking down of his EGO. STAY CALM & PEACEFUL ALWAYS NOT ONLY APPARENTLY BUT FROM WITHIN TOO. Practice meditation & other healing modalities to build your strength. Believe me they work !!!
Good Luck to you all 😊👍
Wow.
So true but how an empath can end this relationship.
It seems to be very challenging.
How am i supposed to react to her making suggestive dancing video’s, that the world can see.? Am i a narc because i won’t accept that ? Am i trying to control her if it hurts me to see and watch her get hundreds of requests to be her friend. Am i a NARC. or am i trying to control her by not wanting her to make theses video’s? Doesn’t my feelings count too.? make this public i need answers . [email protected]
that fits my past relationship to the word….
it’s been 4 weeks now with no contact from me.
I have had hundreds of missed calls from private number then some from her. she is blocked on my phone email social media everywhere a she still trys to call me.
she drives past my work.
it’s hard for me to stay away however I am doing it. part of me wants to talk to her to comfit her however there’s a bigger part that’s growing everyday that knows it for the best.
all my friends that I was isolated from are backing me to stay strong and not contact her.
some days I struggle to the point where I just come home and hide however these days are few now and I am starting to feel like me again.
I see her around and I know what she is roughly doing and it makes me a little anger that if I said anything to her she would lie and turn it onto me….
I belive in karma and know that I am going to be successful in my life without her now.
to anyone going through this….
PLEASE BELIVE YOU CAN DO IT !!!
YES ITS HARD HOWEVER YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAT A DOOR MAT !!!!
i feel it and still struggling to break free from him as stage 7 said..already went to court but he didn’t want to come..second hearing is on 24th nov but he also said that he won’t come..i’ll try to be patient and wait for the day he will let me go in peace..8 years in toxic marriage..i can’t take it no more..mentally tortured..
I have been in this relationship for 42 years. I’m numb to my narcissistic husband and don’t even hear him anymore. he blames everything wrong In our life on our grown daughter.. he has driven away friends and family because of his verbal abuse towards me. he plays the victim. he has even been turned into APS by nurses and medical professionals because of verbal abuse he doesn’t see. I have left the situation but being who I am, am debating on going back to see if he has changed for the better. my mind says he will never change but my heart wants to give him a chance. im torn
Iam in a relationship my partner tells lies he got no money he wants people to feel sorry for I have asked him to leave but he says can’t until car fix and I get payed I live in my bedroom no comuation atall
I was married to my narcissist for almost 38 years. He was my soulmate until we got married, gave me gifts, we could talk about anything, left me love notes, etc but, the day we got married he turned mean and hateful with rages that happened on a regular basis and no reason for it. He would turn my words around and say ” you said this’ which was so far off from what i said. The ultimate act of evil was on the night of May 16, 2024 when he ran into his bedroom, grabbed his gun and pointed it at me. He was too much a coward to pull the trigger at me but instead put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.
From my exp., women are always more narcissistic than men