A good man would never do these things
You can’t help who you fall in love with. And sometimes, you might end up falling for someone who is bad for you and as unfortunate a situation as that might be, it’s still something that happens all too often. There are so many kinds of terrible people out there, but there are very few who are worse than the narcissists of the world. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to fall in love with a narcissist, then you know just how terrible and toxic being in a relationship with one really is. You are essentially getting into a relationship with someone who is self-obsessed; a person who only cares about themselves. It’s a me not we type of situation whenever you’re with him and you can get fed up of that behavior fairly quickly. But being with a narcissist can be so emotionally draining that even when you end your relationship, you’re going to have difficulty finding your way back into a healthy relationship again.
You might not see it right away, but being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist can have heavy negative effects on the way that you go about your own life. You are somehow made to believe that you are less significant than the people around you; as if your needs don’t matter as much as those of others. And it can take some time and effort to break away from those unhealthy philosophies. These emotional effects are especially going to become clear to you when you start dating other people again. You will be given a stark contrast of what it’s like to date a great guy and a guy who is absolutely narcissistic.
Here are some things that you can expect to learn about being in a relationship with a great guy after dating a narcissist:
1. The good guy always expresses his confidence in you.
He is always going to make you believe that he genuinely believes in you. He is never going to belittle or demean your capabilities. He isn’t going to feed into your insecurities. He isn’t going to be withholding of his praise. He will put his trust in you and he will make you believe in his faith in you.
2. The good guy will do anything to earn and build your trust in him.
The narcissist won’t care much for earning your trust. Because in reality, he doesn’t care much of what you think of him. He only cares about what he thinks of himself.
3. The good guy will be kind to you whenever and wherever.
Kindness is something that comes innately to the good guy. But the narcissist is only ever kind to you whenever he feels like he can get something out of it.
4. The good guy makes an effort to hear out whatever you want to say.
The good guy is going to listen to you whenever you want to talk or express something. But the narcissist is only ever really interested in what they have to think or say about anything. He won’t listen to you especially if your views contradicts his own.
5. The good guy has no problems with apologizing when he’s in the wrong.
The narcissist will believe that he is always in the right and he will never apologize. The good guy acknowledges his faults and owns up to them.
6. The good guy is going to spoil and pamper you.
The narcissist is too busy caring for himself and he has no time to take care of you. But the good guy is always going to put your well-being and happiness above his own.
7. The good guy is humble.
He is always going to be humble. A narcissist isn’t going to be afraid to boast of his achievements however big or small. A narcissist is insensitive and he would willingly say anything to put other people down just to lift himself up. But a great guy is humble. He knows his place in the world and he knows he has his limitations.
8. The good guy will spread positive vibes wherever he goes.
The narcissist is always going to bring about negative energy when interacting with other people. He will try to put other people down. He will make himself look good but he will do his best to make others look bad.
9. The good guy doesn’t use emotions as a tool for manipulating you.
The good guy will always be mindful of your feelings. He is sensitive and he cares about your state of emotions. But the narcissist is going to milk whatever he can out of you. He will capitalize on your weaknesses to get what he wants.
10. The good guy is going to open your eyes to what it really means to fall in love.
When you get into a relationship with a good guy, he’s really going to be able to make you see what it means to fall in love for real. And it will be like nothing you have every known.
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Sounds all impossible to me. Maybe it’s because after experiencing such cruelty with a narcissist in Tampere, Finland, all faith in others is shattered. Harri Mutka is a covert narcissist and as he grows older, the more vicious he becomes.