It’s always going to take a lot of work and commitment in order to ensure the health and strength of a relationship. All relationships are going to go through their fair share of struggles and setbacks. That’s perfectly normal. However, for the most part, you should still be enjoying your relationship overall. You should still make it a point to pursue happiness in your relationship. Because sometimes, a relationship just isn’t going to be worth it if it’s way too bad.
You don’t want to be so quick to throw a relationship away just because things get a little difficult. You always want to be strong enough to see things through. However, you also have to be strong enough to walk away from a relationship that just isn’t right for you. If you notice that a lot of the signs that are listed here actually apply to your relationship, then perhaps you should rethink your place in the relationship as a whole.
1. You engage in passive-aggressive behavior.
There should never be any room for passive-aggressive behavior in a relationship. Two people who are genuinely in love with one another would always make it a point to be communicative and open with one another. You should always feel comfortable with just being straight or honest with one another about everything. A failure to do so would be a terrible sign for your relationship as a whole.
2. You don’t forgive after a fight.
Forgiveness is key in any kind of intimate relationship. You aren’t always going to be doing the right thing after all. You are bound to make mistakes. And it’s important to stay patient with one another as you make mistakes throughout the course of your relationship. Holding on to any ill feelings or bitterness towards a partner is a recipe for disaster. You must always be able to move past mistakes and shortcomings.
3. You insult your partner to make them feel bad.
There is always going to be room for criticism in any kind of relationship. However, criticism should always be coming from a place of genuine love or concern for another person. If you are just insulting one another for the sake of making each other feel bad, then you should seriously reconsider being in a relationship together. That isn’t a healthy relationship behavior at all.
4. You don’t pursue your own individual interests.
Just because you get into a relationship doesn’t mean that you should lose all sense of who you are as an individual. Both of you should still be making it a point to pursue your own individual interests. You must both be working hard at maintaining your individuality in spite of being in a relationship with each other.
5. You engage in a flirtation with other people.
There is no way that a romantic relationship would ever be functional or healthy if both parties don’t take active roles in staying committed and focused on one another. If either of you finds it acceptable to engage in a flirtation with other people, then you know that that is a really big problem.
6. You invalidate each other’s feelings and opinions.
You have a habit of not paying attention to one another. You invalidate your partner’s feelings and opinions. Instead of making them feel like you are receptive of whatever they have to say, you just block them out. You don’t make it feel like whatever they want to express is important or is of value.
7. You give your partner ultimatums.
Ultimatums should never be used in relationships as tools for you to get what you want. These are abusive and manipulative tactics that should have no place in any kind of romantic relationship whatsoever. You should never threaten your partner into doing anything and you should never hold your relationship hostage.
8. You keep score in the relationship.
If you do something nice for your partner, do so just because you want to make them happy. You shouldn’t be keeping score of everything that you do for one another. You shouldn’t be keeping count of the ways that you treat each other nicely in the relationship. It’s not a contest and you shouldn’t be competing with one another.
You should always make it a point to open up to one another. A reluctance to do so is an indicator of some very deep-seated issues of mistrust and discomfort in a relationship. A strong and healthy romance always has plenty of openness and honest communication.
10. You fail to show appreciation for one another.
Lastly, the relationship is truly dysfunctional if you don’t let your partner know just how much you appreciate having them in your life. If you truly love and value one another, then you wouldn’t just be taking each other for granted.