Have you been the victim of emotional abuse?
Abuse is tricky and it’s complex. It can manifest itself in relationships in ways that are subtle. They aren’t always going to be obvious and that’s why a lot of victims don’t actually realize that they are being victimized until it’s actually pointed out to them. Abuse isn’t always going to take a physical shape, and that’s why I can be really difficult to spot out for most people. When we fall in love with people, our feelings can often blind us from the truth and that’s where things can get really dangerous. We experience our partner’s abusive behavior but because of our love for them, we don’t really consider their behavior towards us to be abusive at all. And so you end up getting caught in an abusive relationship without even realizing it. That can leave a person to become very emotionally drained, stressed, and outright broken. So it’s very important for you to make yourself aware of the signs of abusive behavior. And when you see that your partner is creating an abusive atmosphere in the relationship, you have to be able to call them out on it. You have to tell them that they are being abusive and that they need to change or else you are going to walk out on them.
And it all starts with making yourself aware of the different forms of abuse that you could be prone to. You will never be able to fix a problem unless you are able to establish that the problem exists. In that sense, you can never fix an abusive relationship if you don’t know what abuse really looks like. Here are 10 things that your partner does to you which can be considered abusive.
1. They make important decisions with regards to how you manage your money.
It’s your money. You earn it. You work hard for it. You should get to decide how you spend it. Sure, you can ask your partner for financial advice. But they shouldn’t be completely taking full control over your finances.
2. They pressure you into committing to them even when you’re not ready.
They want to lock you down even when you’re not ready. They will want to rush you into committing to them even though you don’t feel like it’s the right time yet. They are insecure about losing you and so they will coerce you into committing to them.
3. They make you feel alone and solitary.
One huge indicator that your partner is abusing you is if they make you feel alone and isolated. They will want you to think that you can’t ask for help from anyone else and you really have no choice but to be stuck in the relationship.
4. They demand that you constantly keep them updated on your whereabouts and your company.
Your partner will never make you feel free to live your life without their approval. They will always boss you around about where you can go and who you can hang out with. They don’t trust you to make these decisions on your own.
5. They always blame everything bad that happens on you.
They will always find a way to pin the blame on you. They will refuse to assume responsibility for anything bad that happens in the relationship and so they will try to make you think that everything is your fault.
6. They don’t acknowledge or respect your moral values and principles.
They understand that you have your own ideology and world view but they would never respect it. They have a way of looking at things and they think that they are always going to be right. They don’t care about how you see things because they are too stubborn to do so.
7. They never make you feel like they trust you.
They will never make you feel like you can be free to act on your own accord. They will want you to believe that you have to rely on them to make your decisions for you. They will make you feel stupid, helpless, and incompetent so that you have to depend on them.
8. They willingly embarrass you in public just to get a laugh at your expense.
This means that they don’t care about the impact that their actions may have on you. It means that as long as they’re happy, they’re going to do it regardless of how you are going to feel as a result of it.
9. They feel entitled to dictating how you’re supposed to feel.
Even your own feelings will be subject to their discretion. They will want to establish full ownership of your soul by telling you what to think and feel about certain situations.
10. They refuse to engage in constructive arguments with you.
And lastly, they refuse to have any semblance of mature dialogue with you. They will make you believe that your thoughts and opinions don’t matter by refusing to engage in mature discussions with you. They will walk away from arguments with you to make you think that your opinions are invalid.
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Have you been abused? Talk to me in the comments below!