Ready to move on? Ask yourself these questions first.
Moving on is one of the hardest things to do, it takes a lot of strength to actually begin the process and takes more strength after it’s done. I’ve said this before, nothing in life is concrete or forever, and you need to be mentally prepared for the worst. Don’t let yourself get so deeply involved in anyone that when they decide to leave, you’re left with nothing, it’s all very traumatic and it’s all very real. This article is going to be for those people who are almost ready to move on and don’t want to continue their relationships, these are the eight things you need to ask yourself before moving on. Let’s begin.
10. Have I talked things out properly?
Before you even think of leaving someone or moving on, you need to have a heart to heart with your partner. Discuss your problems, tell them what’s bothering you, leave nothing inside and let it all out. See if you two can find a solution and can fix the relationship and make it as strong as it once was or even anything near to that relationship. Give them the benefit of the doubt, give them their fair chance of trying, if nothing else works out and you can’t do anything else about it, you can decide to take the step.
9. Am I doing the right thing?
Before you think about moving on, make sure you have the facts right. Why do you want to move on? Did they hurt you in a way that can’t be taken back? Did they ignore you in your hardest of times? What’s your reason for wanting to move on. And then take a look at yourself, could this possibly be your fault? Have you done enough for the relationship? Have you properly done your part? Don’t take any harsh decisions, ending a relationship isn’t easy and it takes a huge toll on both partners regardless of who made the mistake and who wanted to break up. So have some alone time and think about it, think about every possible scenario and once you know you’re doing the right thing, go ahead and take the step.
8. Can they be forgiven?
To forgive is divine. Everyone makes mistakes, even you do, it’s always good to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when someone hurts you to see why or how it happened. Do you think you can forgive them? Do you think they deserve a second chance with you? That’s something no one else can tell you because you know that person better than anyone else, if you think forgiveness is the right thing to do, then forgive them but be ready if things don’t go like you expected them to.
7. Am I going to be okay?
Of course you’re going to have your mourning period, when you constantly think about the relationship and the memories you made with your partner. But the real question to ask yourself here is if you’re going to be okay in the long run. Are you so emotionally attached with your partner that it’s going to have a long term effect on your life and your health? If so, then find out ways to make it work. If you definitively think you’ll be fine and you’re not completely dependent on them by now, go ahead and take the step.
6. Are they going to be okay?
Continued from my previous point, you need to ask yourself if your partner is going to be okay without you. You may be an independent person but what sort of a person is your partner? Are they the sort to not get out of bed until they get your morning message? Are they the sort to heavily rely on you on a daily basis and to take your input in the biggest of their decisions? The key here is to not be selfish. If you think your partner is completely dependent on you then have a talk with them to make things right, because no one should go through being so alone. If you think they’ll be okay or if the damage done was more than that then take the step.
5. Was I unfair?
Throughout our relationships, we unintentionally make a lot of mistakes that bring a few negative changes to our relationships and we later on find out when things get messy. Before you think of breaking up, ask yourself if you were unjust with your partner. Did you expect more from them than they could give? Did you have unreal expectations from your partner? Sometimes, we cause more damage than we know, so make sure you clear out everything in your own head before you have the talk and walk away. If you’ve been unjust, bring some changes in yourself and make yourself a better person. If you were the best person possible and still got hurt, leave.
4. Is it going to affect more people than I think?
This is the case in some relationships where family and friends are an integral part and are very involved in the relationship. Whenever you guys fight, someone is always there to patch things up between you two because they just want you two to be happy. Sometimes, a relationship is more than just two people, sometimes entire families are involved. The photos on the wall, the dinners, the holidays spent together, everything gets affected when something goes wrong. If you’re in said relationship, you need to think about more than yourself and your partner. Talk things out with them, you are going to hurt more people than you know. Of course, in certain situations you have no other option than to move on, and that’s when your family and friends will support you and understand you.
3. If they come back, will I take them back?
When you move on from a relationship, make sure you NEVER look back. Your ex, at some point, is going to communicate with you and will try to come back. It has happened with me and I went weak and let her back, she hurt me more than the last time. I learned my lesson and I’m trying to make you guys understand, break up with someone ONLY if you’re sure that the relationship you two had is over for good and can never happen again.
2. Is this becoming a habit?
Are you someone who breaks up at the first sight of trouble? Are you someone who’s always the one to end relationships because of some fear you have or something that happened in the past that’s someone else’s mistake? Is it becoming a vicious cycle? If it is then it’s never going to stop, no matter how good and understanding your partner is. You need to understand that no two people are the same, if someone else hurt you in the past it doesn’t mean you develop a protective shell around yourself for someone new to figure out, that’s not their responsibility and you shouldn’t put that burden on anyone’s head.
1. Am I expecting a “perfect relationship”?
There is no such thing as a “perfect relationship”. Ups and downs happen in even the strongest of relationships. Arguments and fights will naturally happen in every relationship, so if you’re moving on because you expect a fairy tale relationship or a perfect relationship, that’s never going to happen because there is no such thing in real life. Assess yourself enough before you decide to take the step. If you’re someone who has always had simple expectations from your partner and still got hurt, that’s a solid reason why you need to be with someone who cherishes you and why you need to move on.
Question of the day
We all have been there, we all have been hurt, how hard was your last break up and how long did it take for you to come back to normal? Leave your answers in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!