Sometimes, men can be clueless when it comes to deciphering how their women feel about them in relationships. And if you have ever been in a relationship with a guy before, then you would probably know just how much of a struggle it is. You so desperately want him to understand how you’re feeling, but he isn’t always going to get the message. Of course, you don’t want to come outright and say how you think because it’s something that you want him to realize on his own.
However, you also know that he might need a little extra help in getting the point. You don’t want to be spoon-feeding him, but you also don’t want to leave him to his own devices. Sometimes, in a relationship, you want him to be able to treat you a little better. And even when you try to tell him to do so, he still doesn’t do it. There will be a time wherein a man will need to be scared into the thought of losing you before he decides to clean up his act.
And if you want to scare your guy straight, then here are a few ways that you can go about doing so:
1. Stop making yourself overly available to him.
You don’t want to make him feel like you don’t have anything else going on in your life. If he ever asks you out, don’t just drop everything right away for him. After all, he has to know that you have other facets to your life that require your time, energy, and attention. It can’t just be all about him.
2. Stop replying to him right away.
It’s always a good thing whenever you make use of technology to communicate with your partner. After all, we are in the modern age of communication. However, you can’t also be preparing yourself so available to him in text messaging, either. Don’t make it seem as if you’re waiting by the phone for him to text you.
3. Make plans that don’t include him.
Sometimes, it’s good to remind him that you’re capable of making plans without him. This is going to let him know that you don’t need him and that he has to work hard to secure a place in your future. Otherwise, he’s just going to end up taking you for granted.
4. Refrain from being clingy.
Stop trying to be so clingy all the time. Not only will it be pathetic on your part, but he’s also going to hate it. Naturally, most dudes don’t want to be with a clingy girl. He’s going to value his freedom too. So, you have also to be able to give him his time and space to be on his own.
5. Be a little flirty with other guys.
Let him know that nothing is set in stone between the two of you. If he isn’t treating you right, then subtly remind him that you’re capable of getting with other guys as well. You shouldn’t cheat on him. That’s a big no-no. But a little flirtation here and there should be enough to serve as a warning to him.
6. Do some new things in the bedroom.
If there’s one thing that all men are afraid of losing, it’s sexual privileges. And if you remind him of how amazing you can be in the bedroom, then he’s going to think twice about losing you. Also, if you incorporate new stuff into your routine, he’s going to feel compelled to do the same.
7. Focus on yourself.
Try just focusing on yourself. Let him know that he doesn’t make up your entire world. Also, if you take some time to engage in self-care and self-love, he’s going to learn more about what he should be doing to make you feel loved as well.
8. Go hang out with your friends.
Your social life shouldn’t be made up entirely of just your boyfriend. Go and hang out with your friends. Of course, he needs to realize that you can still seek social fulfillment and companionship from other people. He shouldn’t get to be the only one who holds that card.
9. Never be a second priority.
Never allow yourself to be a second priority. For instance, if his boys cancel on a night out with him, and he goes to you as a backup, don’t be so available. Let him know that YOU are the priority here.
10. Stop saying “yes” all the time.
Learn to say no. Of course, when you’re in love with someone, you always want to do whatever you can to please them and make them happy. However, this might not be a good idea, as you might end up compromising your well-being in the process.
My Fiancé and I are in a long distance relationship but I truly believe he is terrible partner. I try to make him realize plenty of things he does is hurtful. Now he is 20 years younger and a doctor. But he never excepts responsibility he never thinks he’s wrong and he just always apologizes without knowing what he did! I’m perplexed
It’s happening because of lack of experience, and stop quarrelling with each other , just try to avoid and make him realise all the time that he’s doing wrong to you , let him realise that he’s doing something wrong , don’t always available for him all the time , just act like you don’t care , it will hurt him and he will realise he is loosing you. If he truly want to be with you he will change his behaviour and if not then trust the timing of god , he is definitely planning something bigger for you , you deserve better whether if it’s a changed person or a new person.
Just say goodbye instead of all tte dramas above. Be honest and clear.
You sound smart I like you 😉
Lila you sound like the perfect woman
Number 5 is essentially the doorway to cheating. Instead of flirting with other guys, simply have the maturity to communicate what you want, people seem to think that relationships simply happen on their own, they don’t they take:
consistent effort
honest and mature communication (learning how to is not that difficult really)
setting clear boundaries
talking about what you want from each other and the relationship as a whole.
If you just started talking to a person, then keeping one’s options open is fine. Not when you’re in a committed relationship.
Completely agree. No one wants to hurt someone’s feelings, but by not saying what is hurting you, they don’t have a crystal ball and are not mind readers. Say precisely what you want and what you expect. Either you can work through it together or realize that you are not a good match. Relationships aren’t about finding the person who will be a perfect match for you, but they will be willing to work on themselves to become a better human being. Not for you- for themselves. After all, from the time we were born, our parents have been helping us grow into independent people, learning to take care of ourselves and knowing right from wrong. Our close friends and help mates- soul mates- life partners- are to help shape us and grow us into wanting to become better people, not for ourselves but for the people we share our lives with. “Accept me how I am or to heck with you!”And sure, that can be true, but the most important thing in life is our ability to WANT to continue to grow and learn and become a better person so we can enjoy life with people we love and they love us. But if we are just self-centered assholes our circle of people will be very small. Like maybe you and your car or goldfish. Pride/Ego is the biggest relationship killer. Its ugly and cruel. And it is the modern-day villain in relationships. Adults need to be held accountable to who they are, how they treat others, and be responsible for making their committed relationships last instead of taking the easy way out and not facing your demons head on and talk about it.
I am a man and my relationship of 27 years is on the edge I am trying to save it but if my wife did eny of these things that you said I would stop amedeatly and davorce her and never look back take it from me lady’s don’t listen to this person they are 1000persent Rong and you will with out a doubt lose your man you see those tipe of games are what make men hate woman this person most likely voted for Joe Biden because they sound just like him (trying to harm you)
I agree. Thank you Danny …I fell in love with my very recent ex because she made me feel bigger and better than I truly am and I loved the way she told me she craved me and then put those words into actions …I have never felt the way she made me feel , especially when I first met her .It was positive ,and a light that would make my light shine …I came from a 2 year relationship,so I called it , with a woman that constantly cheated on me and lived a completely different life than how she was when I was aroind ..I t was def my fault that she did it more than once or even the one time ..I settled for the way she made me feel in the bedroom .I was so proud of myself when I was capable of walking away from her …it really have me a few days to feel free and that’s when I see a dear friend show up in my friend suggestion,and without hesitation I sent her a message cuz it had been over 2 and ahalf years since I seen her last …of course both of us were not living the best lives for ourselves but seeing each other sparked up a lot of feel good energy …I know that was a God intervention cuz she came with me and got out of a very dangerous situation ….the thing was that I noticed she loved to be on her phone ,snapping pictures ,flirting with whoever it was .then I got this urge to call my ex and going down to see her with my girlfriend Knowing,and I allowed my ex to manipulate me into coming back to her and gave me a ultimatum…that was a horrible feeling to have to look at both situations and picking the ex because she def was more mature and she made her own money , but it was also horrible cuz I knew I was going to hurt my friend and act in a way I never wanted to towards her …I took her for granted 🙁
Fortunately 1 month later I was able to make an amends to her which gave us another shot …I loved the way she was pissed at me but she also understood and our friendship was enough to move past it …she promised me she would never do what the other girl did to me and I believed her …I tried real hard at first not to question her phone calls or who they were because I did that with the other one and wanted to have a new ex experience but I also became passive and would bottle up my real feelings about that till they came out in other ways like making rude comments about her friends or trying to make keep her away from these people I really didn’t want to know …but it ended up my discernment was very real , she was sending pics and talking in ways that were not right for a relationship … I was so hurt , so much more hurt by her than the other ever made me feel …I had to sitfor 3 hours while looking at her phones seeing what she was doing ….but I was forgiving because how I had left her …I I forgave her and she promised to never to that to me again ,but It changed the whole course by killing the way were to each other …I put on my worry head and we decided together that either one of us should have the social media apps where she had been doing her thing …she really made me feel like none of that was more important than me and eased my mind for a short time till her phone rang or she got a text …it made me cringe and get overly cautious of her people that she knew …there’s a lot more to this story but I will need to come back later to finish it …thank you
Twitch…I too was cheated on for 3years. I also had the privilege of seeing and watching their greatest hits. It haunts me still to this day. It’s something you can never get over. It’s been three years and it still lingers. Liars and cheaters NEVER change. They only become better versions of themselves. Meaning better liars, and still more vile behavior behind your back all while looking you dead in the eye and denying it is happening. Especially when they have no remorse or guilt for the level of betrayal they have done to you. Once it happens, it’s over brother. Trust is gone. The knowledge of her with another man. Actually SEEING it will never go away. Ever. I am currently in the depression stage eagerly trying to get to acceptance and be done once and for all with it. If you are with someone who can cheat on you and not think twice, they are the lowest form of humanity and there’s no reason to ever give them any part of you ever again. They didn’t value it the first time. What makes you think it will ever change? It won’t.
Thanks writer for your helpful ideas. I will definitely try this things to my partner,and see what will he act in return. This will be my last shot, but if it things don’t go as planned fate is already telling me his not the one.