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10 things to know when you’re dating a shy girl

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The general rules of dating a shy guy are applicable to dating a shy girl as well, here are the things that need to be taken care of if your lady love is shy and you want to bring her beyond her inhibitions.

10. Don’t mix shyness with arrogance

When you first start seeing her and try to engage her in a conversation but get small replies, do not confuse it with being rude or arrogant unless she actually snaps at you. People who are shy are generally considered high headed, but that is not the case most of the time. It’s just that they take their time opening up and feel vulnerable in exposing themselves to everyone. Don’t over analyze the situation.

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9. Lower your expectations

Understand that this girl is a bit different from the other girls you have dated or have around as friends. Don’t expect her to be chatting her lungs off like most girls would, she is reserved, she is hesitant. When you start going out with her don’t leave her with a daunting question like where do you wanna go? or which movie should we watch? It might sound like a simple question to you but there are a million things she is already pretty nervous about, so give her time to open up and just choose the restaurant. Don’t get disappointed if she isn’t as outgoing as you would like her to be, give her time and things will fall into place eventually. Remember you like her for her, not for her confidence level.

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8. Be generous with compliments

This step is like a general dating etiquette of dating any woman but it holds more importance in case of a shy girl. The minute you see her tell her how beautiful she looks or how good she smells, this will boost her confidence and set a happy mood at the very beginning of the date.

7. Maintaining eye contact

This is very important in case of a shy guy but quite the opposite in case of a shy girl. If you try to look straight into her eyes and try to make eye contact for a longer period, she may look away. What you need to understand is, this is not because she has a lack of interest in you but because she feels exposed to you, she thinks that you can now read her mind and she is not comfortable in letting you do so, yet. Let her ease into it and don’t get put off by this.

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6. Be careful with the jokes


Generally, it is considered attractive to be playful and crack jokes around your date but this might not be true in case of a shy girl. You might be mocking her just for fun but it might hurt her feelings, if you do feel like being funny around her at least choose your words carefully. Avoid making condescending jokes at all costs! Save your sense of humour for later and you shall be good.

5. Earn her trust

This can be the hardest part of dating a shy girl but you can do this by telling her more about yourself, involving her in your life decisions, telling her your secrets, giving her respect and most importantly by not lying to her. Be honest and caring in your conversation and in your responses. Be a reliable partner to her and you will be able to earn her trust in no time and its going to be worth every effort.

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4. Respect her space

You might want to work your charm off and try to impress her by asking all kinds of questions about her life or making a small physical move, even if it’s just holding her hand. This might not be a good idea and might just make her anxious. Give her lots and lots of space, let her ease into it. Don’t try to barge into her personal space, she’ll let you in her domain once she feels like she can trust you. Don’t be hard on her.

3. If she is verbally shy

A girl who is shy doesn’t like loud parties, huge gatherings etc. She might want to open up to you but her surroundings could be too strong for her. Take her to a place where she can be heard, where you can easily have a conversation. Once you have her one on one, initiate the conversation with light topics, do not start off by asking her about her ex or a dead loved one. Always address her by her name, this helps people feel closer to each other.

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2. Listen to her

This stays true for dating in general but especially true if you want your shy date to open up. Make them feel important, always pay attention to the small details and try to remember them. Listen to everything she says with interest and don’t let anything else distract you. Shy people often feel invisible, don’t let her feel that way when she is with you, make her your number one, your priority.

1. Don’t rush into things

This applies to both their mental space and their physical space. Bombarding them with too many questions or trying to kiss them on the second or even the third date is a bad idea. Let them first be comfortable around you, let them proceed according to their nature, don’t be overwhelming. Also shy girls have a hard time saying no, so learn to pick up on the subtle hints for example if you ask her ‘How about we have another round of drinks?’ and she replies with ‘Err.. I’m not so sure about it’ or ‘I don’t like hangovers’, this definitely means a no, so let it be and don’t force her to do something she isn’t feeling up for.

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