10 Things To Remember When You Love a Person Who Has Depression
Depression is not something that people can just choose to have or get rid of.
Depression can be such a slippery slope especially for people who are generally ignorant or misinformed about this mental illness. This is a phenomenon that has managed to damage the lives of so many people, and yet, a huge bulk of individuals still carry false perspectives on the issue. Depression can be found even in the most unlikely of people and we must always tread lightly around them. We must always practice full compassion and empathy for these people. We have to be sensitive of their feelings and know that whatever we say or do can greatly affect them.
1. No one ever chooses to be depressed or not.
Depression is not something that people can just choose to have or get rid of. There isn’t a switch that you can flip up or down. Depression isn’t something that you can turn off whenever it gets uncomfortable. No one ever chooses to become depressed. Depression comes even when you don’t expect, and if you’re not strong enough, it can consume your entire being. So it doesn’t make sense for you to just tell people with depression to look on the bright side and expect them to follow you.
2. You can’t just tell them that things are going to be fine.
You don’t really know for sure. Even they aren’t certain how things are going to turn out for them in the future. You don’t know what’s going on in their minds and you can’t assume anything. Instead, confirm this uncertainty with your partner and just let them know that for whatever things you can control, you will be there.
3. As much as you want to help them, people with depression might push you away at first.
People with depression never want to infect other people with their negativity. They know that they have demons inside their soul and they don’t want other people to be affected by these demons. That’s why they will try to isolate themselves as much as possible. They don’t want to serve as burdens to other people. They think it is their sole responsibility to deal with their depression. However, you have to persist in letting your partner know that you are in it together and that you aren’t going anywhere. – Continue reading on the next page
4. It can be frustrating when dealing with a person with depression; and that’s okay.
You don’t have to suppress your frustrations when you’re dealing with a person with depression. It’s perfectly understandable for you to get frustrated with dealing with something you don’t fully understand. You don’t have to feel guilty about being angry or upset. You just have to practice as much patience and compassion as you can so as not to overwhelm your partner.
5. Establish proper ground rules and boundaries in your relationship.
People who deal with depression need to be given their own personal space to operate. You can’t afford to suffocate a person with depression with your own expectations and needs in a relationship. You have to be able to work as a team and come up with proper boundaries for each other. Express your needs and expectations from the relationship and work hard at trying to make the dynamics of your union work.
6. People with depression are very vulnerable to getting hurt.
Be sensitive of what you say when you are around a person dealing with depression. You never know when your words or actions can trigger destructive tendencies in depressed people. You always have to practice utmost care with how you phrase your sentences and the language that you use to express yourself.
7. Their depression isn’t dependent on you.
Whether or not your partner has depression doesn’t depend on you. Their depression can come and go regardless of whether or not you are in your partner’s life. Don’t ever delude yourself with the thought that your partner’s depression is about you. It’s never about you. – Continue reading on the next page
8. Never play the bad cop role.
Negative reinforcement doesn’t work with people who are dealing with depression. You can’t afford to give them tough love. They will only shrink further because of the pressure. They are delicate enough as it is. You have to practice maximum patience and compassion when dealing with people who are battling depression.
9. They like to be asked how they’re feeling even when they act reluctant to share.
Even though people with depression might seem like the ones who don’t want to talk about their feelings, they know that conversations about their emotions can be very helpful. That’s why it’s important for you to always establish open lines of communication with your partner. Let your partner know that you are always available for a talk whenever needed.
10. People with depression are not weak.
In fact, people who are forced to deal with depression might be some of the strongest people you will ever get to meet. Plenty of people succumb to the pressures of this mental disease. That’s why you have to be proud of the days your partner chooses to fight and conquer life in spite of this mental illness. Depression has crippled so many people and it takes a person of incredible strength to withstand the pressures of a life with depression.
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Have you been with someone with depression? How do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments below!