It’s always so hard whenever the man you love decides to cheat on you. You allow yourself to get vulnerable with someone; you grow to really trust and become attached to a person – and that same person just betrays you by cheating on you. You thought that you had a solid relationship that you could really rely on. You thought that you had a guy who was really committed to being with you; someone who you knew would never be playing around with you. Unfortunately, you thought wrong. Your entire world has been turned upside down by the man you thought you could always depend on.
And now, you’re feeling lost. You’re feeling confused. You’re feeling disoriented. You’re unfamiliar with this situation that you’re in; and you’re trying to make sense of everything that you’re feeling. You are going through some kind of emotional whirlwind and you are desperately trying to calm everything down. But you can’t. You’re feeling hurt. You’re feeling betrayed and underappreciated. You are feeling worthless and sad. You really want to be okay again and you don’t know what you have to do to be happy.
Well, we all heal in our own very specific and unique ways. As human beings, we don’t really go through the same healing processes. And that’s why some of us heal faster and more effortlessly than others. However, even though we all have different healing techniques, there are some general rules that you have to follow throughout this process. Here are a few things that you should AVOID doing when you have just been cheated on by the guy that you love.
1. Don’t seek revenge.
Revenge isn’t really going to make you feel better. It’s not going to help improve the situation. In fact, it can be downright toxic and self-destructive. Yes, you are feeling a lot of anger. But you shouldn’t be letting your anger get the best of you. Always try to be the better person.
2. Don’t let yourself fall apart.
Don’t let your whole life crumble to the ground because of this. Yes, it was an unfortunate incident. But know that your relationship comprises only one aspect of your life. You still need to be able to keep things together.
3. Don’t play the victim.
Yes, it wasn’t your fault. Yes, you are the victim in this situation. But that doesn’t mean that you have to act like a victim. You should always lift your head up and maintain your sense of dignity. Just because you feel worthless doesn’t mean you have to act like it.
4. Don’t let anyone else get caught in the crosshairs.
Avoid collateral damage. Don’t hurt the people around you just because you happen to be hurting as well.
5. Don’t let other people tell you how to move on.
A lot of people are going to want to guide you and help you. A lot of people who love you will want to give you advice and tell you what to do. And it’s important that you maintain an open mind with them. But always stand your ground. You shouldn’t let other people boss you around and tell you how to heal.
6. Don’t ignore or forget what just took place.
It’s important to forgive – eventually. You don’t want to be carrying that baggage with you moving on. You don’t want to be carrying all of hat extra emotional weight on your shoulders. Let go of that hatred; but don’t let go of the memories and lessons that you have to gain from it all.
7. Don’t think that you can go back to the way that things were.
It would be a mistake for you to think that you and your partner can somehow erase everything and go back to the way things were. Yes, you still have a shot at making things work. But don’t delude yourself into thinking that you will be able to make it seem like the cheating never took place.
8. Don’t dismiss the idea of seeking professional therapy.
There will be certain problems and issues in your relationship that you and your partner might not necessarily be able to address on your own. There is no shame in seeking the professional help from a licensed expert on the matter.
9. Don’t neglect your sense of well-being.
Always make yourself the priority. Never neglect your own personal well-being and self-care. Always take care of yourself and make sure that you are meeting your own needs. At the end of the day, you still need to make sure that you have your own back. You still need to be self-reliant and independent.
10. Don’t speed through the healing process.
Healing can be instantaneous and quick. Healing can also be slow and painful. There is no “right” way to heal except the way that works for you. All you have to keep in mind is that we all heal at different rates. And you shouldn’t be ashamed of taking your time for the meantime.
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What did you do after? Tell me in the comments below!