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10 Tips To Help Settle Your Nerves Before A First Date

Relationship Rules Editorial Team Relationship Rules Editorial Team | November 24, 2017 | 5 min read

First date jitters are very real.

It doesn’t matter how experienced you are in dating. First dates are high-pressure social situations and they have the power to make absolutely anyone nervous. This can be especially prevalent for those who have been interested or crushing on their dates for the longest time. Sometimes, the anticipation has a way of building unnoticed nerves within a person; and all of those nerves only come to the surface when things start getting real. And often, a person’s anxiety and nervousness can be incredibly crippling and compromising. There are so many first dates that end up disastrous just because people aren’t able to contain their nerves and their feelings well. And when that happens, it’s such an awful waste.

Nerves about a date are easily addressed. If they can’t be eliminated entirely, they can always be contained and managed somehow. If you need some help managing your nerves before a date, then you need to read and follow these tips:

1. Go to a place you are already familiar with.

Home-court advantage is a real thing not only in sports, but in dates as well. It would be a lot more stressful for you to be going out on a first date in a place that you find unfamiliar and strange. Go to a restaurant, bar, or movie theatre that you’ve been to before, and things will be easier for you to bear.

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2. Get the body moving before going on the date.

Get those endorphins running by hitting the gym and elevating that heart rate. One of the best ways to combat nerves is to channel all of that nervous energy into mechanical energy. Get your body moving and trigger those happy hormones inside of you. You will end up feeling great as you go into your date.

3. Keep yourself busy prior to the date.

Keep your hands busy. Keep your mind busy. Be sure to keep yourself active just to take your minds off of things. The more that you think about your anxieties and stresses, the more destructive they end up being on your consciousness. Make sure to find distractions so you don’t dwell on your nervousness.

4. Take a little liquid courage to help loosen you up beforehand.

Alcohol is your best friend (when taken in moderation, of course). You don’t want to go overboard. Don’t be downing shots of tequila before a date. That’s a bad idea. Go for either a shot of whiskey, a glass of wine, or a bottle of beer just drink enough to take the edge of but not too much wherein you start becoming mentally impaired.

5. Keep your calming playlist at bay.

Music is always going to be a good stress reliever for a lot of people. Start playing your soothing music on your Spotify as you’re on your way to meet your date. Music will do a lot of good for your soul.

6. Be mindful of your breathing.

Take a deep breath. There’s a reason why those yogis are so calm all the time. They really know how to be mindful of their breathing. If you find yourself getting a little stressed out, just remember to extend your breaths and be mindful of them. You will find that it’s a quick and easy hack to calming your nerves.

7. Choose to not acknowledge your anxieties.

Sometimes, getting rid of stress is as easy as just deciding that you don’t want them. Remember that you are the only one who can give genuine power to your anxieties. If you just refuse to give them power by saying that you don’t acknowledge their impact on your life, then it just might work for you.

8. Approach the date with as casual a disposition as possible.

You don’t want to come off as too strong. You don’t want to approach the date with sheer romantic intensity. You want to be calm and you want to stay relaxed. Think of the first date as meeting a friend for the first time and maybe that can help calm you down. Sometimes, it’s all a matter of adjusting your perspective of a stressful situation to make things easier.

9. Remember that your date is probably nervous as well.

If you’re nervous, then your date is probably nervous too. If you keep this in mind, then at least you know that you’re not alone in your anxieties, and you have someone with whom you can bear the struggle with. It really helps to know that you’re not alone with your struggles.

10. Don’t get to attached to the idea of a future you might have together.

Manage your expectations effectively. You shouldn’t be going into a first date thinking about courtships, engagements, marriages, and families. You should learn to just take things as they come. Don’t attach yourself to unreasonable expectations. Relationships always need to be slow and meticulous. You can’t afford to be rushing into anything. As you navigate the early signs of true love, it’s important to remain grounded and savor each moment. Focus on building a solid foundation of friendship and trust, allowing genuine feelings to grow at their own pace. In doing so, you’ll create an enriching experience that fosters deeper connections rather than overwhelming pressure. To achieve this, consider incorporating emotional connection building strategies that emphasize active listening and shared experiences. Engaging in open conversations about your values and aspirations can help in establishing a more profound bond. By prioritizing these strategies, you lay the groundwork for a lasting relationship based on understanding and support.

Talk to me

How was your first date? Talk to me in the comments below!


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Relationship Rules Editorial Team
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Relationship Rules Editorial Team

The Relationship Rules Editorial Team is made up of writers, researchers, and relationship enthusiasts who have been covering love, connection, and personal growth since 2012. Based in Singapore, the team draws on real-world observation, reader experiences, and established relationship psychology to create content that is honest, practical, and grounded. All articles are reviewed for accuracy, tone, and balance before publication. Learn more about how we work on our Editorial Standards page.