10 ways some men badly fail in relationships
Here are some terrible mistakes men make.
Mistakes are inevitable. And at the same time they are forgivable. But what if you don’t even know that you’re doing something wrong, or don’t realise it, or are simply ignorant. How can you apologise for something that you don’t apprehend to be wrong? Relationships are sensitive business. Men do understand that but they have these false impressions in their mind about how to handle a relationship. And by acting on them, they are damaging their relationships to the point of no return without a clue.
A few examples of such mistakes are as follows:
1. You NEED to get heard at all costs
You’re just sitting there, hearing her go on and on and on, just waiting for your turn to speak, and some of you don’t even extend that courtesy. So even though, you’re not listening to her, she is obliged to hold on to every word you say, simply because what you say matters the most. And what is worse than pretending to be listening? All the distractions! Your phones, the TV screens or something happening outside that obviously needs your attention more than the girl sitting across from you.
2. Feelings are better off bottled up!
If ever she randomly tells you how much you mean to her, that’s all on her. You are not responsible for how she feels, and you’re obviously not indebted to respond either. Because the real trouble begins when you let your guard down, let her in on your thoughts and emotions, so better keep them at bay!
This is completely absurd. Relationships are a sanctuary, where you can share all sorts of things with each other. Your position isn’t weakened in any way. And when you choose not to reciprocate her affection, you’re only telling her that you’re not all that into her. You’re pushing her away!
3. Emotional intimacy is a no-no
Let’s keep the dates like they ought to be. Getting to know each other is to be kept off the table. What in the world are you going to do about the places, music, movies or books she likes?! You don’t need to know. You’re together and that should be enough for the both of you.
Lack of emotional intimacy creates a void in the relationship. Even though you’re together, you never really are, there is always a distance separating the two of you. If you don’t know each other, how is it going to progress? Learn each other inside out! (Gradually of course). Not only will you be closer to each other, but you will have so much to talk about and do together. – Continue reading on the next page
4. Misquote, misinterpret and misunderstand
At the worst time possible, like during an argument, bring up something she said and give it a completely different meaning. What beats this is bringing up something that she never even said! It’s not only convenient, but how would she defend something she never even said.
Don’t give the things she says the wrong meaning. Even if you think a certain way, talk it over with her. If she can’t talk to you about certain things, who else would she go to? Try and understand what she tells you.
5. Who needs appreciation? Not your girl at least
You don’t have the time to notice what she’s wearing or how she has done her hair or how she is looking. So why should she expect you to compliment her? If she has conjured up some sort of idea that if she is doing something different for you or even herself, and that you should appreciate it, it’s really her fault. She shouldn’t have to depend on your approval.
She does not need your approval. But it wouldn’t hurt you to compliment her every now and then. You’d love the same for yourself, then why not her too. Tell her that you find her attractive and that you notice the things that she does. If nothing else, do it to put a smile on herself.
6. You can never do anything wrong
She’s the one who’s actually wrong in even thinking that you could ever make a mistake. You’re above that. And she should know better. And even if you ever do make a mistake (by mistake of course), you shouldn’t have to apologize. You’re allowed to make a few mistakes. And even then she is responsible for the mistakes you make. Apologies aren’t even necessary unless it’s her who’s on the fault.
You can’t defy human nature. You will make mistakes, most likely plenty of them. Learn to own up to them. Apologise and mean it and don’t forget to make up for them.
7. You shouldn’t have to thank her
Anything she does for you, it’s her duty to do so. You don’t owe her any thanks. Let’s not allow her to get carried away. Because then she’d want to you to be grateful for every single thing she does for you. That sure does sound consuming, let’s not get sucked into that.
A little appreciation never hurt anyone. If anything, she’d become even more attentive towards you. She’d go out of her way to do things for you. Value her efforts and respect the sentiments behind them. – Continue reading on next page
8. Keep your place cluttered
You’re actually doing her a favor by keeping the place messed up. This would keep her occupied. After all, she willingly signed up to care for you. She shouldn’t have a problem with the chaos. Cleaning up after you is the least she can do for you as a partner.
You’re a grown man, who should be able to take care of his needs. You live there too. The mess should bother you as well. Don’t make it in the first place, and if you do learn to clean up after yourself. – Continue reading on next page
9. What you do holds the most importance
Sure she might have a job and manages the home at the same time, but does she do something as important as you? NO! You have a job and then help around the house as well; she could never match up to that.
Acknowledge the things that she does for you, the relationship and your place. Cut her some slack. It’s not easy for her to manage everything at once. Try relieving her at times. – Continue reading on next page
10. The three damned words!
Why would you want to ruin a perfectly healthy relationship by saying I Love You! You don’t want to give her the wrong idea. You’re not one to settle down. She shouldn’t try to trap into a long term commitment. Why would you want to have a future with a woman you love? It doesn’t make sense.
Trust the magic of these words instead. You want her to be around and this is how you can keep her around. You’ll feel differently about spending all your life with her in due time. Just give it a chance.
If this is what you’ve been doing all along, a change in your ways is long overdue. Do not allow your mistakes to ruin a relationship with potential. These are rare to have. Acknowledge your mistakes, correct them and do not repeat them ever again. Most of all, treat her well!