Being someone who has seen relationships suffer since the age of 13 because of cheating.В Being someone who has been cheated on with numerous people.В I can tell you so much about it that no one can otherwise.
For starters, nothing good will ever come out of it. If you think you have suddenly found LOVE’ somewhere, even though you are in a relationship. Trust me, that’s something your heart tells you in order to justify your act.
You have not suddenly found love, in fact, you have found the same intimacy and affection that you and your partner had stopped sharing. The intimacy and affection you both thought you were giving each other and that there was no need to put in continuous effort.
Relationships require and demand consistent, constant and conscious efforts. You need to take out time for your partner, be there for them, love and be loved. If you are not doing all of that, then you will get attracted to absolutely anyone, who gives you this, mistaking it for true love’.
If you really want to save yourselves a lifelong regret or heartache, the following will help you immensely.
1. A conversation that will offend your partner needs to stop
Baby, it’s a harmless friendship!’
Don’t feed that lie to your mind or to your partner. You know in the heart of your heart when you cross the line. Stop it when you can feel this pull of attraction. It isn’t easy, I am not saying it is, but it is the right thing to do.
Whenever you feel like talking to this new person and feel like saying a few words of praise for them, go to your partner and say it to them.В This new person is just an infatuation, don’t let a temporary thing mess your life’s constant.В – Continue reading on next page
2. Let the intimacy grow
Most cases of cheating are because of how people lose interest in their intimacy. First of all, except that it is a need that can’t be fulfilled or replaced with any other thing in the world. It is an intimate moment where you and your partner are the only ones who can give each other the kind of satisfaction they require.
Take out time for each other, even if you have had a pretty hectic day, take time out! Doesn’t mean that you need to go all the way. A calming conversation while you both share a drink in the tub is pretty good or maybe giving each other a massage. The point is that your bodies are intimately close and that you don’t feel the need to get that satisfaction elsewhere.
3. Eliminate anyone who is a threat to your relationship
Before you grow fond of someone who is showing interest in you or doing everything at its best to win, remove them from your lives. Do not give them an option of staying friends with you, trust me, they will take it as an opportunity to come closer to you.
You owe this much sincerity to your relationship, do not worry about breaking someone’s heart. You are not responsible for that!В Whether it is a friend, boss, colleague or an ex, when their actions start to threaten your relationship, it is time for them to leave.В – Continue reading on next page
4. Communicate and talk on this topic
It is always a great idea to first be clear with each other about what cheating really is. What you might take as flirting, your partner might take it as just being friendly. You both can avoid unnecessary drama by being clear on this point with each other.
Also, once things are clear, be vigilant about the fact that you respect your partner’s limits and boundaries so you do not cross them. Also, make it a point that your ideas are being respected as well.В Remember, making a relationship work is a two-way thing, always!
5. The person you cheat with can one day cheat on you as well
Don’t forget Karma!В A person who has the audacity to ask you to cheat on your partner can cheat on you as well and expect you to forgive them. People who do this have a bad conscience and it will not hurt them to make one mistake again.
Remember, loyalty is golden! Loyal people are very hard to find, and once you find someone loyal, please keep them close and do everything in your power to keep them happy.В – Continue reading on next page
6. Let fights go
Arguments are normal, they’re a perfectly normal part of every relationship. The key is to know when to stop and when to let go. I, for one, don’t like hanging on to the fight I’ve had with my partner two months ago, I don’t even remember most of our past fights because they’re done and dusted.
Some people love keeping track of fights, they love bringing old arguments back to life in the middle of a new argument, this just gives birth to a whole new level of argument, one that stays for a while and also damages the relationship more. Learn to let go of fights. If you fight too often, it can slowly start driving you away from your relationship and towards new people.
7. Stop trusting everyone you know
We all have a group of people, our close people, people who know us inside out. For me, it’s my best friend, he knows almost everything about my life and has always been positive for me. He has never told me something negative about my relationship and has always tried his best to make sure my relationship stays happy.
But this doesn’t apply to everyone, some people are just in your life to see when you finally fall. Also, some people aren’t what they appear. For example, you have a friend in your group and you think she’s there for you and is slowly becoming your confidant. While in reality, she’s just driving you away from your partner and wants you all to herself. The world is full of cruel people. Just make sure you start trusting someone new after you’ve spent enough time with them and are comfortable with them.В – Continue reading on next page
8. Don’t think you can never cheat on anyone
You, yes you, I’m talking to you! I know you think you’re a loyal person and can NEVER cheat on anyone. That may be true but never drop your guard on your evil side. Evil sides, we all have them, no matter how pure we are. It can happen to the best of us.
All we need is a mix of negative emotions, a bunch of bad people and a few triggers to bring our evil sides out. I, myself, almost once cheated on someone I loved, but thankfully I realised what I was doing and stopped before I could do something that would make me hate myself for the rest of my life. You’re not immune to it either.
9. Leave no room for any exes
There’s a reason why your ex is your ex, and you know that reason very well. I’ve spoken on this topic a dozen times before and some people like to differ with me on this one but I’ll speak my mind again. I don’t think anyone can just stay "friends" with their exes, it just doesn’t work.
Let me explain. Your ex is someone you’ve been in a relationship with, you’ve been emotional with them, you’ve been intimate with them, you’ve spent a tremendous amount of time and effort on them. When they left, they left you with a lot of pain. Being friends with your ex can never stay the same way because you two will still have some sort of feelings for each other, no matter how weak those feelings are, they’re there.
Plus no one likes it when their partners are still friends with their exes. No one, trust me. Staying in touch with your ex is one of the fastest ways of a "hook-up", and in the end you’ll be left with a lot of regrets.В – Continue reading on next page
10. Communicate on a stronger level
This is the most important part of the entire article. Lack of communication is the biggest reason for people to grow apart from one another and get interested in other people. If you feel like the level of communication with your partner isn’t the same as it once used to be, talk about it with each other. Have a heart to heart about it and find out why the communication isn’t the same. Deal with this now to avoid a huge mess later.
In the end, it’s up to the two of you to keep your relationship affair-free. Every healthy and strong relationship has seen its fair share of ups and downs, good times and bad times. Yours is no different.
Talk to me
Have you been cheated on? How did you come out of it with a sane mind and what lesson did you learn afterwards? Share your pain with me in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
