Don’t get abused.
Abusive relationships exist, and that’s just a sad fact that you’re going to have to come to terms with. Unfortunately for the human race, genuine kindness is much too difficult to find. There are just so many douchebags out there who are looking to prey off of the emotional weaknesses of other people. And so as much as it pays to be kind and accepting in this world, you must also make it a point to stay guarded and strong with your personality.
Just because you want to be a genuinely nice person doesn’t mean you should be allowing bad people to walk all over you whenever they want. You don’t have to allow yourself to be a victim of abuse to prove your kindness. You don’t have to have an emotionally weak personality just to be a kind person. These are all very common misconceptions that genuinely nice people have and so that’s why they make very easy targets for abuse and manipulation. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and protect your heart from emotional predators even though you are a nice person.
Here are a few ways that you can avoid being a victim of abuse in a romantic relationship.
1. Stop tolerating bad behavior from your partners.
If your partner is treating you badly, then don’t let them get used to it. It’s very important that you don’t let them get used to it because they might form habits out of their bad behavior. And habits can be very hard to break in a relationship. You don’t want to end up as a habitual victim of abuse because of your tolerance.
2. Don’t lower your standards for just anyone.
You have your standards and you should keep them. Hold your partners to that standard, and you shouldn’t be lowering it for them especially not the standards that have no room for compromise. You always have to be able to be strong and you can’t allow yourself to settle for anything less than you actually deserve.
3. Always remember that you have sole ownership of your life.
No one should get to dictate how you choose to go about your dreams or how you should be spending your time. You should still take ownership of whatever goals you want to be achieving and what kind of person you want to be turning yourself into. Yes, you can get input from others, but ultimately, the decision lies with you.
4. Don’t let your partner call all of the shots.
In the relationship, even the decision-making process has to be equal. Not one side gets to make all of the decisions all of the time. You must both always practice talking things out and actually sharing both of your opinions. Whether it be big decisions like deciding where to live or small decisions like deciding what to have for dinner, you must both be willing to talk things out.
5. Be honest whenever you’re not being satisfied.
If you feel like your needs and your expectations aren’t being met in the relationship, then you really need to speak up. If you stay quiet, then your partner might not ever even know that they aren’t doing the right things to make you happy. You have to always be honest with your partner even if what you’re going to say will make them uncomfortable.
6. Cut out any people who constantly add negativity to your life.
Negative people can bring about a negative attitude. Negativity is contagious and you should do yourself a favor by staying away from negative people. If you constantly surround your relationship with negative people, then you risk having that toxicity and negativity seeping into your romance.
7. Feel free to express yourself in the relationship.
Always make sure that your voice is being heard. If you feel like you have some emotions that you want to let out, go right ahead. Never feel like you have to censor yourself for the sake of your partner. Your partner should be willing to hear out whatever it is that you have to say.
8. Be forgiving but don’t be a pushover.
It’s always important to remember to forgive in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be a pushover. Remember that you still have to stand your ground. Yes, your partner is only human and they are prone to a few mistakes here and there. But when the mistakes and apologies are becoming a little too much of a common thing, then that’s a problem.
9. Demand for the things that you really think you deserve in a relationship.
Don’t be afraid to demand for the things that you really deserve in a relationship. Some examples of such things would be time, effort, attention, commitment, and trust. You never have to feel shy about asking for these things from your partner.
10. Make sure that you build a strong and independent lifestyle.
And lastly, but most importantly, make sure that you build a strong and independent life for yourself. You can’t allow yourself to be dependent on your partner or on your relationship. You have to be able to stand your own ground and make your own way through this world if it comes to that.
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