Yes, you love that person and he or she loves you back, as well, but you are afraid deep inside that there is a chance that things might not go as planned and they walk away.
‘Love’ and ‘feelings’ are the two words that pop in our minds when we hear the word relationship. It is all about the emotions of the love birds. The feelings of the two can change pretty quickly as the days pass, I mean, it must have happened to most of you in a relationship when you get up in the morning and you feel all happy and positive but by night you feel completely down. And not just down like you are tired or something, but you begin to experience a new kind of emotion and pain, something you’ve never experienced before.
Now, we hear many people saying that relationships are all about moments of ecstasy and euphoria, and the level of happiness is unmatched, and yes, they are right about this but the problem is that they are not considering A LOT of other things that happen along with the good things.
This is because even the best relationship will have negative feelings as well as the positive ones. The difference here is that the negative feelings will be totally different than the ones you have experienced before.
The feeling is absolutely new to you, you will feel sad but the sorrow here will be the one that comes from a very deep yearning. You will feel scared, but it will be different this time because this fear will be the one that is arising when you are totally dependent on another person. You will feel absolutely blind, but at the same time you will be able to see everything perfectly. And finally, you will feel empty inside, because this time, you are the one who is giving so much away.
You won’t really hear many people talking about these negative emotions when the word relationship pops up, that is because without the context, they sound really unappealing.
It is all about the feeling, the best relationship is the one that makes you ‘feel’, all the time. It is really important to have this feeling in a relationship. You happen to learn even more about yourself at every single moment in the relationship. You get to know and understand your limits about love, limits like how much love you can give to someone, how much love you really have for your own self, how far are you ready to go for your love and how much it can hurt you.
Because, at the end of the day, love is not just about those blissful moments and happiness, it can be very painful, frightening and, at times, it can get a little nasty for you. But the thing is that you were the one who signed up for this all in the start, and it was not only the good part that you signed up for. Love is a rollercoaster ride you sign up for, because as they say, feeling a range of different things is better than feeling nothing at all.
No one wants to be on the sidelines, everyone wants to enjoy this rollercoaster ride, those scary ups and downs. Because enjoying the thrills of the scary ride are still better than sitting on the side, watching.
Now, that being said, let us talk about what a perfect relationship really looks like. We now know that feeling happy and loved is not all that matters and does not really define the words, love and relationship. The negative feelings are a part of a relationship, you need to look for the following 10 feelings in your relation to tell if it is really real or you two are JUST saying those 3 magical words to each other.
1. You should feel Worried in the Relationship!
The ‘butterflies in the stomach’ feeling you get when you constantly check your phone if your partner has not contacted you in a couple of days.
It is a cellphone world and obviously we all use them. It is THE source of communication especially for those who are in a long distance relationship. Now, for example, if your partner has not called you or sent you a text and you keep on staring at their last seen at status, it makes you a little nervous. Now, it doesn’t really mean that you have to totally freak out every day just because your partner couldn’t text you but that little nervousness should be there.
2. The relationship should make you feel sad!
This absolutely does not mean that you should be sad because of your relationship. It means that you should feel sad for the one you love, you should feel sad and regret the harsh things you said when you were mad or angry. You should be there for them when they are sad.
Always remember, sadness and pain go along with happiness and euphoria in a real relationship.
It is pretty simple if you look at it this way- one cannot really enjoy the happiness unless they have experienced sadness. Every couple fights at one point or another, but it’s the one that feels sad and regret right after the fight that stays together and love each other even more.
3. The relationship will make you feel Exhausted!
The relationship should make you feel tired
This statement means that you should feel tired because you stayed up all night talking with your girlfriend or boyfriend. You should feel tired because you spent the whole day knowing more about each other. You should feel tired from giving all you can to that one girl/guy that you would give anything to.
4. Feeling livid in a relationship!
As I said earlier, couples fight at one point or another. Stuff happens, and even the most perfect looking couple fights at some point in their relationship.
But these fights, arguments about things and heated discussions are a couple of downsides that are inescapable if the two are really passionate about each other.
However, these fights have a legit purpose and weight. There is some solid reason behind every fight. Real couples do not fight just to get attention or to create drama, instead, they do that to resolve a matter.
5. There must be that uncomfortable feeling in the relationship!
This means opening up in front your partner should make you feel a little uncomfortable at first. You should feel a bit uncomfortable when you expose yourself. The good thing about feeling this is that this uncomfortable moment vanishes so quickly and one feels confident and relief when they see their partner accept them for what they really are. That feeling you get when a person considers things about you to be perfect, the things that you thought you will never even be able to show to someone, is unmatchable.
To have this feeling of confidence in yourself and relief is only achieved when you are uncomfortable about something in the beginning.
6. That anxious feeling should be there in the relationship!
With deference and love, comes a little neuroticism. You cannot really fall for someone and adore them without having that little fear about the power the guy or the girl will have over you, this is because of the fact that that person can pretty easily toss your heart back at you and leave you all alone.
It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you love them. And then, even when you do, there always is that little anxious feeling that that person can leave you anytime and it can destroy you.
One should feel this uneasiness in the relationship, if they really have opened up in front of and given everything to the person they love.
7. That Frustrating feeling!
That frustrating feeling you get when you are in a relationship with someone and he or she does not reply to your text for an hour or two, or when you miss and need them but cannot really do anything about it because they are far from you or some other reason, shows how much you really want them.
This frustrating feeling is basically the one you get when you are not able to be with the person you love.
8. You will and should feel Ugly!
The most beautiful couple is the one that is the ugliest. If you can expose and uncover the most crude self in front of someone and they still love how you look and are happy to be with you, congratulations, you are in a real relationship!
Those people who can show their worst sides to someone, completely open up in front of someone, don’t have to wear a mask in front of someone, and don’t have to pretend to be someone they aren’t and show their true face, are the only ones that have achieved the level of comfort to be involved in true love with that someone.
9. You should feel NaГЇve!
Realizing the fact that you can be wrong about something is what you want. You cannot be right about everything and have everything to be perfect for you. It is actually all about developing and understanding this fact that you cannot know everything there is to know.
There has to be room for teaching and learning from each other. You don’t need to cover the whole ground, explore and let the experiences bring you two even more close to each other.
10. The last but not the least; Vulnerability!
This is the last one in the list but definitely not the least. If you love someone and are in a relationship with them, you must feel vulnerable in front of them.
Loving someone truly and with all your heart is all about opening up in front of them, sharing everything with them, giving everything you can and being completely helpless in front of them. You give them your heart and hope that they don’t drop it.
You give everything, more than you can imagine to the person you love hoping that they would return the same and will never throw everything away and just walk away.
Yes, you love that person and he or she loves you back, as well, but you are afraid deep inside that there is a chance that things might not go as planned and they walk away.
This feeling of vulnerability reduces as time goes on, but it is always there in your mind and you can’t really get rid of it completely. But that is the beauty of love, the fear and the vulnerability that keeps you on the edge and the love grows more and more.
You cannot truly fall for someone and love them without having that fear and all the above mentioned negative feelings, because if you don’t feel any of these feelings, it isn’t true love!
