Ladies, aren’t we all just sick of getting in relationships and then end up realizing this guy is just not meant for us, or that he is a chronic idiot? Most of the time when you are looking for a long-term relationship, you end up attracting a guy who is just in it for sex or is just looking for something casual.
And that can be just hard-breaking, so why not set out in a way that you end up finding Mr. Right and don’t get hurt in the process? There are so many articles out there that direct guy on how to find the right girl, but very few on how to get the right guy. Of course, individual differences exist so this may not be applicable to everyone but generally these are some of the things that can definitely help you find Mr. Right and keep him.
1. Stop with the Stereotypes:
Seriously, girls need to stop doing this. I have way too many female friends who are ready to paint all guys with the same brush and say all men are dogs, while at the same time they sigh pathetically complaining about how they cannot find the right guy.
Well, obviously, if you start assuming that every guy is a jerk, chances are that he will be a jerk to you because you never gave him the chance to build a good first impression. Added to that, all the guys I know absolutely detest all girls who generalize and stereotype against them; it is on top of their list of major no’s in a girl. If you actually want to find a nice guy you are going to have to stop assuming that all guys are bad, and actually give them a chance to show you their true personality. Predefined opinions are just going to make you come off as over critical and extremely judgey and are you really sure you want to give off that impression of yourself? Also, girls need to stop going along with common stereotypes like guys should do all the heavy lifting, etc; it’s just extremely unattractive and detrimental to a relationship.
A relationship needs to be platonic, you do your half and I’ll do mine. Both have to put in their 100% to make it work all together. When a woman refuses to acknowledge stereotypes and instead tries to get to know you for who you actually are, that’s attractive. It shows that you’re willing to get to know them and assess their individual personalities instead of following common conceptions.
2. Stop Playing Hard To Get
I get it, you don’t want a guy to think you are easy on the fear that he’ll take you for granted or not realize your true worth, but honestly if you are really attracted to a guy; don’t play hard to get. It won’t do either of you any favors and chances are that the guy will just get annoyed and move on. Be honest and upfront with how you feel and you’ll be surprised at the response you get. If you really want a good long-term relationship, then you need to start off on the right foot, which means that you need to be honest and open from the start. If you aren’t honest and open from the start, the guy has no reason to trust you as the relationship progresses, which can make your relationship very fragile. Also, just like girls, guys do not like being played with, either. It is extremely degrading and hurtful. The guy might be really into you and if and when he realizes that you are playing with him, it can be a major turn off.
If you like someone, you need to come forward with your feelings. You need to let the person know that you like them. Women realize that playing games with guys who like them are childish and plain mean. Everyone has feelings and playing around with another person’s feelings is the worst thing anyone is capable of.
A lot of jerks exist who like to mess around a person’s mind. Thus, when you find a gem who’ll actually come forward with however they feel, be it a confession of rejection, it’s considered a gem. Being a genuine person is a rare thing in today’s world. Everyone walks around lying to one another. You’d think that after some time or at a certain age, people will come out of it eventually. Sadly, a very limited amount of people turn out to be counted as the good ones.
3. Nagging Is Unhelpful:
When a guy starts dating you, it is because he is looking for someone he can be romantically or sexually attracted to, he is looking for a soul mate; not another mother. So stop with the nagging. It is understandable that sometimes there are things about your partner that annoy you, or that you need some things but they are just being lazy about it; however, nagging is not the way to go about it.
If you keep nagging your boyfriend to fix the sink or stop leaving the toilet seat up, chances are that he is going to get seriously annoyed with you and that can be very detrimental to your relationship. His response can also be to just do more of the thing that bugs you. Instead of repeatedly nagging him about it, have a sit down with him and talk to him properly about it, or if he is just particularly forgetful, leave post it is for him. It is a less annoying way to remind him to do something and it won’t make him feel like he is constantly being treated like a small child.
Communication is key for any relationship to progress, be it a sexual one or a non-sexual one. A relationship doesn’t mean one with husband and wife or a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It’s a collection of any form of attitude you keep with other people. With that being said, nagging is not the same as communicating. Nagging is, in fact, the exact opposite. People find it attractive when you can present your case in a way that doesn’t make the other person feel uncomfortable.
If the other person did you way wrong, then, by all means, make them uncomfortable. However, in a general discussion, do not lose your cool because someone else has a different opinion than you. As I’ve mentioned above, no two people are exactly alike.
You’re bound to have some disagreements with people and the best way to overcome them is by communicating in a sensible way. Thus, your point is conveyed and the other person might even agree. However, if you think that by being loud, you’ll win an argument then you’re way off.
4. Show that you are ready to commit:
Girls are not the only ones looking for long-term relationships, guys are too. And just like you, they want someone who is ready to commit to them and be in it for the long run. If you really like a guy and he is the sincere and genuine kind, show him that you are ready to commit. Chances are that if you do not show him that you are ready to commit, he will get sick of just waiting around and leave, and you will be back to square one. Remember not all guys want you just for a casual relationship; a lot of them are also in it for the long run, and so they can be just as sensitive about your intentions as you are of theirs. Also, once you are in a relationship, stay committed, be by his side. He deserves as much. If you take him for granted and start looking for other fish in the sea, he has every right to walk away. Don’t just be ready to commit; actually, commit to him and stay.
I think anyone would agree that no one has the right to cheat on one another, in any relationship. I personally do not consider an open relationship as an actual relationship, but that’s just me.
Since this post is about women, I’ll continue on in that direction. If a woman realizes the sanctity of a relationship, she’ll stay committed. You don’t have to stick around in a relationship where you’re unhappy, but no one has the right to cheat.
That’s just a huge no. Commitment refers to staying by their side through thick and thin. Good and bad times come and go in everyone’s lives. That’s how life works. Leaving someone just because times are tough is the sign of a coward. It’s an incredibly admirable and attractive thing that in today’s world, people still realize how important it is to stay committed.