Skip to content
Relationships

4 Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid Of Being Single, I’m Afraid Of Dating

Isla Emmet Isla Emmet | January 2, 2016 | 4 min read

It is so common when you hear someone say that they are afraid they’ll spend their lives alone. What I have come to realise after a few bad experiences is that I would rather be alone and happy then to be frustrated and committed or hurt and committed, depressed and committed, and feel-like-trash and committed. Many people overlook the benefits of staying single longer, which can lead to personal growth and self-discovery. Embracing solitude allows individuals to focus on their own goals and passions, creating a stronger sense of identity. Ultimately, prioritizing one’s happiness and well-being can result in deeper, more meaningful relationships in the future. Diving into the complexities of attraction and connection not only enhances our understanding of attractive women and relationship dynamics, but also helps us to define what we truly seek in partnerships. By aligning our values and aspirations, we create a foundation for healthier interactions, allowing for authenticity and growth in every encounter. This process can transform the way we view relationships, encouraging us to seek out those who resonate with our true selves.

In life, we keep running after the things everyone else we know is running after. Initially, crushes then boyfriends then partners then a family man/woman. That is what everyone is running after, right?
But in the race to achieve these before others do, we end up making the wrong decisions and later regret our decisions. So I thought a lot and came up with the things I’d rather be happy and better off without.

1. I am not afraid to come to an empty house, I’m more afraid of catching my partner with someone else in my house

Being cheated on is the biggest shock you can get in life. It is the same for everyone, you do think of your partner cheating, often, because of a few tell signs but you shrug that feeling off, till you find your partner with another person. It takes you back and you are immediately sent in a state of denial, immediately followed by feeling betrayed, regretting all the efforts you made and eventually feeling stupid for trusting someone so deeply.

You feel like you, yourself wasted your own life on someone who didn’t even deserve a second look. It is a horrible feeling. I can say that because out of three serious relationships I’ve had, two of them cheated on me.

2. I’d rather be happy with who I am than be insulted and embarrassed by the people I love

You can take sh*t from people who don’t like you, even people you don’t even know but it is a hundred times harder when someone you truly love disrespects you.В It is a hard thing to digest because you don’t expect such blows of insults from someone who once declared to never hurt you. It takes a huge toll on your thinking and the perspective of your own self and at one point you start believing that you aren’t good enough. People completely break in this process but those who realise this before losing their mind over it, would know that being content with your own self is a lot more important than putting up with someone who treats you like crap.

3. I’d rather laugh with a bunch of strangers than cry because of the "one"

Happiness is derived from different things in life. For some, it could be their family, pets or partners. Lucky are those who actually find their happiness with their partner. That’s what you fantasise about since childhood. Unfortunately, not many people have these fantasies changed to reality. I’d rather be happy alone than to be hurt and disappointed at someone. Life is too beautiful to be spent in tears.

4. I’m not afraid of being myself, I’m afraid of being with someone who doesn’t let us be ourselves

There is no bigger torture than to constantly feel that you are not good enough for the one you love. You will always be a little too much of this or too less of that. To constantly change your personality bit by bit is a terrible way of losing your self-esteem, confidence and dignity. And, such relations never work out because at one point you break to a point from where there is nothing else left for them to change. This is where you realise you were never truly loved for being you, you were loved for being someone who can easily mould into the perfect idea of what a partner should be like.В I’d rather be alone and happy than to be with someone who makes me feel miserable about my own self.

Talk to me

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough for someone no matter how hard you try to? Have you finally found someone who would love you for who you are? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive! Finding reasons to stay motivated in life can be challenging, especially during tough times. Embracing self-acceptance and surrounding yourself with supportive people can make all the difference. Remember, every day presents a new opportunity to grow and pursue your dreams.


Leave a Comment
Join the conversation — your thoughts matter

Isla Emmet
Written by
Isla Emmet

Isla is a relationship writer and former counsellor based in London. With a background in psychotherapy and five years of writing about love, attachment, and emotional wellbeing, she brings a calm and deeply empathetic voice to every piece. Isla believes that understanding yourself is the first step to understanding the people you love. When she is not writing, she is hiking the Scottish Highlands or curled up with a good novel and a strong cup of tea.