11 Red Flags I Should Have Noticed Earlier In My Abusive Relationship

Watch out for these red flags.

What can I say? I was a blind optimist who always tried my best to see the good in people. I always wanted to believe that people are generally kind and that they would never want to hurt anyone else especially the people that they’re in supposedly loving relationships with. But I was naГЇve, and my ignorance came back to bite me in my own butt. And that’s the price you have to pay whenever you just deliberately choose to be stupid. Whenever you get into a relationship, you really have to make sure that you stay guarded. Yes, it would be great for you to just let yourself fall in love freely with the person you want to be with,

but you also have to ensure the safety of your own heart. You have to be able to protect yourself so that you don’t end up getting used and abused I like I did. I hated that experience and it almost ruined the idea of falling in love for me.  So don’t make the same mistakes that I did when I fell in love with someone who abused and manipulated me. Be vigilant and keep an eye out for the signs that abuse is imminent in the relationship. If a lot of the signs that are listed on here are existent in your relationship, then you need to be able to call your partner out on them. And if things still don’t change for the better, you should just do yourself a favor and walk away from the relationship before things get really complicated and messy for your heart. Here are 12 red flags that I should have noticed earlier in my abusive relationship.

1. My partner pressured me into making things exclusive even when we were just starting to hang out.

He wanted to take ownership on me early on as if I were an object that he could just keep in his possession. He was afraid that someone else might come along and still me from him as if I were his to keep.

2. My partner always rummaged through the messages in my phones and computers.

He could never trust me with my communications. He always assumed that I was messaging other men or I was telling other people about our sad relationship behind his back.

3. My partner got easily irritated and upset over even the simplest of things.

He would always lash out at me even when there was no reason to do so. He would only do this just to make me feel like I was always at fault and my existence was a big burden to him.

4. My partner would get jealous of my friends whenever I would choose to hang out with them instead.

He really had a lot of jealousy issues and it was really out of place. There was no reason for him to get jealous of me hanging out with my friends because I was giving him a lot of my time already.

5. My partner would emotionally manipulate me into doing things that would benefit him.

He always wanted to get his way even if it meant using me as a tool to achieve his ends. I was rarely ever a willing participant but he would always be able to use my own emotions against me and he would get me to do things I would never want to do.

6. My partner didn’t really have a real life going on outside of the relationship.

The relationship was the only real thing that he could rely on in life and that’s why he focused so much of his energy into being controlling and manipulative. He didn’t really have any other outlet to channel his emotions.

7. My partner had a really bad drinking problem that seemed to have no end.

Any form of unhealthy addiction can be bad for a relationship.

8. My partner would use his emotional trauma to justify his toxicity.

He would tell me that he was damaged and that he had gone through so many traumatic experiences in life that made him what he was in the relationship. Regardless, he was acting monstrous and nothing could excuse abusive behavior.

9. My partner would always make everything about himself.

He was always selfish and he was always thinking of himself all the time. He didn’t really care about what I was feeling or how I was being affected by his actions so as long as it pleased him.

10. My partner was always trying to change me to become another person.

He would always try to guilt me into thinking that I was never enough for him; that I needed to start doing more and being more because I was destroying the relationship by merely being myself.

11. My partner would never take ownership of his faults and shortcomings.

He did so many things wrong, but he never owned up to them. He lacked the maturity that one needs to actually assume responsibility for something.

Talk to me

Can you relate to this? Talk to me in the comments below!

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