11 Things a Narcissist Does at the End of a Relationship

Ending a relationship is tough, and it gets even trickier when you’re dealing with a narcissist. These are people who are self-centered and often play mind games. When things are falling apart, they do some things that can make it even harder. Let’s talk about these behaviors so you can recognize them and know how to deal with them.

1. Love-bombing

At the beginning of a relationship, narcissists often shower their partner with love and affection. But as the relationship nears its end, they may suddenly withdraw this affection. They go from making you feel like the most special person to making you feel ignored and unimportant.

2. Gaslighting

Narcissists are experts at making you doubt your own reality. Near the end of a relationship, they might intensify this manipulation tactic, causing confusion and self-doubt. They may deny things they previously said or did, making you question your own memory and judgment.

3. Playing the Victim

When narcissists sense the relationship is ending, they may portray themselves as victims. They’ll blame you for everything that went wrong, painting themselves as innocent and unfairly treated. This tactic is meant to garner sympathy and guilt-trip you.

4. Silent Treatment

Narcissists use the silent treatment as a way to punish you or gain control. They may employ this tactic more frequently towards the end of a relationship, leaving you feeling isolated and desperate for their attention.

5. Online Harassment

Some narcissists resort to online harassment after a breakup, using social media or other platforms to stalk, threaten, or slander their ex-partner. This behavior can be distressing and may require legal intervention.

6. Financial Manipulation

In some cases, narcissists may attempt to manipulate finances during or after a breakup. This could involve withholding money, draining joint accounts, or making false financial claims to gain an advantage in legal proceedings.

7. Emotional Manipulation

As a relationship with a narcissist nears its end, they may increase their manipulative tactics. They might use feelings of guilt, fear, or pity to try to make you stay or to get you to do what they want.

8. Smear Campaign

Some narcissists resort to spreading false information and rumors about you to tarnish your reputation among mutual friends, family, or colleagues. This can be a way to maintain a sense of power and control even after the relationship ends.

9. Triangulation

Narcissists might introduce a new person into the equation, often an ex-partner or a potential new romantic interest, to create jealousy and insecurity in you. This tactic is designed to maintain control and keep you emotionally invested.

10. Hoovering

After a breakup, narcissists may engage in “hoovering,” where they attempt to suck you back into the relationship. They might send heartfelt messages, promise to change, or even show up unannounced to reel you back in.

11. Refusing Closure

Narcissists often avoid providing closure at the end of a relationship. They may leave things unresolved, refusing to have an honest conversation about the breakup. This lack of closure can leave you feeling emotionally unsettled and unable to move on.

Share Your Thoughts:

What actions do you believe a narcissist typically takes at the end of a relationship? Share your insights with us in the comments below!

25 comments
    1. My husband is giving me all 10, I want to move on but fears the 11th what can I do that I can slip pass with out him realizing.

    2. My ex to be always says I am the best thing I have ever dated in my life. He cannt even see that I have already left him. According to him he thinks that we are still dating.

  1. My husband abandoned us leaving behind a 7 year old and he broke are car and took the better one with him to wherever he went and then he ghosted us no calls no text no visits

  2. I often wonder if my ex was a narcissist… now I know he was for sure. Every single item on this list… he did !!! Everything has come into focus now on all these wasted years I spent with him. Feels like I just took a gut punch.

    1. I still have a narcist and hé is making me feel like i am a bad person. I lost my parents when i was 24 and i have now familie anymore. So hé can do anything, cheeting on sociale media, let me buy eveything when i do 2 jobs and hé doesn’t work. Hé stay’s away at night and i can’t call hem. But it’s all my fault because hé say’s we had a discution the Day before. I am loosing my mind ..believen me it’s not gonne went well. I have nothing too loose. If hé hits me one more time…i did what my instinct sad me allong ago. Hé destrouid my live in 4 years. After loosing my parents. Its me or hem!

      1. Leave him. Save yourself. Your parents want you to do good and have a great life. They didn’t live to have you and see you suffer. They want you to blossom. There are better men out there. Go to a non denominational church. Even if you don’t believe. Just go. You will have peace there. And the people will love you up and they will mean it. I wish I could hold you right now. I’m a mother and it breaks my heart to hear your pain. I’m going through my own stuff right now but I know the love of God and that we all exist for a purpose. Don’t let this man destroy you. You will survive. You are strong. And you are so loved. Don’t give up ❤️

      2. Do not sacrifice yourself for anybody! You must be strong! My last real boyfriend was awful to me. And when I left inorder to get away I left everything…my apartment, furniture even my car. And a note explaining why I was gone! And I moved to another state knowing he’d be too scared to follow. It was the most freeing time of my life!

  3. I unfortunately recognise everything from the above… I luckily managed to get away and to stay away in the end… but when I left, he did play the victim, promised to change with even suicidal attempt, he tells lies about me (which he had already been doing during the relationship), does gaslighting, is withholding personal stuff from me (from the time before the relationship), he tells people everything is my fault, but he has been the one that’s been cheating on me (above all the rest)…
    More than 1 year later, I still have to work through emotional or mental damages he’s done..

  4. My husband abandon me 4 years ago . Left the whole family in turmoil . Lots of woman came out the woodwork . He ll do the same to them

  5. Narcs do all of the things you listed ALL the time except for love bombing which they only do in the beginning. The rest of the crappy things they do are done throughout the relationship, not just at the end of it.

    1. I totally agree I chucked him out for 2wks and he blanked me and my heart broke so much I begged him back. Now i realise that was the wrong decision. He has our children on his side bcoz ill ask him a question he screams at me then the kids blame me for starting the argument when all i did was ask a simple question like why did u put the washing machine on when i already washed the load an y r ur pants that u had on while the machine was spinning now in the machine?? Bcoz he washed them while I was In bed…. So y wash a whole load that has already been washed if u didn’t have something to hide??? What do u all think ???

  6. They completely discard you you went from being everything to completely nothing to them! They will never take responsibility they always turn everything around on you and make it out to be your fault even when the facts are out in the open! They can’t take responsibility for anything!

  7. All of the above, except line 1. It started with the withholding things and is currently in triangulation, 2 narcissist against me. 1 has cried the other Narc has blocked me. I know exactly what and when to say things that that keep things fact based. I keep them on point and they can’t handle it and dismiss themselves. Idgaf what they say as they get personal. The calmer you stay the more upset they become. I always have my brother to a point of wanting to fight, as I calmly remind him of the facts. Facts are cryptonite. I’m pretty sure if they had 5 narcissist I would be fine. Stay calm and never give up power by raising your voice, calmness and direct eye contact = your in control

    1. Yes I’ve seem karma happen for both my ex-husbands…don’t have any contact with the ex-boyfriends. I put myself into a situation where I’m actually untouchable!

  8. I suffered from all of that.. This young amazing woman, which is Me, kind, gentle, passionate… I suffered from that… How do I heal from all of that

  9. So many of these fit my husband to a “T”. Ugh! Why did I overlook the red flags in the beginning. Now at the end -everything is so clear. The silent treatment he owns so well. It’s so draining,

  10. Just saying that there are female narcisists also. Getting on my feet again emotionally, intimacy and financially.

  11. OmG I RECOGNIZED ALL of these especially the smear campaign. Oh YAHWEH GOD CONTEND WITH MY NARC AND HIS PAID CONTENDERS IN JESUS NAME AMEN.
    I don’t know who wrote this but o wow this is exactly what I’m going through and it’s been 9 years . They don’t give gifts very much either,

  12. Out of everything I read yep he did it and he still pops up announce then he claims that he come to see the kids but when he come they be at school or if he come it be late at nite when he knows that they are sleep then he thinks when he come around I just pose to have sex with him after he left me for somebody else

  13. Fortunately I did infact escape the relationship.
    And this behavior can happen in the LBGTQ2S community just as much. Narcissist is a Narcissist regardless of what community they are a part of.
    In my case I had to go sleep on my dad’s couch to get away. People definitely noticed how badly I was being treated and a mental health professional suggested that I should leave the relationship. I took his advice when he wanted to purchase yet another Mercedes Benz and needed my signature. Leaving was very scary. But I’m now in a much better relationship.

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