Ending a relationship is tough, and it gets even trickier when you’re dealing with a narcissist. These are people who are self-centered and often play mind games. When things are falling apart, they do some things that can make it even harder. Let’s talk about these behaviors so you can recognize them and know how to deal with them.
1. Love-bombing
At the beginning of a relationship, narcissists often shower their partner with love and affection. But as the relationship nears its end, they may suddenly withdraw this affection. They go from making you feel like the most special person to making you feel ignored and unimportant.
2. Gaslighting
Narcissists are experts at making you doubt your own reality. Near the end of a relationship, they might intensify this manipulation tactic, causing confusion and self-doubt. They may deny things they previously said or did, making you question your own memory and judgment.
3. Playing the Victim
When narcissists sense the relationship is ending, they may portray themselves as victims. They’ll blame you for everything that went wrong, painting themselves as innocent and unfairly treated. This tactic is meant to garner sympathy and guilt-trip you.
4. Silent Treatment
Narcissists use the silent treatment as a way to punish you or gain control. They may employ this tactic more frequently towards the end of a relationship, leaving you feeling isolated and desperate for their attention.
5. Online Harassment
Some narcissists resort to online harassment after a breakup, using social media or other platforms to stalk, threaten, or slander their ex-partner. This behavior can be distressing and may require legal intervention.
6. Financial Manipulation
In some cases, narcissists may attempt to manipulate finances during or after a breakup. This could involve withholding money, draining joint accounts, or making false financial claims to gain an advantage in legal proceedings.
7. Emotional Manipulation
As a relationship with a narcissist nears its end, they may increase their manipulative tactics. They might use feelings of guilt, fear, or pity to try to make you stay or to get you to do what they want.
8. Smear Campaign
Some narcissists resort to spreading false information and rumors about you to tarnish your reputation among mutual friends, family, or colleagues. This can be a way to maintain a sense of power and control even after the relationship ends.
9. Triangulation
Narcissists might introduce a new person into the equation, often an ex-partner or a potential new romantic interest, to create jealousy and insecurity in you. This tactic is designed to maintain control and keep you emotionally invested.
10. Hoovering
After a breakup, narcissists may engage in “hoovering,” where they attempt to suck you back into the relationship. They might send heartfelt messages, promise to change, or even show up unannounced to reel you back in.
11. Refusing Closure
Narcissists often avoid providing closure at the end of a relationship. They may leave things unresolved, refusing to have an honest conversation about the breakup. This lack of closure can leave you feeling emotionally unsettled and unable to move on.
What actions do you believe a narcissist typically takes at the end of a relationship? Share your insights with us in the comments below!
Good reading makes perfect sense
My husband is giving me all 10, I want to move on but fears the 11th what can I do that I can slip pass with out him realizing.
You only live once. Dealing with the soul sucking emotionally and physically draining narcissistic person just has to be cut off sometimes. Do what you already know in your heart is the right path for you because if they aren’t on your path they aren’t really with you anyway.
My ex to be always says I am the best thing I have ever dated in my life. He cannt even see that I have already left him. According to him he thinks that we are still dating.
My husband abandoned us leaving behind a 7 year old and he broke are car and took the better one with him to wherever he went and then he ghosted us no calls no text no visits
It’s time to get legal help and remove yourself and your child from the situation. He wants to keep you guessing and second guessing everything you do. Move on…… He’s playing head games at your expense. PLEASE GET HELP!!!!!
Exactly what happened to me to!
I often wonder if my ex was a narcissist… now I know he was for sure. Every single item on this list… he did !!! Everything has come into focus now on all these wasted years I spent with him. Feels like I just took a gut punch.
It seems like everyone is a narcissist. It is a trigger word used to explain to ourselves why we are still alone. When the truth is it’s always the worst person pointing the finger.
Shush 🤫
Sorry Sister
I found out the hard way as well…
Totally BLINDSIDED & left a STRONG WOMAN in shambles
I WILL land on my feet tho
Good Luck, remain YOURSELF ABOVE ALL
Currently dealing with this.
Indeed narc keep you in a cycle or circle, its just the same thing over and over again!
I still have a narcist and hé is making me feel like i am a bad person. I lost my parents when i was 24 and i have now familie anymore. So hé can do anything, cheeting on sociale media, let me buy eveything when i do 2 jobs and hé doesn’t work. Hé stay’s away at night and i can’t call hem. But it’s all my fault because hé say’s we had a discution the Day before. I am loosing my mind ..believen me it’s not gonne went well. I have nothing too loose. If hé hits me one more time…i did what my instinct sad me allong ago. Hé destrouid my live in 4 years. After loosing my parents. Its me or hem!
Leave him. Save yourself. Your parents want you to do good and have a great life. They didn’t live to have you and see you suffer. They want you to blossom. There are better men out there. Go to a non denominational church. Even if you don’t believe. Just go. You will have peace there. And the people will love you up and they will mean it. I wish I could hold you right now. I’m a mother and it breaks my heart to hear your pain. I’m going through my own stuff right now but I know the love of God and that we all exist for a purpose. Don’t let this man destroy you. You will survive. You are strong. And you are so loved. Don’t give up ❤️
Do not sacrifice yourself for anybody! You must be strong! My last real boyfriend was awful to me. And when I left inorder to get away I left everything…my apartment, furniture even my car. And a note explaining why I was gone! And I moved to another state knowing he’d be too scared to follow. It was the most freeing time of my life!
how I feel right now do to being with one after four tears face him all 💯 percent just to slander me pull me down now health down to do to stuff he did to me then had me thrown in jail when tried to get stuff n tell lues so bad on me
I unfortunately recognise everything from the above… I luckily managed to get away and to stay away in the end… but when I left, he did play the victim, promised to change with even suicidal attempt, he tells lies about me (which he had already been doing during the relationship), does gaslighting, is withholding personal stuff from me (from the time before the relationship), he tells people everything is my fault, but he has been the one that’s been cheating on me (above all the rest)…
More than 1 year later, I still have to work through emotional or mental damages he’s done..
My ex sent indecent pictures to hus own kids fones, saying this is your momma!!coz he knew id got stronger an it eas the last straw 4 him to break me.. which he very nearly did, an my kids, so took him to court, like i should of all them years he beat me..he never killed me, he just made me stronger . He leads a very sad life now, shame on him!!!..
My husband abandon me 4 years ago . Left the whole family in turmoil . Lots of woman came out the woodwork . He ll do the same to them
Narcs do all of the things you listed ALL the time except for love bombing which they only do in the beginning. The rest of the crappy things they do are done throughout the relationship, not just at the end of it.
Narcs?
I totally agree I chucked him out for 2wks and he blanked me and my heart broke so much I begged him back. Now i realise that was the wrong decision. He has our children on his side bcoz ill ask him a question he screams at me then the kids blame me for starting the argument when all i did was ask a simple question like why did u put the washing machine on when i already washed the load an y r ur pants that u had on while the machine was spinning now in the machine?? Bcoz he washed them while I was In bed…. So y wash a whole load that has already been washed if u didn’t have something to hide??? What do u all think ???
He’s messing with your head and your kids playing mind games, that’s what they do. If he can destroy you they will. If he can make you mental he will……….It goes on and on. Seek mental help to get stronger.
They completely discard you you went from being everything to completely nothing to them! They will never take responsibility they always turn everything around on you and make it out to be your fault even when the facts are out in the open! They can’t take responsibility for anything!
All of the above, except line 1. It started with the withholding things and is currently in triangulation, 2 narcissist against me. 1 has cried the other Narc has blocked me. I know exactly what and when to say things that that keep things fact based. I keep them on point and they can’t handle it and dismiss themselves. Idgaf what they say as they get personal. The calmer you stay the more upset they become. I always have my brother to a point of wanting to fight, as I calmly remind him of the facts. Facts are cryptonite. I’m pretty sure if they had 5 narcissist I would be fine. Stay calm and never give up power by raising your voice, calmness and direct eye contact = your in control
Has anyone ever got confirmation that Karma bit them in the ass?
Yes I’ve seem karma happen for both my ex-husbands…don’t have any contact with the ex-boyfriends. I put myself into a situation where I’m actually untouchable!
I suffered from all of that.. This young amazing woman, which is Me, kind, gentle, passionate… I suffered from that… How do I heal from all of that
So many of these fit my husband to a “T”. Ugh! Why did I overlook the red flags in the beginning. Now at the end -everything is so clear. The silent treatment he owns so well. It’s so draining,
Just saying that there are female narcisists also. Getting on my feet again emotionally, intimacy and financially.
Yes all of it 🥲
OmG I RECOGNIZED ALL of these especially the smear campaign. Oh YAHWEH GOD CONTEND WITH MY NARC AND HIS PAID CONTENDERS IN JESUS NAME AMEN.
I don’t know who wrote this but o wow this is exactly what I’m going through and it’s been 9 years . They don’t give gifts very much either,
Out of everything I read yep he did it and he still pops up announce then he claims that he come to see the kids but when he come they be at school or if he come it be late at nite when he knows that they are sleep then he thinks when he come around I just pose to have sex with him after he left me for somebody else
Fortunately I did infact escape the relationship.
And this behavior can happen in the LBGTQ2S community just as much. Narcissist is a Narcissist regardless of what community they are a part of.
In my case I had to go sleep on my dad’s couch to get away. People definitely noticed how badly I was being treated and a mental health professional suggested that I should leave the relationship. I took his advice when he wanted to purchase yet another Mercedes Benz and needed my signature. Leaving was very scary. But I’m now in a much better relationship.
This is my mother for 65 years last time she disowned me for 15 years then I let her back in my life it has been miserable , I am getting the silent treatment again with the smear and now I have learned to enjoy it as for the smear of my family believes her and backs off again it’s on them! I’m going on with a much more peaceful life ! I know my God loves me ! That’s more than enough !
Her withdrawal increased as my finances and physical health decreased. After she received a large inheritance, her behaviors and attitude towards me went extreme. Now trying to navigate divorce while she has family and others removing property, but refusing to stop others from removing items private property and equipment of mine,or preventing destruction of same.division of assets totally slanted in her favor and refuses mediation. After ensuring that I spent everything I had, left me without any financial means, so I can’t afford a consult with any attorney in the area.
My ex did most of these toward the end of our 25 year marriage, 14 years ago. I finally was able to break his stronghold he had over me.
Spread false statements about me and our relationship, till none of my family would speak to me, to be fair, they did try to connect with me, but I was in such an emotional mess and mentally trying to process my own way forward, I did what I always did, pretend all was hunky dory, 13 yrs on and lots have happened, I’m in a better place mentally, have some lovely friends, a new person in my life and glad to be alive at last, but, missing my family still and hoping that one day they will finally walk though my door again and we all just hug and love each other once more.
Any advice please…it’s not just my narcissistic ex that’s ruined me and myself esteem, but very very sadly I have realised that my 27 year old son has been exactly the same as my ex but for years, I think I have been conditioned for most of my life
This is not what narcissism is. What you are describing are abusive behaviours. As a narcissist, this is really offensive to me.
it’s funny how all is direct at male gender. but all the points pointed out fit my ex perfectly, even though she was the one that called it off.
Not all were true with my ex but very real and true
I left my ex 2 years ago He went and told people my daughter wouldn’t let me come back to him. He texts me everyday and wants me to come back but he went running back to his ex and lives with her now. I will never put myself in that situation again
I am just coming out or trying too. I am waiting for the bomb to go off…it a very difficult time, due to the fact I am terminally ill. This has no meaning to him all 11 are correct with mine.
May I suggest you find a good Psychiatrist to stay in close doctor care to keep your mental health in tact. The Psychiatrist can prescribe you medication to prevent depression. Your mental well-being is your TOP priority. Please make an appointment for yourself ASAP.