Stop pushing him away.
It shouldn’t be a problem for you to want to go after a man you’re interested in being with especially when he’s just too shy or scared to make the first move. But keep in mind that a lot of things that you would instinctively want to do to try and win a guy over would be absolutely detrimental to your desires. This is a new field for you especially considering how you’re not typically the one who makes the moves in getting a relationship started. So be careful. Tread lightly. You don’t want to be making any potentially destructive mistakes that could deprive you of the opportunity of actually being with someone you’re genuinely interested in. Here are 12 common mistakes that you might be making which are actually pushing him farther away from you.
1. You act unnaturally and excessively nice towards him.
He will think that you’re acting shady and that you have some ulterior motive that you’re keeping from him. Be nice to him, but don’t make it seem like you’re giving him any special treatment either. You’re only going to make him uncomfortable.
2. You make yourself too available for him.
Don’t let him think that the idea of you and him getting together is what makes up your entire life. If he wants to hang out, don’t tell him that you could do it anytime. You still have your own life and schedule to think about too.
3. You lie and act fake just because you think you have to adjust yourself for him.
Never force yourself to become a person you’re not comfortable with being especially if it’s only because you think it would make him like you more. He will be able to see through your little charade and he won’t like how you’re acting so fake around him. He wouldn’t be able to trust you.
4. You talk ill of your exes when you’re talking with him.
Just stop talking about your exes in general. You shouldn’t be giving him the idea that you still think about your exes because he might assume that you’re not over them yet. If that happens, it will put him off to the idea of actually pursuing you as a potential mate.
5. You refuse to take no for an answer.
Don’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. If he can’t hang out with you this one night, let it go. You might come off as overly controlling, clingy, needy, and dependent. You don’t want him to be thinking these things about you.
6. You do too much research on him on social media.
You like all of his posts. You comment on every single one of his uploads. You always view all of his stories. While you might think that it’s sweet and endearing, he might think that you’re just stalking him and that’s plain creepy.
7. You try to change him into your idealized version of him.
You should never be trying to change a man just so you could fit him into your idealized narrative. You shouldn’t have to compel him to be someone he’s not interested in being at all. You have to accept him for who he is or you move on.
8. You are constantly praising him like he’s a deity.
Don’t treat him like a god. He isn’t one. And you also have to remember that not all people are able to receive compliments well. A lot of guys are shy and they don’t respond well to being praised like a god. They won’t want that kind of pressure or attention on them.
9. You always call and text him without giving him a chance to breathe.
Don’t be that kind of girl. Sure, it’s nice to be in constant communication with him, but you also have to give him the space to just be his own person without you. You never know, he might end up missing you too.
10. You force him to open up to you about deep feelings.
Don’t force him to open up about anything that is too deep or compelling especially when you’ve only just started hanging out. You should wait for him to get comfortable with you before he can actually open up to you. Don’t pressure him into vomiting his feelings out.
11. You don’t give him any space to be his own person.
You have to allow him his individuality. You have to let him be his own man if you ever want him to respect you. You can’t be all over him all the time because he’s going to end up getting sick of you.
12. You entertain other guys while trying to pursue him.
And this should practically be a no-brainer. If you’re interested in having a relationship with him, then focus on him. Don’t entertain other guys. He might not want to have to compete for your affections and you risk losing him as a result.
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