12 things you need to say before it’s too late
There’s nothing more depressing than keeping quiet about your feelings. It hurts when you have to keep things to yourself that you actually need to let out. It’s one of the healthiest things to have a good level of communication with your partner, the back and forth of feelings into words is just beautiful and it helps both of you stay happy. This article is going to focus on the 12 things you need to think about and say before it’s too late.
1. Is Something Bothering You?
I’ve seen a lot of couples break apart due to a huge lack of communication. Asking if something isn’t quite right with your partner doesn’t take much effort and it makes them feel like you’re there for them and they can talk to you when they’re going through a rough patch. It doesn’t take much to ask them if you see a change in their moods, if you feel like they’re not quite the same with you, if you feel a difference in the way they talk to you, it all probably means they’re sad or hurt about something and you can make it that much easier on them by letting them know you’re there for them.
Nor you or your spouse is perfect. Confessing all the negative behaviors which you have is one of the best ways to get a very difficult conversation started. You should be prepared to make any changes that are needed after taking a very honest survey of your faults. This is especially if you think that your spouse should make alterations too. Try speaking in the same way to your partner in which you want to be spoken to. First think about how you pick things and then think about how your spouse does. Try to ask questions from yourself like what makesВ yourВ partner to bear all, what makes them angry or shutdown and when they are very responsive? When you always blame someone for something, they will stop talking to you. The best way to do discussions is without finger-pointing.
2. I Need You
The happiest couples are those who acknowledge each other’s importance and how lost they are without each other. "I need you" are three very simple yet very powerful words that can grow the love between the two of you by ten fold. You are in love with them, there’s a reason you chose to be with them, there is absolutely no shame in admitting how much you need them in your life, in your ups and downs, in your accomplishments, in your successes and your failures, you need them in everything.
There is no shame in telling anyone how much you need them; in fact these are the words which can boost your relationship in a good way. – Continue reading on next page
3. My Life Is Pretty Great
Self-pity is something you really don’t need in your life. If you ever feel down about your life, try looking at all the awesome things you have that most people suffer for. I’m not talking about material things here, Relationship Rules is not that petty. I’m talking about being able to see the infinite beauty of the world, being able to hear all the amazing sounds and voices, being able to touch, being able to walk, every little thing that you probably don’t pay attention to or are thankful for anymore are the things that you need to be happy about. Trust me, your life is awesome.
Try to enjoy even the smallest things in life as they are never going to come back once they are gone. The people, the places and everything are lovely. When you love your life, you will love the people in it. Your partner is a main part of your life so you need to love your life in order to love them.
4. I Can Deal With This
Believe in yourself, life will throw a lot of obstacles your way but it will never give you more than you can handle. We all have our ups and downs, and the way we conquer our downs is what makes us who we are and makes us awesome. Whenever you find yourself stuck in a difficult situation, no matter how impossible it seems, tell yourself you can and WILL handle it. Do not forget, no matter what happens, this too shall pass.В You will get temporary relief by avoiding issues, but it will give birth to a long-term stress. I’m sure that you are aware of the physical results of stress too – you can get ill from its impact. One of the best way for partners to sort it out is by giving each other practical and emotional support. Do not try to judge your partner if they fail to support you. May be your partner is not feeling very good as well. What mostly happens when you are stressed that you feel everybody including your partner is trying to increase it for you. So if there are any problems in your relationship or life after marriage, now is the best time to sort all the problems. If you continue doing what you always do, nothing will change. If you start having wishful thinking, it will make things even worse. I advise you to get help from any experienced couple counselor if you are going through this situation. You will feel good when you discuss with an expert that what is going in your relationship.В – Continue reading on next page
5. Can I Help You In Any Way?
Nothing makes your partner more proud of having you than knowing that you’re always there to help them out when they need it. My girlfriend has a lot of tough things I can help her with, even though I know she will never accept my help because she likes dealing with things her own way, I ask her anyway. At the end of the day, she always appreciates the fact that even after knowing she’ll say no, I still insist and ask. It’s a simple question, it will only make you two stronger in the long run.
Or something bad may have happened with your partner at work or maybe they suffered a loss which is not possible for you to cover up. Many things like this may go wrong in life. Having a partner who is supportive emotionally is one of the very best things in the world you have got and you should be very thankful for it. It is your partner who will help you go through this phase of life.
Your loved one may sometimes do not react the way you are expecting them to. They me let all their feelings and emotions come out and this is very bad and destructive for any relationship. Even if we feel like saying anything we should learn to filter all those words which can hurt our partners’ feelings. They are already in pain and if we speak anything wrong they may feel alone and this could destroy the relationship. In order to support your partner, you don’t have to do anything which you are not happy with. If you are unhappy with any decision of your partner, or any action taken by him, then you should try to talk about it, you can even talk about it with the help of a third-party. You should always try to communicate in a very gentle way as your partner can be hurt by even a slight wrong word at this phase of their life. You both should know how to best help each other in such situations,
6. I Trust You
Trust is the most valuable and rare asset in the world today. It is very hard to create and even harder to maintain. Tell them you trust them, it doesn’t matter if they know it already. Reassuring words are very healthy and help create a happy relationship.В You should not tell anyone what your partner tells you in the confidence of relationship or it will destroy their trust in you. The more time you two spend face-to-face with each other, the more trust you will build. This is because communication will remove all the distances between you two and make you two more open with each other which in turn will increase level of trust. You two should not rely only on phone calls or emails. Try to fulfill all the small promises you make. If you say you will call then do call, if you say you will be at any place, try to be there. Fulfilling these little promises will increase your partner’s trust in you and will make your relationship better in the long run. Another way to build trust is by apologizing for any mistake you make. When your partner knows that it is from your heart, they will have trust in you.В – Continue reading on next page
7. I Believe In You
Having faith in someone is a beautiful thing. Your partner wants you to tell them you have faith in them and you believe in them. No matter how difficult and impossible their endeavours may seem, tell them they can do it. They’ll never forget it.
If you truly love each other, you have to believe in each other.В If you try this out, you will see that it will increase your love, trust and everything. It will make your relationship healthy. If you tell your partner that you believe in them, they will feel motivated and in future they will even try to do more for you. When they do more for you, your believe in them will increase even more.
8. Society Doesn’t Matter
I say this to my fans all the time, society does NOT matter. Do not let people judge your life and your decisions. Do not fall prey to their traps and their wishes. You have your own life to live and your own problems to deal with. No one knows what you’re going through and they don’t need to know. Be happy with who you are and be happy with the person you’re with, without asking for any acceptance from anyone else. Only a few people matter.
Society won’t spare you in any way. They will always have something to criticize you for whom you are with. After all it’s your happiness which matters and not the society so be with the one you feel happy with. Try to make yourself happy with the choices which you feel are right for you and not the society.В – Continue reading on next page
9. I Forgive You
Let go of the negativity. Forgiveness is one of the most precious gifts you can give to someone. If they made a mistake and promise to not make it again, forgive them. You won’t be stupid for forgiving them, you’ll only be the bigger person. But NEVER say it if you don’t mean it, only say it if you can truly forgive them with all of your heart.
You must learn to forgive in other to have a positive and healthy relationship. Of course a relationship has many other components as well but forgiving is the one which binds it. Forgiveness can be called as one of the main positive attributes of a good relationship with your partner. In any relationship there will always be space for many moments of frustration, disagreements and different opinion, and one of the most important parts of a good relationship is the way we deal with these issues. The way we deal with them can make our relation a success or failure. If we do not forgive then from time to time this negativity will build. However, our relationships can really improve a great way if we learn to forgive whole heartedly and let go of the insult and bitterness.
10. I Love Myself
Love who you are, not what you can be or want to be. The person you are right now is exactly the person you should love and respect. It’s not possible to love someone when you don’t love and respect yourself enough.В You must have heard that before someone else can have you, you have to love yourself. This is because often our partner is a reflection of ourselves. Just as like attracts like so we mostly like people who we think are like us. Each of us has a different perspective of looking at things around us. What we like, what we eat, where we want to be and all these things are different for different individuals.В We like to be with people who have made the same choices in life as ours.В If you realize that you are perfect then eventually you will start loving yourself. You should think that no one can do the things the way you do them. No one can have your ambitions and talent. No one even does the wrong deeds like you because it’s just you and only you. No one can be you. The day you try to believe that you are the only one; you will start to see others in the same way. But you are mostly attracted to the sex opposite you, this is the universal truth. You have to accept yourself to accept others. It will be easier for you to change and improve after you accept yourself. Try to find the person you will like to be with, then you can try to become the type of person they want to be with. It’s so simple but you have to try at least.В – Continue reading on next page
11. I Respect You
Respect is a two-way street, you need to give it to earn it. Always tell your partner you respect them, that’s why you love them and that’s why you’re with them. Because you love and respect them for who they are and the decisions they make and the personality they carry.
Respect is a two-way rule. You have to give respect to own it for yourself. Take a deep survey of your relationship and then if you do not find anything in your partner worth respecting, consider why you are in a relation with them. Try to address those issues which are causing resentment or mistrust in the relation. Don’t sit quiet. It’s only you who can fix it and no one else.
You should avoid treating each other in a disrespectful and rude way. Never ever try to talk sarcastically to your partner; you will ruin relation in a couple of minutes even if you try to speak that way. You should view opinions and wishes of your partner and respect them. The day-to-day tensions can also erode respect slowly and gradually. If any one of you is struggling with issues or is stressed, you may become negative and irritable, and shout on your partner. This will give rise to a cycle when both of you will feel very disrespectful and negative to each other. Similarly anger can be aroused if you cannot resolve daily conflicts. While if any issues are addresses in a blaming way, it will also make both of you lose respect for each other.
It takes much effort for sustaining the respect in any relationship. We are all humans and if our partner starts to treat us disrespectfully, we often do the same. So this sort of disrespect often feeds on itself.В The more one is rude, the more likely it is that the other will behave the same is response.
So do try not to bring disrespect between your relations. If I have any problem with my girlfriend I always tell her but in a circle of respect and that’s what keeps our relation go on.
12. I Love You
Last but definitely not the least, tell them you love them. These three little words have the power to turn a frown into a smile. Even if they know it already, doesn’t matter. Reassure them everyday, not because you fall in love with them everyday, but because you ARE in love with them!
It will be a very good feeling if we drop all or defenses and are completely expressive without a single drop of fear. This would be the only way we can tell people their value that they carry in our lives and the way we want to be with them. We could tell them the way we feel with them, the way we love to talk to them, the way we like hanging out with them and so much more. If we omit the expression of our feelings it means we take our partner for granted which is not good at all. Many people still regret not telling their partner that they love them and this leaves their hearts wounded for life time. You don’t have many chances to tell you love them. You have to be fearless and express all your feelings to your partner. If you do not express your love, your partner will never know about it. So get up grab the chance and say I love you to your partner if you haven’t said yet.
We all know that hearing your partner say I love you or You are my life is one of the most cherished movement of any relationship. But what mostly happens is that none knows when to say it and so each of the partner wait for the other to say it first. Genuine attitudes are expressed by romantic love. Saying these three magical words gives personal flourishing.
That’s it for now. I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. As I say all the time, I do this for you guys. So don’t be afraid to share your feelings and speak your mind in the comments below. Stay blessed and keep the love alive!