Sex is one of things parts of a relationship where reality rarely ever meets expectations. A lot of us will crave for the kind of sex life that is portrayed on the big screen. We want to be in a fancy bedroom with rose petals and lighted candles everywhere.
We want to be in an effortless kind of chemistry with our partners where there are no speed bumps or awkward moments. However, real life is rarely ever like that. It almost never happens. A lot of times, sex can be very underwhelming especially if you’ve been hyping it up in you head for the longest time now.
We wall want sex to be this wonderful adventure that we go on with our partners. But you also have to realize that adventures can get really messy(and sometimes even boring).
And a lot of the time, these disappointing sexual experiences are caused by common mistakes that we make in the act in itself. You would be surprised at the things that you’re doing in the bedroom which are actually keeping you from maximizing the experience as a whole.
You have to remember that ideal sex always relies on having two people who are constantly being mindful of what they’re doing; and who are constantly learning and discovering more about themselves and one another. And just to open your eyes a little bit, here are 13 really common mistakes that you might be making in your sex life that are keeping you from getting the most out of your sexual experiences.
1. You fake your orgasms.
If you fake your orgasms, then you are essentially lying to your partner about what you like in the bedroom. And if you keep on doing that, you are misleading them into thinking that they’re doing what they need you to do. If you didn’t climax, then just be honest about it. Let your partner know what they could have done to help you get there.
2. You talk too much during sex.
It can be a good thing to be a little talkative during sex – for instance, when you’re role playing or when you’re talking dirty to one another. But it can also get a little annoying really quickly. So don’t overdo it. Make sure that you’re keeping the talking at the bare minimum. You don’t want to be messing the chemistry up by constantly talking with your partner.
3. You lose focus and you start to think about other things in the middle of sex.
Always be mindful of the present moment that you’re in. It would be stupid for you to be thinking about other things in the middle of sex because you are depriving yourself of the full sensation of the moment. And your partner won’t be too happy about it either.
4. You let your partner take the lead all of the time.
Take control. Call the shots. Take the lead. Sometimes, you can take a lot of pressure off your partner if you act as the dominant one in the bedroom.
5. You practice poor hygiene.
Wash yourself. Take a bath. Your partner isn’t going to want to kiss you on the neck if you smell bad. Your partner isn’t going to want to make out with you if you have bad breath. Your partner isn’t going to want to go down on you if you haven’t bathed in a while. Practice proper hygiene. It helps in the bedroom.
6. You don’t engage in spontaneous sexual adventures.
It can be very tempting to just have a schedule for the both of you to have sex. But don’t always be content with just sticking with that schedule. Have impromptu sex in unexpected places. That’ll do wonders for your sex life.
7. You refrain from doing things that are outside of your comfort zone.
Always be willing to experiment especially if you’re with a long-time sexual partner already. It’s always nice if you show a certain willingness to try new things. It’s always a great way to spice things up in the bedroom especially if you have a set routine already.
8. You are too obsessed with making everything perfect.
There are never any perfect conditions. And so you have to stop being so uptight about everything. Just learn to relax and let yourself loose. It’s sex. You don’t have to put so much unnecessary pressure into it.
9. You expect your partner to be a mind-reader with regards to what you want.
You can’t just expect your partner to know what you want in a bedroom without you communicating it to them. Always make sure that you are communicating your needs and your wants in a clear and inambiguous manner. Just be upfront about it.
10. You compare your current partner to previous ones.
Take each sexual partner that you have on their own merits. You can’t keep on comparing them to previous sexual partners because all people are inherently different. You have to focus on the partner that you have now and you have to constantly try to keep things fresh with one another. Discover more of each other’s personal needs and personal strengths.
Talk to me
Have you made any of these mistakes? Talk to me in the comments below!