Whether you are high maintenance, are way out of his league, or just not the lovey-dovey type it doesn’t matter when your guy is a keeper and loves you for who you are, despite your highs and lows, your flaws and cracks. To live in a world as judgmental as we do, it becomes pretty challenging to love ourselves and even harder to let someone else love us. So when you find yourself in that place yet your guy is there for you through all of it and rather than backing off, sticks by with you all the more, then he is definitely a keeper.
Therefore, he will exhibit a lot of signs that he isn’t your run-of-the-mill, average sort of guy. So here is a simplistic list to find out the quality of the guy you’re with and to evaluate his love and devotion for you.
1. Your bad haircut doesn’t faze him
Ever had that awkward when you are in a public place and some random person tells you that your hair is not set properly? Now unless you are an advocate of being straightforward, you will feel a bit embarrassed or a bit nervous, in the least, about that. You will feel all eyes at you whether they are actually on you or not. But then you go home, and your guy tells you you look beautiful and you see that glint of sincerity and the brevity in his voice and you just know, he is speaking his mind.
If that brings a warm tingly little feeling in your heart then you are on solid ground in the matters of the heart and your guy truly loves you even the you who comes home all sweaty and beaten from the day’s work and wearing her hair all upside down. Call it goofy, but it works for him and he is fine with the way your heart looks more so than your hair does. We all know the looks-fade-but-personality-lasts maxim yet we all seem to forget it from time to time, don’t we? The weather is rough so your hair looks bad. You have that party to attend to but the people at the salon couldn’t get your hair right and that gives you a funny, weird look.
But after the fuss is created, you come home and your guy passes some offbeat and nice remark that just blows you away and you’re all like but I look so weird, how can he find me beautiful even though I look like this’ And you think that is a clear sign of your guy’s unconditional love for you.
2. You’re beautiful to him even with or without makeup
To cover up our facial flaws with just the stroke of a brush? Which girl doesn’t want that? Well, most do anyway, if not all. But if the man who says he loves you takes your face in his hands, a face showing all its flaws and imperfections with no makeup on and tells you he loves you he does trust him, he does.
He is not just in love then, he is smitten. Maybe when someone comes along and loves us in such a pure manner, it will make us learn to love ourselves through their eyes we will see our true worth and love ourselves a little better.
3. You aging won’t bother him either
Sometimes, you might find yourself at that place where you just do not like the way you look. It is a psychological fact that when you look nice on the outside, you feel nice on the inside too. The opposite is true as well. Therefore, when you feel you do not look perfect or need some makeup to hide those dark circles from lack of sleep last night, you go and put some on. But go back a bit now. Even when you did not apply all that makeup and your dark circles were showing perfectly, did he love you just a little less? Did he tell you you are not as flawless and perfect to him as you see with some makeup on? The fact that he did not is the matter speaking for itself.
Even if you have scars all across your skin, he will not see them as weaknesses but as symbols of survival a living proof of all the tough times you faced in the past and got through. He will not see such flaws on your body as something to degrade you on but quite the opposite; they will just make him love you more. So you look a bit older after your 30th birthday. You start to become lazy. Wrinkles appear on your face and the whole I’m-growing-old-already thing starts to freak you out a lot.
In the background, however, your guy keeps reminding you how much you mean to him no matter your age, because he will love you despite. In a way, he will actually make him believe that yes, age is just a number after all. The way he will show his devotion and respect for you will make you realize that hearts don’t measure love by clocks but by transformation; of one person due to the other. Your wrinkles show memories to him instead of all the good time you got the chance to be a part of so you start seeing your wrinkles as timeline markers, not as something negative.
4. Your weight’s just a number to him
She’s too fat. She’s too thin. She’s too white. She’s too tan. She’s too short. She’s too tallbut what about her heart?
Is it also restricted by such materialistic and worth-nothing labels? If your guy does not seem to think it is, knows that his love for you is undying. He could not care any less if you were underweight or overweight he sees the beauty of your head and heart, literally. He might find the chubbiness on you cute and adorable, but never a good reason for him to love you a little less or respect you a little less. They say it absolutely right anyway true beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Go figure.
The most basic way to tell if someone truly loves you is by way their way of seeing your soul, not your body. Sure, we all know bodies wither away and grow weak. But the soul is what actually holds the charisma forever. When someone falls in love with your soul, it speaks for their personality as well.
The fact that they fall for something long-lasting in you instead of trivial factors, such as weight, only proves that they know what they have is special; they know the consequences of losing you and so, they pay greater focus on loving the parts of you that will last longer than a number which is your weight.
You’ll know how much your guy loves you when his eyes see the beauty in your soul and not your body. Sure, he will appreciate the best and beauteous things about you yet if you are skinny or overweight, he will still come home to you and find comfort in your arms, smile at the sound of your laughter, and treat you like you deserve to be treated.
5. He’s got your back even if you’re jobless
Sharing a life with someone is hard perhaps the most difficult task in this life, apart from raising kids. When you hear about two people in a relationship who also happen to be living together, one of the few things that pop up in your mind is probably something like: so they must both be working, right?’ But imagine a scenario where the guy works and due to her personal reasons, whatever they might be, the girl does not work. If you are not the job type of person and have made up your mind to not work, family and friends will criticize and question your decision. Maybe you do not like working under someone else. Maybe you cannot handle that sort of pressure. Maybe you cannot compromise work time for personal time.
The reasons can be anything. Whatever they might be, you have that one person, who loves you unconditionally. He will not ask you the why or what of such a decision of yours. Instead, he will try to understand your reasons, not judge you for that decision, and will support you as much as he can. If you face any kind of problems financially, he will back you up instead of asking you to support yourself.
Chasing social norms over your happiness is something a guy will never do when he loves you more than anything. You are his world, not society’s idea of success by having to sell yourself pursuing jobs and careers etc. When you tell him your choice of not wanting to work, he will not make you change your mind. Instead, he will support you both morally and financially.
Even your friends and family might not support you in that area and belittle you about your choice to go workless, but your guy will. That is a sure sign that he is in it for the long run of things. He is there to make you feel comfortable in your own skin, and with your choice of paths which you wish to talk and which not to. It does not matter to him if you are a working woman or jobless, he still loves you despite.
6. He doesn’t leave your side when you’re feeling down
You have had a bad day at work, come home all cranky and your bad mood does not go unnoticed by your guy. He does not make it worse by making you vent about it instantly. Rather, he will try to calm you down, make you freshen up a beat, cook you a nice warm meal and when he is sure you are ready to talk about it, he will try to do his best to put you at rest. That is a clear sign of his unconditional love for you.
That love goes so deep for him that even if you become all rude and insensitive, his feelings for you will not change. If that is not pure love, nothing else is. No hint of selfishness exists in it either. Most of the times, even others who love you a lot, get sick of your continuous phase of gloom. They see that grey cloud of sadness hanging low over your head and move away.
Because let’s face it: handling someone when they are in that bad place is not an easy task. They will push you away, drain you and only those who love you unconditionally will put up with all that yet still choose to stick by your side and keep trying to bring you back from that bad place. When he loves you unconditionally, he loves you with your good and bad side. If he only chases your good side and leaves you when you get on your bad side then his love is not as pure and unconditional. No one is perfect and we are allowed mistakes and mood swings. The one who loves you will put up with all of this and instead of leaving your side, he will make an extra effort to make you feel better. He understands you, your bad phases, and what might cheer you up at that time.
7. He doesn’t control you
Never forget how rare it is to find a man who does not control you in terms of what kind of company you hang out with; what places you should and should not go to, how much money you ought to spend on yourself, the kind of body image he wants you to maintain and so forth. If he lets you do all these things and more on your own terms, given they are reasonable enough then he is a keeper. If he values your freedom and gives you the chance to explore and travel, do not mess things up with him because finding such guys is very rare in this modern era. Men know women have the right to freedom and some might stifle that right but if your guy is not included in that list of men, he truly loves you no matter what.
Controlling someone in that kind of highly restricted way does more damage to someone committed in a relationship than they officially realize. The fact that your partner does not control you goes on further to demonstrate his consideration towards you as a person, one with their need to grow and mature emotionally, their desire to go out into the world and explore, experience, and live life to their fullest.
Because of such considerate feelings he harbors for you, he will never control you in any aspect of your life. Sure, he might try to talk you out of walking on the wrong path, but even that is not something that falls under a controlling behavior. When he truly loves you, he will actually motivate you to be someone, to do something good with your life and stand up to your potential, rather than controlling you.
8. He gives you space to be yourself
The world and its people are a show; they will empty you every now and then. You will need some time by yourself to recharge when that happens. The love and support from your partner will be the driving force for you all the while. We all feel lost sometimes, wanting to be alone to figure things out and find what it is we really need and want. Having a partner who does no question your need to be away in that silent zone of yours is a great blessing to have.
Most people question their role in your life, or worse, start doubting themselves when you tell them you need some time off. But if your guy lets you be alone when the need comes then he truly understands you. He is golden. He does not question your need to have your space. He does not intrude. He does not make you feel completely alone in all that time either; by checking up on you every now and then. He just lets you be. He understands that solitude is part of rediscovering yourself, in the simplest of terms. And so, even if you fall from grace and ask him to give you some space and time away, he will do so, because things we do for love and friendship.
9. He doesn’t try to change you
You might be a sinner or a saint; a lawyer or a waitress; a hippie or a simple woman none of that compares with the unconditional love he has for you have. You only feel the need to change someone when you are not happy and satisfied with the way the other person is. The thing with love is, it makes you see the best in the other person. All else fades to black. They become your whole reality, so why would you want to change anything in that reality when it is all you love?
It does not matter how bizarre your hobbies and likes are when the right guy comes along, he will not tell you who or what to be, what to like and dislike and how to live your life, in short. Instead, he stands by your stand for he’s in it for your originality, not a personality he can change to his own liking. He knows very well that he has no right to steal you of your right to be who you are because that’s what changing someone’s personality does: rob them of that right. He finds his peace to love the wacko person you are and that’s unconditional love in every sense of the word.
10. He doesn’t mind your attitude and moods
People get on our nerves a lot and sometimes, no matter how laid-back you are, you just cannot control it. However, since he loves you unconditionally, he will not be so hasty to form permanent decisions and thoughts about temporary feelings; he knows your attitude is how people treat you and your personality is who you are. He will put up with your attitude and not let it become a part of you. That is how deep his love for you goes. Women’s moods attitudes and moods are prone to change more. Some aspects of your personalities might change with your moods too.
When your guy chooses to stay with you despite knowing all this, he has learned that you are more than your moods and that you are worth it. In fact, it rather seems like a piece of cake for him. That is because he knows at the back of his head that by observing you in all those different attitudes and moods etc will just help him know you a little better and hence love you a little more, each day and every day. Furthermore, having to settle your moods will also help him gain that sort of knowledge, as to what ticks you off, what lifts your mood, and so on.
11. He forgives you and your mistakes
Whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally, we all become hard on ourselves sometimes, perhaps more so than we should. That makes us view our littlest of errors as grave ones and consequently, we find it very hard to forgive ourselves. That self-hatred also makes us blind to the fact that we are more than our faults and mistakes. But someone who truly loves you will make you see you’re more than your mistakes.
He’s the best guy when he knows the fact very well that all humans are allowed some mistakes during the course of their life. Even when you do not forgive yourself, he will forgive you without a second thought and him doing that might show you how to do forgive yourself too.
12. He gives you third chances
It’s hard enough to give someone a second chance; most people take that for granted. But if your guy gives you one and then the third one, if the need is, his feelings for you are as true as it gets because he believes in you. The thing with loving truly is that they start to see the best in you and don’t give you a second chance to make amends, but a third one as well. If your guy tells you you can do better, he doesn’t want to give up on you.
Motivating you to give things another shot is his way of saying that yes, my love for you makes me believe in you unconditionally. Take the hint and do your best to try harder to make things better the third time, given the second one didn’t go well either.
13. He helps you deal with your past
No one wants to carry extra baggage; they have a lot of their own anyway. Dealing with his own past is a heavyweight but when your guy puts that second and helps you deal with your demons from the past, he loves you no matter what.
Someone who truly loves you accepts you with your past and future. If you have a troubled past, your guy will help you deal with it not just by being supportive but by making you see it as lessons to be learned. He will drive strength from your past and that’s why he’s the right one.
Ladies, talk to me
Have you found the man of your dreams? Let me know in the comments down below!