While it is true that love isn’t the only factor for happy marriages, it is nonetheless one of the most substantial factors. Marriages lacking love and emotional connection are bound to fail or go awry. Yes, love is only one of the many factors needed for a healthy marriage – but again, it is also necessary.
The Situation
Today’s Reddit post comes from the TwoXChromosomes subreddit, where a Reddit user shared how disturbing it is that a lot of men on Reddit admit to marrying women without loving them or having any emotional connection with them. Reddit user New_acc03 wrote:
“I read a post where a woman asked for advice because her husband’s was spending hours every day alone with his recently single female ‘best friend’. The husband and ‘best friend’ spend hours on the phone during the day, and hours parked outside the home at night ‘talking’. They refuse to go inside to ‘talk’, or to include the wife. When the wife is not home, they spend hours inside the home together, alone-but the friend leaves the minute the wife gets home. Oh, the best friend also ignores the wife and kids when they see each other. The husband doesn’t spend any time with the wife or their kids, and told his wife that she’s insecure and needy for wanting to spend time with him.”
“I’ve read so many stories about women’s significant other changing the minute a female ‘friend’ is single. Then there are all these men that admit they married women they didn’t love because it was better than being alone. I never would have thought that it was so common for men to do this to women.”
“I find both of these situations very disturbing. Women marry, have kids, build a life with these men. No one does all that expecting the husband to cheat or leave the minute that female ‘friend’ is available, or when he meets and falls in love with a someone. It’s scary to think about being married to someone that deceitful, and manipulative. Anyone else find it disturbing?”
This post went viral on Reddit, with a lot of women sharing their personal experiences describing how this post holds true. Here are thirteen of the best comments:
1. bambiedgehills said:
“I know a married dude who sent me a flirty text the day his wife gave birth to their daughter.”
2. markiitka shared:
“When my mums best friend got married the husband told my mum (in front of the friend): ‘well, it would have been you if you wanted to’…”
“Like…tha audacity??”
3. sarahwasadiver wrote:
“I was in one of these marriages for seven years. He didn’t even try to hide it. It was so painful during those years that by the time i left I was relieved, not sad, and didn’t shed a single tear. Never looked back on that sad human”
4. HELLOhappyshop shares a positive experience:
“Yeah my husband gets really mad when guys make ‘jokes’ about hating their wives and stuff like that. Why would you marry someone you don’t even like?? My husband and I are best friends.”
5. jemandtheholograms shared her experience:
“I work in construction and the way men talk sh*t about their wives is very disheartening. Very common. It’s like they forget I’m there and say the meanest things. Laugh about how they get out of raising the kids. Mock them for the ‘bad’ lunches they pack. Pot bellied balding men complaining about how their wives have put on a little weight over the years and they aren’t attracted to them as much. Makes me wonder why they even got married.”
6. CameoAmalthea shared her heartbreaking experience:
“Husband of ten years said he loved me when we got married but shortly after stopped feeling anything for me so for like 10 years was lying to me when he said I love you, but didn’t realize it until he fell in love with one of my friends.”
7. JarbaloJardine shared:
“I recently saw an ex for the first time since our breakup. Since we broke up 2 years ago he got engaged. Man, I absolutely could have taken him home. If I wanted to I could have him back. I feel so bad for the girl, he just really wants to get married and have kids before ‘it’s too late.’ He’s clearly not madly in love. Idk, but maybe that’s all she wants too.”
8. exit_does_not_exist wrote:
“I have a firmly held belief that most of my currently married male friends got married due to a particular circumstance that may have been the best choice/led to the best outcomes from a utilitarian standpoint (usually there are children/complex family dynamics involved). I don’t sense that they got married to the partner they really wanted to marry, but that life dealt them particular cards and they went with it. Life is often an unfortunate series of events.”
9. eckokittenbliss shared her own traumatizing experience:
“My husband cheated on me with ‘his friend'”
“I felt so insecure and jealous and he kept getting angry at me for it. Telling me I had nothing to worry about. Making it seem like I was the bad guy, that I was crazy, that I was the jealous bad wife who won’t trust her husband.”
“All while cheating on me with her.”
10. Jenniferinfl wrote:
“My husband told me he didn’t really love me two weeks after our wedding.”
“Yeah, you have to be a garbage person to marry someone you don’t love. I wouldn’t have married him if I’d known, but, he lied until after the wedding.”
11. CardboardJ shared what she taught her daughter:
“I’ve warned my daughter about guys that are brats to their mothers but will eventually want a mom replacement when they move out. That is absolutely not a reason to get married.”
12. sssskar wrote:
“Almost all married men (and some women too) constantly joke about not being happy with their wives. I always feel annoyed why they have to say this even as a joke.”
13. petulafaerie wrote about a fear we all share:
“I find the idea of anyone, regardless of gender, cheating on their partner or marrying someone they don’t love fairly heartbreaking and disturbing.”
This post has over 1.8k comments, read them all on Reddit here.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Source: Reddit
My “husband” started cheating on me when I was 4 months pregnant. I forgave him because I was young and dumb, and because I so desperately wanted the nuclear family that I never had growing up. He never proposed to me, he walked into the room while I was on the phone and just handed me a ring his grandmother gave him. When the baby came, I was basically a single mom even though he didnt work or do anything besides play video games. He went on to cheat on me with my cousin, then abandoned me and our TWO children for some random girl he met working at a factory. I was a stay at home mom so I lost literally everything. He even took the only vehicle we had, leaving me in a state where I knew no one, had no family and no help in, by myself with two kids. Even after all these years I feel so bad for my younger self. All I ever wanted was a family.
My “ex-partner” cheated on me while I was 5-month pregnant with our second baby. We were 2 months away from getting married. He met the “girl” through his friend who was by that time the “girl’s” live-in partner. How ironic right? When the two split up, my ex became the girl’s shoulder-to-cry-on type of guy. My ex left me and our two kids and lived with her and her two kids. Funny.