You don’t exactly have to be mind-blowingly good in bed. You just have to make sure that you don’t suck and that you aren’t terrible.
It’s the 21st century, and sex is no longer as taboo as it once was. Plenty of modern relationships place a heavy premium on the value of sex when expressing intimacy or affection. Many people factor one’s abilities in bed into whether that person is compatible with them or not. It’s just a fact that we can no longer ignore.
Your sexual prowess ties heavily into how good of a relationship partner you are. You don’t exactly have to be mind-blowingly good in bed. You have to ensure that you don’t suck and aren’t terrible. That isn’t too difficult. Of course, if you and your prospective mate have a few chemistry issues, you can always try to see whether your sexual habits have anything to do with it.
Of course, some people will be better than others at sex, but that won’t always be the biggest factor in determining compatibility. Again, the biggest and most important thing you must always remember is that you won’t be problematic in the bedroom. If you lack a sense of self-awareness in that area, you may read on until the end of this list. If you find that you are guilty of many of the items listed here, then you are definitely doing something wrong in the bedroom.
1. You practice poor hygiene.
Yes, the act is colloquially called getting dirty but that is just a figure of speech. No one would want to go down on you if you don’t tidy up there. Make sure that you wash and clean the important areas.
2. You rely on alcohol to help you do the deed.
Alcohol should be used sparingly. Yes, it has the potential to make things more fun, but you can’t rely on it all the time. Ditch the liquid courage and ensure you’re operating on all cylinders.
3. You have a low drive.
A low sex drive is indeed an issue, and it can greatly affect someone’s performance in bed. You need to motivate yourself to want to do the deed before you can be good at it.
4. You are lazy.
It’s okay not to want to be in the mood every single second of every single day. Of course, you would sometimes want to rest after a long day at work. But you shouldn’t make it a habit. Give your partner something every once in a while.
5. You are a little too quiet in the bedroom.
A little noise always adds to the thrill and excitement of sex. Don’t just shut up and act like a mute when you’re doing it. Try to throw in a few moans and some little whimpers here and there.
6. Your partner doesn’t ask for seconds.
One of the great indications that you’re not doing too well in the sack is when your partner is always just content with one. Of course, conversely, when your partner asks you for seconds, that means you’re doing something right.
7. You overdo it with painful activities.
Bringing a little pain into sex is a fetish for many people. However, very few people on earth will find extreme pain in sex enjoyable. Keep things in moderation. You don’t want to scare your partner away.
8. You don’t diversify your repertoire.
It’s the same act over and over again. Your partner can practically predict all of your moves at this point. Don’t allow this to happen. Try to bring something new to the table every so often.
9. You’re not honest about what you want.
You can’t expect your partner to be a mind-reader. You can’t expect your partner to know everything you want to happen in the bedroom if you don’t say anything. A lot of what makes good sex good is communication.
10. You want to finish.
Enjoy the journey. Don’t rush towards the moment of climax. The build-up is just as important, and you can’t afford to just take it for granted.
11. You say no a little too often.
Okay, so you’re hesitant to try some new stuff out. That’s okay. But you can’t always say anything and expect your partner to be happy. Sometimes, you must put your game face on and try new things.
12. You always make it all about yourself.
It can’t be all about you. Sex should never be a selfish act. You should always look to be pleasuring each other as much as you want to be pleasuring yourselves.
13. You act too self-conscious.
Don’t let your shyness and vulnerabilities get in the way of good sex. Confidence is always attractive, and you must believe in your hype.
14. You catch your partner faking it.
If your partner is faking it, then yeah, you weren’t that good, and your partner just felt sorry for you.
Talk to me
Have anything to add? Let me know in the comments below!
How do you satisfy your partner when you overweight. And have gain weight stomach so big. You have the desires to but it’s kinda hard to breathe with a big belly. If you in a certain position you catching cramps. Like what to do yea I’m trying my hardest to shed these pounds but it’s hard. And life moves on you still have to be intimate with your mate. I had a fears that he’d be on attractive for me and go out to somebody more slimmer 😭😭😭
Susie Q… regardless of your weight, there are many things you can do to satisfy your partner. My partner of 30+ years is a BBW and she is a gorgeous, sexy lady. The thing is before you are able to please your partner, you need to be happy with yourself. Remember that you may not have the perfect body but if your partner loves you, he/she will not care as much about your weight as you seem to and more about making you happy. You need to love yourself so that you can love your partner. I know we all get caught up in our own insecurities but know that if you take the initiative in bed, your partner will reciprocate. I hope this helps Susie Q. Remember you are worth it 🙂
its very simple some said poverty is a good diet 🤣control your apetite and exercise also
What happens when he won’t do anything first? He keeps talking to other women and lies about what he does with them. It isn’t just one person who is at fault. He seems to not want to be nice to you or he thinks it isn’t your business but you have been living together for over 5 years and dating as well. I guess the one person has done things wrong from day one even though he tells you it isn’t you… what would you do about that .
Leave him
I don’t understand what is hard to read about that whole situation…. If he has you but is talking to other women, that says it all right there dear. You need to understand that you are worth more than him laughing at you behind your back for all the things you let him get away with by staying. Find a man that appreciates you and loves you the way you deserve. Learn to love yourself as well. And if he is talking to other women he’s probably sleeping with them…. You should probably stop sleeping with him. There are so many STD’s out there. Protect yourself.
Honey… if your man is doing all these things, he doesn’t love you. You should leave him. He sounds like he just makes life painful like you are always walking on egg shells. You deserve to be with someone who omnly loves and thinks about you. I know it may feel comfortable to stay with him because it’s what you’ve know for 5 years but you need to move on. It’ll be hard and it’ll hurt but I promise it’ll be worth it
Yea it hurts n it is hard..I was just kicked out by my ex boyfriend of ten years after losing my husband of 21 yrs…I don’t think highly of myself cuz I no wat I look like..n I’m not hard to love cuz dats all I want..just a man to love n take care of me…I’m 48 n I don’t wanna be alone..it’s depressing but I don’t believe there’s a man out there for me.. my good guy died
If you are the female in the relationship, remember men actually like some of the same spots we like! If he has done it to you.. and you liked…it is possible he may like it too! If he pushes you or directs you and you feel unsure, he has already okayed it by the direction.
What can you do if you think you really are terrible in bed?
Open communication. Ask any likes and dislikes or ask them to guide you.
Ask them if they have anything they want to try…. sometimes when you aren’t feeling confident your partner may be feeling it also. Good communication on both sides is key. & Don’t be scared! Try new things & ask if there’s things they’d like to try or even if there’s a way things could improve etc. If you don’t talk about it you won’t know. Confidence is extremely sexy! Someone can be a bigger person, feel that they are not as attractive etc but if they have confidence it is soo sexy (you’ve got to love yourself)
I believe communication is the number 1 thing in a relationship. I have been struggling to have a good time in my life!!
Men should appreciate the magic a woman provides …if she truly cares !
My husband does not French kiss me anymore. We have been married 5 yrs. The first couple of years he kissed me but now never ever French kisses me, not even a peck during se x! It’s really bothering me. I tell him how much I need it and he says he will try and do better but never does he try. I feel like I’m not appealing to him. I need more and I don’t know what to do. This no passion is really wearing on me. What should I do?
If he can’t do that one simple thing, and you’ve asked him a few times, I know what I would do..leave. are you guys still together?
same here! married 16 years and it’s blahhhh
I fell deeply in love with a man I’ve known for years , I’m 52 and I’m scared of our first time as I have stretch marks on my stomach and top of my legs threw having my son, he loves me to bits, i have told him i have them, but i feel embarrassed about them and am terrified it will put him of me
Stretch marks are just your bodies natural tattoos, they tell a story of how a woman has given life. Never be ashamed of your own skin.
I bet your beautiful naked woman’s body especially after creating a whole humanis fucking sexy k men just usually want us naked and there’s cute things to wear to make you more comfortable. Or slide into the sheets first at signal him over! Try to find things about yourself you find stunning and treat yourself kindly wear your favorite perfume dance alone to an intimate song.
Drink a glass of wine or two and being in love remember he’s also your friend and love should always be fun and feel like freedom. Also like you Men can be insecure about things a woman probably wouldn’t notice or take in a very different way as beautiful and something uniquely special to you. Marriage is also key while keeping a youthful heart. ~ best wishes
When someone loves you, your stretch marks will be irrelevant to them as the connection they have with you is what matters. These concerns are unfounded and you shouldn’t allow such insecurities to dictate the outcome of your relationship with him. I am sure he is aware of such things and if it bothered him, he would have either aired his opinion on it or show little interest in you because of it. That isn’t the case. You are just over thinking it. Your mindset can be more of a stumbling block than the actual scars themselves.
Me and my partner are both active in bed we been together maybe 12 years.but sometimes i fell insecure to his actions.i observed so manny times.and i discover what his doing in social media or 8n his phone.and even when we go out,i see him so humble to other women and his so active for beautiful and sexy women and interactive in live video’s be he touch me in bed.and i fell so insult for what his doing if im so busy to cleaning or cooking for our own needs.i check his phone and find out hos making live sex for other women.pls give advice whats the thing to do.i fell so much hurt.but im trying to relax ang control my self.cuz if i ask him hes like a volcano yelling and sometimes he hurts hes oun body and sometimes he hurt me too.i dont understand hes deny to what i see and what i observed.
I know how this feels. I wish I had something to say that would make this disappear for you, but I have said it all to myself and it never made it go away. All I can say is, you don’t deserve it. I don’t know why they do these things, and do it knowing how it makes us feel, but I know it isn’t right.
I hate this feeling girl ! You are not alone. When my man and i first got together 4 years ago i was wild. We would lay in bed for days. Our relationship was very physical we spent every minute together. Then covid lifted and i got pregnant. We both have jobs now and our daughter is one years old. Having a child is demanding ( but i love being a mom so so much so grateful) however i do hate that we font spend as much time. Consequence of that i found is porn, live chats, whats app. Google voice. Fake facebook . Hiding his friends list and things. Its painful and And I bring it up and he snaps at me. Or even worse than that basically, distinct noise basically just ignores the question and acts like I’m crazy.
I think in a way because we have a child and live together. He thinks that I’m not going anywhere that I’m just his baby mama. And he pays the bills, so I’ll be there. So he just does what he wants. Don’t get me wrong whenever I get really fed up. Hey, doubles back and buys gifts and spends quality time. But It’s hard when you want to be a family for your kid.
And you don’t want to argue in front of them.
So I let a lot of things go. I’m just so very busy with the baby in the house. And I babysit, and go to school. I don’t really know how to go about.
Making making my point about it
What if you’ve been in a relationship for over 6 months with a man similar to my age and hasn’t been intimate yet with me? He helps take care of his mom and same by me so no privacy. I spend time with him every week. I keep asking about getting a hotel room just once to be intimate and I’m still waiting. We’re both 49 years old. My friend said sounds like not telling me he has maybe a health issue maybe down there why he hasn’t done anything with me or maybe is inexperienced even with his older age. What do you think?
Tammy I love passionate kissing as well but if a person has bad breath or bad oral hygiene i wont do it. Make sure you always get ur dental cleaning done and take good care of ur mouth/teeth if ur not already doing so. Also ask him hey why dont u kiss me passionately anymore? Do i have bad breath is my tongue too wild talk to me babe. Good luck girl!
Me and My boyfriend have been having some great sex this past few months sense he moved closer and I started staying with him. but the past month and half something like that. he has gone from loving being on top pouring it to me and asking me to ride him cause he knows that’s my favorite and doggie to were he wants me on my side facing away from him in other words my back towards him..don’t get me wrong but deep down it makes me like he is tired me and I am not as beautiful and sexy as he says I am so just to avoid seeing my face he perfers me on my side I don’t understand why..cause when we started doing it more when I started staying with him the one side deal never was really in the cards but like I said it’s just been past month to month and half and I been staying with him sense March 2024 but I just don’t understand the on my side deal pretty much shortly after we start and I want to ask him but I don’t know really what to say or don’t want him to think I don’t like cause I do also he is like do this do that and I am thinking this seems to be your favorite anymore so u do what floats your boat cause obviously other positions isn’t pleasing u like they were