Even after coming a long way from a relationship, the ghost of its existence haunts us for a long time. To be sure that your past relationships are still not haunting you and you are over them, you have to know about the ways your ex-relationship and ex-partner can control your life.
Their Words Shape Your Actions:
We know that we held them close to us at some point in life and listened to everything they said with sharp ears because their opinions mattered. Their opinions of us, especially the bad ones, might keep a steady hand on us even after they are gone, even after their opinions stopped toВ make any difference.
You Sneak Out:
You quietly sneak out, secretly forgiving yourself, to talk to him or her. You have that little wish buried somewhere inside your head to get just one chance to have a conversation with them for the sake of the past. You never completely shut them out which is not very ideal.
You Idealize Them:
Your friends are still not spared of listening to your praises of them. He/she was so perfect; they were so good at it. The right way to move on is to eradicate the idea of them and their perfection, however true, once and for all. Dwelling has never helped and never will.
The Undying Love:
This is commonly how people let their past relationships and partners control their lives and you might too by never stopping to love them. It is okay to not be able to unlove’ somebody and it might not even be possible but for whatever reason the relationship ended, you have got to respect that.
Dwelling on Past:
We find it hard to let go of things that need letting go and dwell on the past when it only brings pain and sadness. You let your ex control your life by wandering in the silent streets of history where nobody cares about your presence. All you do is damage yourself.
You Stay Weak:
Once you are done showing your vulnerable side to them and they have very clearly made it visible that they are not interested in it, you need to strengthen up. You stay weak only to let them have some control over you. Do not give in like that.
You Re-Read Their Texts:
Their texts, their letters and the exchanged pictures; you do not feel strong enough to get rid of them, to wipe them clean. By doing that you are allowing them to still hover over you while you try to do better. Burn those letters, reset your phone and move on.
You Remember the Favorites:
You still visit their favorite restaurant and order the same things they used to order like some crazy person when what you should actually be doing is start a new run like you have just been reincarnated and deserve a new and fresh start, like you don’t remember anything from your previous life.
When Facebook reminds you of all the memories you have with them, you take a good amount of time out to go through the pictures of the trip you went on together. Don’t do that. Either scroll down past that memory or delete it. Whatever floats your boat.
You Lose Confidence:
When they decide to set you free you lose a big chunk of your confidence to that loss. You give up at trying new things which is one of the many things you are doing wrong. Not losing the thrill of life after they have left is what you should do to actually be free.
You Decrease Your Standards:
You start settling for average partners, people who are not your type and people who are just like your ex. You tell yourself that you don’t deserve any better than your ex. You do deserve better. Don’t let your ex control your life by setting your standards in accordance with your last relationship.
One common mistake: you compare your current relationship with your last relationship. This is probably the worst way to let your ex control your love life. Know that you are exclusive, every person is different and so is every other relationship. Don’t disrespect your current partner by comparing them with someone.
You Think of Going Back:
You still have not lost all hopes for getting back together with your ex. While you date other people, you wait for your ex’s call to meet or talk again. All that time, you deceive yourself and give in to your ex.В When you have broken up, finalize it. Refrain from making it anymore complicated by keeping a future possibility. You will only damage your present by doing that.
The Ever-So-Alive Ghost:
You welcome the ghost of your past into your present and feed it with regret and resentment. The right way of eradicating a bad experience or a memory is to be immune to it and even to its ghost. No matter how life makes you stand up against the same person again, you show it you have gained control over it by not letting yourself get affected in any way possible.
Talk to me
Does your ex still have some sort of control over your life? Let me know in the comments below!