There are those of us who are lucky enough to just be inherently amiable and there are those who aren’t. We are all wired differently as human beings. We all have different experiences in this world that shape our personalities and worldviews.
It’s only natural that some of us aren’t necessarily going to have as easy a time at making friends as others. Some of us aren’t always going to be good at getting others to like us.
If you’re the kind of person who struggles with getting people to like you, then don’t worry. There are literally billions of other people just like yourself. You are definitely not alone in this. However, that doesn’t mean that you should just be simply content with being an unlikeable person. At the end of the day, it still really pays off when you get other people to like you.
When you take a good look at the people who are so amiable, what is it about them that strikes you first? Some people just have an innate charm within them whenever they interact with others. Others might just be naturally witty. Some people are so amiable with just the looks that they have on their faces. Well, there are a lot of factors that go into whether or not a person is going to like you. And there is a science to it.
Getting People to Fall For You
Love is always tricky. When you develop an interest in someone, you aren’t always going to be able to ensure that these feelings are mutual. At the very base of it all, you have to get a person to like you first. This is why it’s important for you to learn about the skills of getting people to like you right away.
If this isn’t something that is intuitive to you at first, then that’s fine. A group of trained psychologists has released a few tips and tricks that you can try to employ in your everyday life.
It’s not true when they say that you can’t learn to be likable. Yes, you can. You just have to know what to do and have the willingness to do it. Here are a few techniques that you can try to immediately make yourself more likable to the people around you.
1. Focus on Shared Values and Interests
You need to be able to find that middle ground. Find that commonality between the two of you. Obviously, when you are able to find that commonality, it will be a lot easier for you to connect with one another. They will end up feeling a lot more comfortable whenever they’re with you if you are able to share common values and interests. This will give them a sense of ease whenever they are with you.
2. Pretend As If You Like Them
This might seem a little too simple, but it’s actually the truth. People will tend to respond better to you whenever you pretend like you like them. Of course, this is going to be a little difficult for you if you don’t have any acting skills. But if you’re able to pull it off, it’s going to let the people around you feel more comfortable about themselves whenever they’re with you.
3. Always Expect the Best of Them
If you are constantly expecting the worst of a person, then they aren’t really going to enjoy being around you. Naturally, if you are able to inspire confidence in someone else, then they will feed off that energy. Make it a point to always inspire the best in the people around you. If you are good for a person’s self-esteem, then they are going to love having you around all the time.
4. Be Open About Yourself
Just allow yourself to be a little more open and honest. Tell them a few little well-placed secrets about your life. Express a sense of vulnerability around you. Once they see that you’re making this kind of effort, it will be easier for them to respond in the same manner. Being vulnerable to them is a show of trust. And this will entice them to trust in you as well.
5. See Them How They Want to Be Seen
This technique is going to require a great deal of perception and intuition. People tend to think a certain way of themselves. They will act depending on how they want other people to perceive them. If you give them this validation, then it will make them feel good about themselves. They will end up seeking this kind of validation from you over and over again.
6. Spend More Time Together
Familiarity is key. People tend to be more drawn to things that they are familiar with. Even though some people tend to be more spontaneous, most of us are creatures of habit. This means we are most comfortable whenever we are surrounded by familiarity. The more familiar you grow with one another, then the more accustomed you become to having each other around all of the time.
7. Have Mutual Friends
Psychologists say that people will be more inclined to trust you when they know that you have an established network of friends. For instance, you have a better chance of getting your friend’s co-worker to like you instead of a random person at a bar with whom you share no connection. Having a person who bridges the gap is key in getting people to like you.
8. Speak Good of Others
Perception can tell a lot about your personality. If you are constantly perceiving other people in a positive light, then it’s easy for the people around you to do the same for you. On the other hand, if you always speak ill of others, then people might perceive you to have a negative attitude and a toxic personality.
9. Be a Little Touchy
Don’t underestimate the power of the physical touch. There are so many people out there who don’t realize just how impactful a simple nudge on the shoulder or a part of the hand can do. Simple physical acts or gestures like these can go a long way in making another person feel comfortable. It’s just a matter of timing and appropriateness. Be careful not to overdo it.
10. Don’t Be So Liberal with Your Compliments
Yes, you should always make it a point to stay positive and speak kind words about other people. However, you don’t want to overindulge in doing so. If you are just constantly saying nice things, then you aren’t being believable anymore. It will be hard to perceive what you’re saying is genuine. So, always speak good of others, but try to do so in moderation.
11. Maintain an Optimistic Mood
Try to have a more positive disposition in life. When you are generating positive vibes wherever you go, it’s easier for people to gravitate towards you. Keep in mind that people feed off the energy they are surrounded by. So, if you are constantly putting forth positive energy, then this is the kind of energy that people will provide you in return.
12. Smile a Lot
This shouldn’t probably have to be said at this point, but some people just need a reminder to smile. Smile. Show off those pearly whites. Think about two strangers who are standing in front of you. One of them has a smile on their face and the other is frowning. Who are you more likely to approach? Naturally, it’s going to be easier for you to gravitate towards the person who is smiling. Again, it’s all about maintaining an air of optimism around you.
13. Allow Them to Talk about Themselves
You always want them to feel like you are genuinely paying attention to them. So, just allow them to keep on talking about their lives. This way, you get to show them that you’re really interested in them because you keep asking them questions. On top of that, you get a better opportunity to really get to know them better.
14. Showcase Your Sense of Humor
A sense of humor can always be a great tool for you to use to defuse a situation. The truth is that it can be a very awkward experience meeting another person for the first time. There’s a lot of tension there. Try to insert a well-timed joke here or there to bring that tension down a notch. It’s a great way to showcase your wit. Also, you get to let the other person feel more comfortable and vulnerable around you.
15. Be Receptive and Competent
There are two layers to this tip. For one, you have to be receptive. You have to be accessible. They will find it a lot easier to open up to you if you are a more approachable person. On top of that, you also have to show a level of competence. You make it easier on yourself to earn other people’s respect whenever you showcase your competence to them.