Breakups can be hard on both men and women, given their extent of attachment to the person who left. Why it can be sometimes harder for men and easier for women is explained here.
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Men Are Distant:
The two genders deal with breakups differently. A woman would probably call a friend or have a night out with her girlfriends after a bad breakup but a man is likely to hesitate in sharing his sadness with his macho not-so-feely dude friends. It is wrong but it is very common.
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He Got Close:
Women almost always get close and expect a little too much from relationships as compared to men. And when men do, it can be harder on them after a breakup as they have never been loved and left like that. They just got to know what affection is and all of it blew disastrously.
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Women End It:
Contradicting the stereotypes, a YouGov study’s results showed that 76% of the women questioned were the ones to end a relationship and 84% of men said they were dumped. So men are more likely to suffer heartbreak, according to the study, and are not able to deal with it very well.
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More Men Smoke:
The health of men suffers more than women’s after a breakup. Women do drink alcohol but less comparatively. Statistics show than men smoke a lot more than women, especially when they are stressed or depressed. Women are also good caretakers so their absence is a factor for men’s bad health post-breakup too.
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She is His Home:
Men tend to think of women as their home, something they can take refuge in when times are difficult. The woman they love is a source of their feeling of completion that tells them they that even if they don’t have their concrete home, they will always have an abstract one. After the breakup, they are left emotionally homeless. – Continue reading on next page
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Slow At Sensing The Signals:
When a relationship is falling apart or the woman is pulling away for her own reasons, men fail to sense the signals sent out by her before she officially breaks it up. That is also why when the blow hits them, they take it hard on themselves whereas women are able to sense small changes in behaviors.
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Lovesick:
As much as men refuse to admit the absolute need for someone to share their lives with, they are studied to be more lovesick than women. And they don’t have to really be in love to feel lovesick. They crave it before they have it, while they have it and even after it is long gone.
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Hurt Self-Esteem:
Finding someone who likes us makes us feel good about ourselves, and when that someone leaves we reassess ourselves. Our self-esteem drops and the thought of going all over the process of dating again sounds weary. Men have large egos, most of them, and it is hurt when they are left behind by their loved ones.
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Younger Men Suffer More:
20s is the age when people and experiences are gained so a loss at this age can make a man question himself. So would a woman but since men almost always look for the largest piece of cake, it is problematic for them to not be given the cake at all.
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Change in Behavior:
It is seen commonly that men, after a breakup, become spiteful, especially younger men. One or, at the most, two heartbreaks change their reaction towards love and they treat every loving person the bad way. They actually stop believing in love for a long time until someone makes them rethink.В – Continue reading on next page
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Effect on Mental Health:
Men are twice as likely to be depressed after a breakup or divorced as women, as claims a psychological study. Women go through great pain too, there is no denying that, but men, once attached, take it too hard on themselves although they are unable to express it as well as most women.
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Distraction:
As they bury their pain and depression deep down in their hearts instead of discussing them and letting it all out to a friend or family member, it forever becomes a distraction for them. No matter how hard they try, the buried pain comes to bite back every once in a while they are alone in a room or even in a room full of people.
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They Move On:
Men move on, yes, but they never become anything closer to what they were before the relationship whereas women often get over the heartbreak so well that they go back to being better than their past self. Recovery, too, works different ways for men and women.
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Men Are Bad At Choosing:
A woman, very keenly, chooses her partner when it comes to settle down while men, from the beginning of the relationship put all their effort in winning. They compete for women and when they see their efforts going to waste at the time of breaking up, it naturally angers them. Women know their choice was wise just as well as they know it was not meant to be.
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Starting Over, A Problem in Itself:
As reasoned before, men take time in moving on from the heartbreak; they never completely get over it. Therefore, starting over with someone new and different tends to bring back memories which women, on the other hand, have well-buried unlike men. So generally, breakups are harder on men than they are on women.
Men, talk to me
How did you deal with your last breakup? Let me know in the comments down below!
I’m a male that’s 50 that is currently going through the break up thing, all fifteen of these are so true. I felt lied to, betrayed like I wasted over three years of my life and time for no reason. I wasn’t dumped because she or I cheated in the relationship, I was dumped because she wanted her old career back after she had chosen retirement a tad over three years prior and that’s exactly what happened even after I begged her not to. I feel that she chose money and a career that doesn’t exactly lend itself to a any sort of relationship regardless if you are male or female over my love because she was struggling financially. My best suggestion is find a friend that will listen to you vent and talk about it and leave any mind altering substances alone. It has really helped me. I’ve talked to my friends, coworkers both male and female so I could get perspectives from both sexes. It has helped me process that sometimes regardless of how well you treat a woman, it’s just never “Good enough” and it was never meant to be.
Seems counterintuitive.
Is all this just cultural and sociological, or is it biological?
Can you give an evolutionary explanation?
Aren’t there some men that are fully over their ex’s? Isn’t there so much variation between men and between women?
I found that women don’t get too attached or committed deep in their heart later on in life. When a girl goes through a bad divorce they tend to work toward independence and the thought of getting to close to a man they will lose it. It feels unsafe to them and excused as to why start flying out of fear.
I don’t think that part about men being bad at choosing is true