Remember, mere insecurities can lead to a lot of pain and suffering.
Most of us girls have been in a relationship that started delightfully but as time passed, we found out that we’re dealing with an insecure man. Insecure boyfriends not only threaten your freedom but also your emotional well-being and the sense of peace.
We all need attention and substantiation but the imbalance of those two aspects is wicked. It might feel good to get a guy’s attention 24/7 but soon, it becomes a nightmare that you cannot wake up from.
In most cases, you find out that your boyfriend is insecure when it’s too late and you’ve already invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship. In order to save you from such a conundrum, we’ve compiled a list of 15 signs that are sufficient to tell if your boyfriend is insecure. So girls, look out for these signs before getting emotionally and physically attached to your partner:
One of the first signs in identifying an insecure boyfriend is that he doesn’t really hang out with other people much. Most of the time, he is with you and demands that you spend most of your time with him too. Moreover, insecure boyfriends do not get involved in engaging activities such as sports or gym. Another sign is that he used to do all those things but slowly stopped having a life wanting to spend every second of his day with you.
2. He is jealous or uncomfortable with your friends
Another grave sin is jealousy. Jealousy that is unwarranted. Insecure boyfriends are jealous when you spend even a little time with your friends including female ones. They complain that you are not giving them enough time or priority. When he is not around, he is constantly checking up on you in the form of texts and calls in order to know your whereabouts. Sometimes, constant attention does make you feel special but don’t be fooled, it is always toxic.
3. He is always seeking validation
Men with healthy emotional states do not need their partner’s validation at every step. However, insecure men are always seeking validation. Asking questions such as do you love me? how much do you love me? do you find me attractive?
Basically, insecure boyfriends are always fishing for compliments and positive affirmations. That is usually because of the fact that they have low self-esteem.
4. He falls in love way too soon
Insecure men tend to confuse their unhealthy attachment as love. They tell you that they love you way too soon in the relationship. They usually do it in order to make your stay. But in reality, love takes time and nurturing, it takes time for you to fall in love and stay in love. A bigger sign of insecurity would be the fact that he is forcing or pressuring you to say it back.
5. They use past relationships as a tool to gain your sympathies
Insecure men tend to think of themselves as victims. They have nothing good to say about their exesВ and maintain a belief that they were treated unfairly. They claim that their exesВ did not love them. Think to yourself! Do you really want to be with a man who has no good words for the people he shared his life with? He will probably be saying the same things about you in the future.
6. He stalks you on the Social Media
Insecure boyfriends are always stalking their partners on social media websites such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. The reason behind it is the fact that they want to know your every move. Most guys interact with their girlfriends on social media occasionally but if a guy is constantly commenting and liking everything, going through your friend’s list and asking you about whom you talk to, it is definitely a sign that he is insecure.
7. He is always trying to snoop on you
Run the other direction if you ever find your boyfriend disrespecting your privacy. Pathological snooping includes checking your phone, social media accounts, and credit card history all the time. Moreover, he will probably be restless when you’re using your phone when you are with him. He will even lean over occasionally in order to see whom you are texting.
8. He demands to know everything
Insecure boyfriends demand to know each and everything about your life and your days. They get angry when you accidentally omit something and they later find out about it. It is a grave sign of insecurity if he keeps asking you about how you spend your time, places you go to and the people you talk to. He also demands you to talk about the things that make you uncomfortable. Of course, we all have personal thoughts and secrets that are not meant to be shared but in case of an insecure boyfriend, nothing is private and everything must be shared at any cost even if it is unimportant.
9. He doesn’t give you space
As human beings, sometimes, we need to be alone. Space and healthy distance are one of the things that make a relationship successful but insecure boyfriends have no concept of giving space.’ Instead, he smothers you with his neediness and the need for constant communication. God forbid that you ask for some time alone! He will take your request as a taunt and an insult. Would you really want to be in a highly co-dependent relationship where instead of being taken care of, you are having to consider the feelings of two people?
10. His mood depends on yours
A man with low self-esteem and insecurities will always seek the reaction-formation. He will only be happy when you are good to him. As humans, we cannot always be caring and loving, there are times where we need to focus on ourselves. But, in insecure relationships, you are never able to show the negative phases of your mood. An insecure boyfriend will take your mood-swings personally and in return, mess up his own mood too.
11. He argues over late replies and missed calls
An insecure man finds it an insult if you don’t reply to his texts or return his calls in a timely manner. He fails to understand that you have other things to do as well and you have other responsibilities. He does not acknowledge that you have a life that exists outside the relationship-bubble he is stuck in. If your boyfriend argues over the aforementioned things, ladies, you are dealing with an insecure and needy person!
12. You get accused of cheating
Even when you are spending most of your precious time with him, he will still at some point feel deprived of attention and accuse you of cheating on him. Moreover, you cannot talk to him about your male friends without him throwing a fit. The moment they feel deprived of your attention, they accuse you of having an affair or feelings for someone else. Do you really want someone with this level of insecurity in your life?
13. He will overthink the meaningless words and actions
When faced with insecurity, men tend to over-analyze even minute actions and words. He will accuse you of insulting him or being insensitive even when you had no intention of being that way. Moreover, talking without a mental filter will become a thing of the past, you will always think before speaking in order to not inflame his insecure phase. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you are always scared of being yourself?
14. He gets aggressive
After jealousy and insecurity come aggression. Slowly the relationship becomes one emotional mess. The guy you once knew disappears and is taken over by pettiness. He will have temper outbursts regarding the minor things and he will bring up events that you’ve probably even forgotten. At this stage, basically, he will always look for ways to start a blame-game.
15. Confrontation becomes ugly
If your boyfriend is insecure, usually, he will not be able to talk about his insecurities. Even when you do confront him, he lashes out and gets defensive instead of talking about the issues. Such men are so insecure about themselves that they cannot deal with even constructive criticism.
But¦
Despite all the maddening signs, hope is not lost. Insecurity can be cured. But like all ailments, it can only be cured when the person suffering from it actually wants to get better and the first step to this road to recovery Is acceptance. He has to accept that he is insecure and wants to stop acting this way!
Remember one thing ladies! A relationship requires time and efforts from both the partners. Despite popular belief, you do have to change a little for the comfort of your partner. However, the relationship is doomed where even one of the partners is rigid about his/her beliefs and principles.
