1. Focus on the things that you should be thankful for.
Yes, things are dire in your relationship. Yes, the situation really sucks. You’ve probably never faced such a significant challenge throughout the course of your relationship together. But despite all of that, you still need to remember that there are things in your relationship that you should be thankful for. There is always something to smile about.
2. Really confront your feelings.
Don’t suppress your feelings. Allow your feelings to come to the surface. You can’t expect to move on from this if you’re not going to confront how you really feel about the situation. Come to terms with the truth and just trust that eventually, you’re going to heal from it all. Unless, you are brave enough to face the truth, you will never be able to recover.
3. Build on your emotional intimacy with one another.
Remember that intimacy is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. You are never going to be able to get closer to one another, if you’re not going to be intimate with each other. You’re going to have to find a way to not let this issue keep you from building your level of intimacy as a couple. You need to be able to bridge whatever gaps you have between the two of you.
4. Spend more time on doing things together as a couple.
Sometimes, in order for you to really find out who you are as a couple, it’s just a matter of spending quality time with each other. And take note of the term “quality” time. It’s not enough that you’re just around each other all of the time. You need to be able to share activities that can further bind and connect you as a couple. You need to be able to really bond by shifting your shared focus on a single task.
5. Confront your past but always look to the future.
Don’t try to sweep this entire episode under a rug. Know that you have screwed up in the past, and even though it’s unfortunate, it really did happen. But also know that it doesn’t have to be what completely defines your relationship. You are still in charge for how things are going to play out. You still get to decide the fate of your relationship. And it all relies on what decisions and choices you are going to make in the present day.
6. Be as open to one another as possible about everything that has taken place.
Again, confront the problem. Don’t pretend like it never happened. That’s not a healthy way to move past your issues. The only way you can really be okay with moving forward as a couple is if you fully understand why it is you ended up where you are right now.
Given the previous entry, yes, you want to be as open and honest with one another as much as possible. That is part of growth; being aware of previous mistakes so that you don’t find yourself committing them again in the future. But also know that you don’t HAVE to know all of the details – especially the ones that don’t matter much to how your relationship plays out in the future. There are some specifics that are better left unshared.
8. Don’t make any rash decisions when the feelings are still fresh.
You’re going to feel a lot of pain that comes from this betrayal. You will be angry, upset, disappointed, heartbroken, and sorrowful. And given all of these negative emotions are weighing down on you, it might not be wise for you to be making any major decisions about your life and relationship just yet. Give some time to yourself to process everything and keep things in perspective.
9. Avoid any potential triggers for future infidelity.
This might be a little obvious at this point, but always remember that prevention is better than cure. Don’t put yourselves in situations to cheat with one another, and that’s one less thing to worry about.
10. Decide on committing to a renewed relationship with each other.
Commitment is a decision. It’s not a feeling that grows over time. It’s not an emotion that manifests itself out of thin air. It’s a decision that you are going to have to consciously make on a daily basis. The day that you stop deciding to commit to your partner is the day your relationship dies.
11. Ask for professional help if necessary.
Don’t be so naïve so as to think that you are equipped to handle all of your problems on your own. Yes, you are both mature adults, but it’s okay for you to ask for help from those who are equipped to give it. Don’t hesitate to seek help from licensed professionals if you know that you’re not capable of making it on your own.