17 Signs that your partner isn’t serious about the relationship

You are desperate to make it work. You are deeply in love with that special someone and their presence. Even on your worst nights and days marked by constant struggle, you are still into them. Their anger and ignorance aren’t enough to extinguish that fire of burning love you hold in your heart for them. However, it seems as if you are the only one who’s trying and there is no response from the other side. You are trying to pull a rigid rock towards yourself.

It’s hard and every part of your body aches but it’s time to let go because a relationship that is beyond repair will only make you more miserable. Some things aren’t in your control and sometimes you have to accept the fact that prolonging certain things can only make them more wretched for you.

Here are the symptoms of a relationship that your partner is not even trying to help save.

1. They’re Always Too Busy

Your significant other always has time for all the things that they prioritize. Whenever you want them for minor things that will not even take much of their time, they always have some other plans. They don’t even bother to reply to your texts. They have lost interest and it’s quite evident from their behavior.

2. The Cat and Mouse Game

Your partner makes you feel desperate he often exhibits bi-polar behavior. Sometimes they’re into you and on other occasions, they completely shut themself up. They will be dull and will condone everything you have to offer.

The situation will be quite similar to Taylor Swift’s We are never ever getting back together”. You are ready to end things with them, you’ve already made your final decision and what does your partner do? They claim to be this new person who has it all figured out now and is going to do everything in their power to set things right. You will eventually see that they have just emotionally blackmailed you yet again with their lies and are much more confused than you are. It’s time to be Miss Swift now and you have to set them free for good. There’s no point in being in a relationship that is just hanging by a thread. It’s at its breaking point.

3. They’re Judgmental and Depreciating

In a relationship, two people need to care for each other’s feelings. We all have different belief systems and we are quite opinionated on certain matters. We all have different preferences and different perceptions of different things. However, no one has the right to be judgmental.

On certain things such as religious matters and discussing the different aspects of life, they do no respect your words and they will always make you regret saying certain things. This is a deterrent to individual growth and this also causes the confidence of a person to reduce exponentially. You will have to think twice about saying certain things. Every human deserves a voice and if your partner only has a deprecating response ready for you, then you don’t need to be around a person like this. You deserve better than this.

4. They’re Unsupportive

It doesn’t matter how high the wall is. It can just as easily break as a fence would. Similarly, you may be very well capable of doing challenging things in your relationships but, just think about it wouldn’t you like it if your partner comes along, offering you their resilient support?

Being a wall, your partner can lean on you and doesn’t label you as a weak person. Being in a relationship demands full-time support and backing up from your partner, especially when things get tough. Exhibiting an unsupportive attitude shows your partner doesn’t really care enough whether you get the tough tasks done successfully or not. It’s a major sign they aren’t interested in maintaining a healthy relationship with you. You might as well let them go.

5. They Employ Gaslight Technique

This is a somewhat controlling technique applied in a relationship by one partner where they blame the other person for things they didn’t say or do. Your partner will wrongly convince your reality is an illusion. This emotional abuse clearly shows your partner is untying the knot of the relationship without thinking twice.

6. They Remain Under the Limelight

Being in a relationship means both persons involved matter. If your partner makes things about themselves; steal your thunder, so they say, leaving little or no room for you, they’re not giving you the chance to express yourself. Being left out like this harbors feelings of an inferiority complex which can be very damaging.

7. Demoralizing You

Do you feel like your partner’s constantly negating things you say, finding faults in your actions and neglecting you in some way? Such demoralizing schemes are a screaming sign your relationship is too one-sided and your partner isn’t putting too much effort in acknowledging you or the things you do for their sake.

If things are straightforward enough yet you still find yourself defending something you said or did, despite it being right, something isn’t right and you need to realize it.

8. They Keep Repeating the Same Mistake

Not every sorry deserve an okay. It’s just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. If your partner makes mistakes it is okay. We all make them. But it is definitely not okay when your partner ignores the negative effects their mistakes have on you and carry on committing those mistakes over and over again. Even if they say sorry, it does not mean anything to them because they say it just for the sake of saying it; they go and do it all over again. Would you actually want to be with someone who doesn’t live up to their word?

9. Their Excessive Expectations Tire You

Everyone has their limits and everyone breaks. Expectations are genuinely draining body and soul. When your partner expects too much from you and you, being wholly committed to your relationship, start living up to those expectations then there will come a time when you will feel utterly exhausted.

Your partner won’t make you feel like yourself by the end of it. Their demands and expectations, if not fulfilled in some way or the other, will indirectly lead you to believe you didn’t try hard enough, even though you did. It is not you but your partner not putting in the effort of their own into the relationship. You shouldn’t be with someone who is always making you feel tired in your own skin.

10. They Become Superficial

Looks and beauty and all of that matters, you know? But so do other things. So when your relationship becomes nothing but that a means to an end; where your partner only wants sex and the only compliments you get are for your physical appearance or dressing etc, it is not a good sign. We mostly see bodies, not souls. Being in a relationship requires a bit of both, actually. Though the latter, of course, needs more focus. When your partner only cares for the physical and superficial aspect of your relationship, take it as a sign they have lost interest in the relationship as a whole.

11. They Keep You Constrained

If your partner deliberately pushes you away from meeting family and friends at public gatherings, consider it an indirect claim that they don’t want you to be included in their special group of people. Why would they do that if they were serious about the relationship? So if you are well gone into the relationship yet no one associated with your partner knows you other than your name, understand that your partner has no special concern for the relationship. Those who are truly committed to one another find it a joyous exercise to brag about each other to the rest of the world, not keep each other like caged birds.

Speaking in the same context, another thing that determines if your partner is really interested in the relationship is how much fun they let you have. If it’s Saturday night and your partner goes to the karaoke bar with their friends or the movies and does not take you along well, you know how non-serious they are about being with you.

12. Your Friends Don’t Know What’s Going On

Friends can always, one way or the other, tell what might be going on between you and your partner. But when your partner’s attitude and actions become so strange, even your friends will be unable to make some sense out of it. Simply because your partner will not be doing any of the things that are generally done in a healthy relationship that is going somewhere. Therefore, no one will be able to tell if you even are in a relationship. You had an accident but your partner doesn’t come to visit you in the hospital. Wouldn’t your friends to whom you told you were in a relationship and are putting all your effort into it question the seriousness of your relationship then?

13. They Grow Distant

If your partner doesn’t let you come close even when they need it, they don’t care about what you both have in the relationship. Not letting you touch their heart and comfort their soul is a sign they are not really interested in what you mean to them and how important your relationship to them is.

14. You Want It To End Too

Your gut will just tell you when things get fishy and you would want to end the relationship yourself. There is only so much you can ignore after all.

15. They Don’t Remember Much About You

The first time you bought them a present; the funniest conversation you two had; the toughest battles you fought for them if your partner doesn’t bother to remember such common things about you, do you actually think they are interested in maintaining the relationship? No matter what it is, people in a healthy relationship tend to grasp tightly to as much as they can about their partner from their dislikes to the sound of their laughter and everything in between. It’s because they care.

16. They Will Hurt You More Than Usual

It’s a sign of carelessness when your partner ignores things that they know will hurt you yet do them anyway. They will make you cry more than bringing a smile on your face. Anyone genuinely wanting to be with you would never do that, now would they? So don’t waste your tears on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

17. You’re Not the One For Them

It’s hard to accept at first but if your partner feels you aren’t the one for them, they will stop putting any effort into the relationship. Learn to let them go.

Talk to me:

Is your partner showing any of these signs? Do let us know!